I am on a quest to catch up to the culture
I came to this country in 1985. In all of my 38 years here I watched TV on a TV set maybe 10 hours total… Probably less.
So I haven’t been part of the ‘culture’. And being part of the culture is essential if you want to be in people’s world.
Everything is culturally defined. Love, sadness, tragedy, compassion, etc. Culturally defined.
So I have some catching up to do if I want to be able to be in YOUR WORLD… where I manage to say the words that exactly resonate.
Tall order… by the way.
But I am doing my darned best… and hope that it will be enough.
So after watching some Jesse Stone, now I am watching James Bond with Sean Connery. HATE the way he feels, by the way… and he hates it to.
So I am watching ‘From Russia with Love’ and the plot is so convoluted that I have to stop the video every 2-3 minutes to sit with the data that comes in.
I have this idea that maybe this is what people who study with me feel… too much, and too different from what you consider smooth and fitting.
Most people who read my articles or buy my courses don’t hang out with the ‘data’ coming from me… they are skimmers. Don’t ponder it. They get what they get and then they move on.
It is eerily like the way they eat.
The way I used to eat. Mindlessly. Like they do everything. Do it with the end in mind, at the end with their eye…
Stephen Covey didn’t say: do it with the end in mind. He said: BEGIN with the end in mind… What he didn’t say, and should have, is do it with what you are doing in mind… meaning: be present. Put all your power in your action. Now and now and now.
And what was the name of that book? Seven habits of highly effective people…
Doing with the end in mind renders you a HIGHLY INEFFECTIVE person…
I have been, MAYBE, a little less ineffective than you…
Because in some areas of my life I was more present. I was more mindful. I was putting all power in all my actions in that area. But not all.
In the area of my health I was campaign minded. Campaign minded simply means: you are doing it because of the end you have in mind… and you’ll stop doing it as soon as the end is really in sight…
So in spite of being highly knowledgeable in all health matters. In spite of having been able to help hundreds of people with their health, my health has suffered the campaign minded attitude I have had.
Always.
Until, hopefully, now.
The enormous benefit of doing things in groups is to the rescue.
Landmark Education swears by group teaching… the dynamic is like the flood that carries everyone, to the degree that they are flexible. To the degree that they are light on their feet.
People left to their own devices rarely move enough for it to matter. This includes people who are in private coaching, or mentoring.
You may not believe me, but if mentoring and private coaching were really where it’s at, then there would be millions of 1000’s, and yet… there are only 1000.
So groups are where it’s at.
Groups create a ‘culture’… where you don’t want to be left out… It is basic human nature…
Whereas when you are on your own, how you do anything is how you do everything… meaning: you lie (to yourself), you cheat, you don’t care, you just want to get it over with.
Thus performing one of the deadly sins… from the Seven Habits of Highly Ineffective People.
So what happens if you ‘follow’ my articles, my courses this way?
- You’ll come away with nothing. That is OK.
- Another thing that may happen is that you come away with more of what you have already had. More of what has gotten you to where you are today… And, I suspect, you are not hear, reading this, because you are happy with where you are today.
- And the third thing that happens is you come up with your own interpretation of what was said.
Occasionally that is brilliant. I have had one person come up with an interpretation that seems to produce a good result for her.
But most of you come up with something that you don’t like. And through that, you now don’t like me.
But being liked is 91% of producing results for people. 91%. You don’t want to buy from people you don’t like. You don’t want to succeed with products from people who you don’t like. You don’t want to make them proud. The ‘he or she shouldn’t have anything or I’ll die‘
Wretched.
What I want for myself, I want for everyone…
Wallace D. Wattles talks about the man in Toledo, Ohio
Beware of the competitive mind!! No better statement of the principle of creative action can be formulated than the favorite declaration of the late ‘Golden Rule’ Jones of Toledo: ‘What I want for myself, I want for everybody.‘
Unless and until you can BE that person (not just spout it mindlessly) you’ll be wretched.
I have had some teachers, some coaches I didn’t like. You like who you like… I managed to separate the person and the behavior, so what I now don’t like is the behavior, the attitude, the worldview… and can have the person be just a person.
It wasn’t easy, but I did it. I actually have to do it every day. About everyone I meet, read, watch. Have the person and the behavior as separate entities.
Because the law of physics, as T. Harv Eker famously said: when you show up sh!t, it falls back on you too, not just on the intended target.
The common vernacular is to FORGIVE… meaning: give as before. (maybe). Until I was 50 or so, I had millions of slights, abuse, injustice that I had that lined up to be forgiven.
Forgiving is for you… not the other. THEY don’t care!
Anyway, the free course on this topic is now going to be this coming Sunday, October 22. At noon EDT. That is New York time.
If you can, be there.
What you can’t see is how you are destroying your relationships, how you are destroying yourself in the process.
But once you see it, you won’t do it, or do it much less… and self-correct.
Free till Wednesday night‘I already eat slow’ says a guy to my client… But just ask ‘T’. She has been eating slow all her life… but she is not present. She is not chewing. Her mind is somewhere else…
I know, I know, you are happy how you eat. Is your stomach happy?
How you do anything is how you do everything. You don’t chew your food. You are not present. You are ineffective in life.
