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There is always more East to go…
No matter how close I get to the absolute core of things, there is always more to the core.
Frustrating. More for you than for me.
Because what seems like a ‘silver bullet‘ doesn’t work for everyone.
I hate to think that what something doesn’t work for some people, it may be my fault. You would too… of that I am certain.
So between yesterday and today I have been staring at those for whom the anchor doesn’t seem to be visible. For whom the anchor, the wanting doesn’t give power.
My knee jerk reaction is that it’s their fault, but what it isn’t?
I remember the first slogan that hooked me into doing transformational programs was the ‘no one left behind’.
No man left behind
I didn’t sympathize with other people left behind. No. I didn’t want to be left behind, and my whole life felt like I was.
Everyone seemed to have a loving family. Everyone seemed to have support. Except me. I was left behind.
That was my life experience. True or false doesn’t matter. It was MY experience.
Now, fast forward 38 years, almost to the day 38 years, and I don’t want to leave anyone behind. So it is my job to find out what would move those who haven’t been able to see what I have dug out for them.
So I dug deeper.
If it is not a want that anchors them to doom, what can it be?
Want is a pull. So maybe it is a push?
Hm. Maybe they have a shouldn’t disposition… I shouldn’t, it shouldn’t…
I am like that. I don’t want to be. Or I don’t want to have. Or I hate, I abhor. Hell, I would never…
So if that were the case, what would that be?
I have a huge shouldn’t about homelessness. The sign that no one wants me. The sign that I am not worthy enough to have a home.
It drives me… always.
Being pretty, being busy, being helpful, even complaining are strategies to avoid that fate.
So what that tells me that even though that shouldn’t works like a jet-engine, but unless the jet has a destination already programmed, the jet will just bounce around that fate… never really taking off.
Telling tall tales about all one should be is also a strategy. I used to have that strategy.
Now, how is this useful?
It is also an anchor, just a different kind.
It is actually a shorter leash than the want kind. And it has no energy opposing it to pull away from the doom.
I have even found one person who has a shouldn’t, ‘I shouldn’t have anything because then someone can take it.’ like his bicycle when he was young.
I have a shouldn’t: you should stand out because those who stand out will be killed..
As you may be able to tell, this is probably the hardest thing to see, given that the person themselves are driven by it unconsciously.
So neither connecting to their consciousness, nor to their bodies can really clue me in.
So it is a guessing type of game…
My hunch is that the original incident that gave birth to this doom/anchor was an incident when the person’s honest, innocent, and normal desire was squashed.
But even if that is common, the strategy differs.
On client whose strategy to get attention, in the original incident, was to complain… still tries to get some attention with complaining.
Another client whose strategy to get attention, maybe even adulation, in the original incident was to ‘share’ her success. Instead she got diminishment.
A third client, in the original incident, tried to learn something fun, or useful, and instead he had to say good bye to his brand new bike.
Still feel like too much, too thick, too impenetrable.
And yet, having your anchor/want/shouldn’t pulled is a great move.
Let me pull your anchor for you
