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I alternate between resisting and allowing. When I resist I get all tight with the back ache neck ache, and the headache…
So instead of taking a pain pill, I stop resisting. I allow, if I can. When I can. But… but some issues irk me. Let me share my pet peeves.
All the authors, or almost all of the authors I like to read have been dropping the ball. For some reason, recently they have been producing nearly unreadable dreck, Wordy. Shoveled sh!t. shoveled on in a heap.
My hunch is that they are losing the spirit that they can make a living at writing, given the thousands of new mostly female writers women favor. It is mostly women who read. And if a woman wrote the book, it is an automatic five star rating. I don’t read women. When I do, occasionally, I am disappointed.
There is a veritable flood in the marketplace, a reaction to the me-too? Or is it some other socially conscious do-gooding? Pushing books, movies, disproportionately, by and about women, by and about black people. I can’t remember what that is called. Over the top.
Also, in the courses business. 90% of the new ‘experts’ are women.
Don’t misunderstand me, some are good… but only some. Why? Because women more likely to have the attitude of ‘desire to receive for the self alone’. And besides, the same is true with men… But today if you are a woman you are automatically published.
I see my own teachers starting to struggle.
When the market is flooded with stuff. and people choose emotionally, then good people, good value, high quality, integrity gets lost. Because choosing emotionally always picks the dreck…
So I’ve been discouraged. No book to read, so I watched a movie this afternoon.
A 2011 movie, Moneyball. The idea came from an email
Brad Pitt was the main character. He was believable. And he is not as good looking from close, as I thought from all the publicity shots. Maybe no one is as pretty as they look from certain angles.
The other thing about the movie is that his character, a baseball team general manager. He decides to swim against the tide, because that is the only way to live. according to me. Upsetting the ‘how things are done here’ world, and dare to do things differently.
I saw myself in the situation. And even though his team set a new record of consecutive games won, even though another team copied his new method, he feels like a loser.
He expects to lose. And no amount of winning can change that.
His team can win, but he remains a loser. Like he’d established earlier in his own ball player career.
There is an invisible dynamic we all have, it is the human condition, to have a bad experience early in life, and to repeat it and repeat it and repeat it because, somehow, we got addicted to that bad feeling.
I call that feeling your home page. Mine is ‘devastated’. stripped to nothing, left with nothing, not even life.
Everybody has it. No exception.
It is not the easiest things to identify it.
What keeps it in existence are two things, that may be the same thing twice.
One of them gives a little temporary high. Mostly a split second long. But even that split second high has a dark side.
The other is a stuck self-image. and the sadness that goes with it.
One of my students is addicted to the glee of being right, and to the pang of horror of being wrong.
In the incident when her machine’s moves were decided, she took a slope with her pedal car and crashed at the bottom of the hill.
In my experience your machine’s moves are connect closely to your soul correction. Hers is ‘share the flame’ (23). Another client with the same soul correction has the same machine: being right about everything finding that oh no! she wasn’t right.
And also share the same reaction from others. weariness, dislike, disgust.
Although the incident when the machine was born can be very different, the machine is eerily similar.
Why? Beats me.
Maybe a person the size of Newton would be able to figure it out. He, Newton, had the time and the solitude to sit down during the Bubonic Plague and figure it out. I am not the size of Newton. When I ask Source, the answer is ‘I don’t know’.
But no matter what pattern your machine has, your best bet is to not fight it.
I fought mine for 50 years, and have only wounds to show for those years. And then I stopped fighting it, and those 20 odd years have been mostly outside of the machine’s machinations.
In the Allowing Challenge, one of my more successful challenges, people are confronted with the machine…
Your attitude towards the machine can be
1. You fight the machine and suffer. Pay with your health, pay with your wealth, pay with no love, no fulfillment.
2. You numb yourself to your feelings and pretend that they don’t jerk your chains. In essence you tie up your Life Force so nothing good gets produced in your life, in spite of your talents
3. You do what I did. I accepted the judgment the first incident passed upon me. I allowed it to be, and still allow it several times in a day. And I am less and less of the time feel devastated. And I even allow that feeling to just be. Nothing wrong, nothing to fix.
I am planning on doing more challenges.
Lots of people do challenges. Challenges are not easy. at least not for someone like me.
And yet. Challenges are very effective in making people do things normally they wouldn’t do. Things that can forward their lives. Things that can bring clarity in an area where clarity is needed.
The purpose of challenges, I learn, is to demonstrate that you are an expert. To show your superiority. And to bring more and more people under your influence.
Depending on what kind of person you are, it can be generous, or exploitative. Either one or the other.
If it is about what you’ll get out of it, then it’s exploitative. Desire to receive for the self alone.
This is true for any project, for any business.
Example: you found an effective sleep supplement. Is it about easing people’s suffering? or is it about you. About the project, about the fame and fortune it may bring you? Or about easing YOUR suffering?
For many years I devoured Osho’s books.
One of the most important things I learned from him was this: If you want to love, you first need to be filled with love, so filled that love is overflowing. And that overflowing love is what you can give.
Love for yourself. Love for life. Love for existence.
And if you look closely, that is also the principle underneath the two kinds of desires to receive. The one that allows the Light to come to you. And the one that the Light ignores.
Desire to receive for the sake of sharing.
Where you are only the channel. In the case of the sleep remedy the light is intended for the buyers of that sleep remedy. and yet, because the channel always gets some of the light that goes through it, you end up getting a lot of light yourself.
Desire to receive for the self alone.
You need light. You want light. However you name it. You want it. And the end user of your product is just an object. A means to you getting what you want. And you are surprised that you are not getting any light. The more you struggle, the tighter the ‘channel’ becomes.
The main mechanism that prevents anyone from receiving light is the same machine that was born in that early incident.
The incident where you directed all attention on yourself. It is all about you. About being right or not. About being OK or not. Or being in control or not.
And to be able to ‘graduate’ to desire to receive for the sake of sharing, you need to allow the machine to tread water, instead of churning your life.
By allowing. Allowing that you were wrong, allowing that you weren’t running as fast as you could, or that you are not in control. That you weren’t and aren’t the center of the universe. That nearly nothing is about you. That you are not important. And allow the pain to be pain.
And that is hard. But everything worth doing is hard.
If you spend your life doing things that are not hard, you are shallow, your life is shallow, and you are most likely not fulfilled. Fulfillment comes from doing hard things. Hard for you things.
The pull for easy is stronger by the day. I struggle with that pull too.
It’s easiest if you are in the habit of it. And for that you need to start with something a little bit hard and then ramp it up.
So, for example, if any of my challenges is easy as pie, you are doing it wrong. You don’t understand what there is to do.
A challenge needs to be hard.
You either allow the domination of the real issue, the real task, or you avoid it.
Ugh… right? Every fiber of your being wants to either dominate or avoid domination.
Yeah. to become a channel for the light, to get ANY light, you need to learn to ALLOW the domination of what you want to dominate.
Like in aikido. The marshal art aikido. Winning by allowing domination.
Instead of trying to get outside of the machine. Or fighting the dominating force of the machine, you allow the force, allow the domination, and can have a great life, energy to do things, brain cells to do real thinking.
And just so you know: all the suffering comes from resisting. Or suppressing. Or avoiding.
It is very hard to allow something really. Allow pain, fear, thoughts, urges, and ease into it. Not act on what feels normal, natural to do. Allowing feels unnatural. It does.
Anyway, the better you get at allowing the better your life will become, because the more light you’ll receive.
Are you a resister? A fighter? An avoider?
How well do you know yourself?
The better you know yourself the better you know what to allow.
What is your main attitude towards domination?
Are you a resister? A fighter? An avoider?
