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I learned to drive with manual transmission. there were no automatic shifts cars in Hungary at the time. Are there now? I have no idea.
I drove my first automatic in Israel. But even though it was automatic, I shifted back when we were climbing the mountain Jerusalem sits on. A steep serpentine road winding up the mountain with plenty of switchbacks. Not perfect for automatic transmission.
Jerusalem sits on a 2474 feet (754 meters above sea level). So I shifted back to second gear.
Driving that way made for a smoother ride.
But I never switched back the first speed. That would burn the transmission on short order.
And it is the same with people: high about me score means: they burn themselves out from the inside.
The self-importance is like trying to drive on a flat highway in first gear instead of direct.
I woke up this morning, and hesitated a little. As soon as I woke up I wanted to read the books I read, to check if what comes next is what I dreamed…
I don’t dream about myself. Why? Because I don’t play central role in my life. My life is not about me, and not about my life. So I dream about the stories I read, the people I teach, but I can see that most everyone is all about themselves.
It is not about you, and as long as it is, you’ll be unsuccessful, burning out the transmission.
When you look, you may not be able to see it. But no matter what you think, no matter what you say, your inner and outer conversations give it away. The language.
Let’s pit two ways of doing the allowing challenge. finding the wrong and saying it. Saying that it’s wrong.
- Way 1: It’s wrong that my shoulder hurts for some reason unknown to me.
- Way 2: I feel like I’m the densest, dumbest person in the world who can’t get even simple concepts and that is WRONG
Can you tell the about-me score of those sentences?
When I look how I would do the allowing challenge, I would say: It is wrong that it’s so hot. Let’s make this the third way.
What allowing really is is a dissociation. Dis-identification. A distance.
The more something is about you the less you can disidentify with it. You are entangled with it and you have no power. And no amount of fake humility will diminish that.
Literally there is no room for joy, enjoyment, when anything is about you.
If it is YOU who is enjoying. When it is YOU who comes first, enjoyment is really not very joyful.
And it can be about anything. Food, spending time with your sister, sex, gardening. they all take second seat, third seat. but as long as it is about you, at all, there is no joy, no enjoyment.
I specialize in healing certain conditions. Let me rephrase that: I have clients where Source energy that I administer does the healing. I am just a cog in that machine, even though I need to give my time, my attention to it, or it won’t happen.
But I am not important, and that is why it works.
If I wanted to fix something, the emphasis would be on me-me-me, and I would be impotent. And probably mighty frustrated.
Frustrated is a dead giveaway of a high about-me score. The more something is about you, the more frustrated you’ll be.
Even the notion that you can be stuck is a sign of high about me score.
You feel stuck. Feeling stuck is unpleasant. But when it is admitted, acknowledged, then you can start looking to go above, around, under the obstacle. You may even notice that there is no obstacle, it is a mirage.
I have shared about the website that I mucked up a week or so ago.
It turned out that the internet and its speed has changed.
What used to take 10-20 minutes now takes a day or two.
I lived in the past, and expected things go the way they used to go.
The moment I identified the internet speed as the obstacle, I could let it be, and way a day or two.
So now everything is working.
What did I actually do, on the level of ‘ontology’, being science?
I took myself and my expectation out of the picture, and allowed the world to be the way the world is. F..ing slow, like molasses.
When I look at all the healing clients I have EVER had, the common denominator was their high about-me score.
Nothing else.
I watched the replay of a group call of my course creator course. It was on zoom that doesn’t seem to like my computers, so I don’t go on live calls and spend half an hour to be able to connect. I just watch the replay.
The coaches of the program have their pictures on the top. So I muscletested them for their about-me score.
Two tested high, the rest tested low.
MY coach tested high. She also tested ‘yes’ for the condition I specialize in.
So how do you see it on a coach? She sees my success (if it ever comes, lol) as her success. And that is where she coaches from. Not from what the course would want, or not from what I want.
She uses coaching as self-validation. Not validation of the method, or god forbid: me.
I watched a long (for me) video of Teal whatshername, on disidentification.
I managed to catch about 10% of what she was saying. I can’t even tell if it was any good. Why? Because it was all about her. even though she didn’t utter the word ‘I’ at all. And yet…
So when you listen, like attracts like, the people who are enamored with Teal all have high about-me score, and will spout long words, complicated sentences, like an oracle. Sentences that will mean nothing. Sentences that will do nothing other than signal their superiority.
I can’t tell if what she said was truth. Source (muscletest) says: truth value: 7%.
My core group
My core group, the people who often help me develop methodologies by being an early adopter, have now all lowered their about-me score, except the one who is having a hard time taking her attention off herself.
Why? The issue is the identity. That is what creates the wiring.
It’s not personal.
But when the break in belonging happened you took it completely personal. It meant something about you and now you cannot let go of that.
And every time you didn’t get from others what you expected, you added some more ‘how to be’ to your arsenal.
Can I help someone with very high about-me number to lower it?
Of course I can. If they let me.
Why wouldn’t they let me? Because letting go of the ‘I’ feels like death, and in a way it is.
Letting go of self-importance, letting go that it’s all about you is a lot like jumping into the abyss.
For me this disidentification happened when I finally left Hungary in 1982. I was going to a country (Israel), and I could not see that it is a place. I could not see that I could live there. It’s silly, but in my world it was suicide to go. It was dying.
But I did go. And made that same kind of move four more times, until I got to a place I could call home.
Home is where you can be you, however you are.
And when I found it I could let go of my self-importance, but not until then.
Is self-healing possible with high about-me score?
There is another important issue, that I need to deal with in this article: what happens if you do self-healing with a high about-me score? Does it work? Can it work?
And the answer is: it cannot work.
Darn, right?
Well, you need to allow the energy to work. But if you put yourself between you and the illness, then the energy cannot work.
Bummer, right?
So what do you need to do?
You need to be humbled, Or else.
That’s it for today. Bad news for many. and I apologize for that. But it is what it is…
Do you want to know your about-me score?
Get your about-me scorePS: I just discovered what is different about me and ‘the work’.
Everyone teaches whatever they teach, unawares that the foundation students have may be missing, or faulty, or unsuited for what they want the student to accomplish.
It’s not necessarily the teacher’s fault. Students are unaware of what they don’t know, what they don’t have, or what they have as a foundation is entirely unsuited to hold the new level of knowledge.
And thus, even when it is taught, they are unwilling to ‘lower themselves’ to the kindergarten level. They want to start on the PhD level. which is about twenty years above where they are.
And they are surprised, frustrated, angry, disappointed, discouraged that they can’t grok it.
I call it arrogance, but in essence it is an unwillingness to see that you need to BUILD from the ground up, not from some invisible point in the air.
So if you are frustrated, etc. then this is most likely what’s happening: you are missing the foundation. Kindergarten, grade school, high school, collage, graduate school…
And unless you are willing to operate where you are, on that level, you are both stupid and miserable. Bad combination.
And I cannot help you unless you wisen up.
