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Disconnected from what? Disconnected from reality. From ourselves. And of course from others… and maybe, likely, even from what we want.
I signed up to a mini course on how to create trust in animals so they will be OK, so they will be able to do what they normally can’t. They, the humans, somehow, reduce their own thinking, and the animals mirror it and feel safe. The fear response disappears.
I don’t have animals. I now don’t even have the raccoons in the walls any more… they moved out. Did I have anything to do with that? I don’t know. I just became a neutral observer after my landlord decided that he didn’t care.
So why did I sign up to that trust course?
Because I think that if I can learn how to quiet people’s minds they will be able to get more out of what I teach than what they get now.
The course says that a busy mind causes fear.
I don’t know, because I don’t have a busy mind. Although, it is true. When a circumstance makes my mind busy, I experience fear. Or is that the other way around: my mind got busy and the fear came with it?
So it isn’t that I have the skill to slow my mind… it is that I live, intentionally, in a way that the mind doesn’t get excited. Isn’t busy.
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I am reading Margoczi’s new book Worlds. Half philosophical half engineering, I need to allow myself not to understand, not to insist on tracking him word by word… or I’ll fall into the ‘more thinking, more disconnected’ trap.
I have no real idea where he is going. I don’t think many people will get past page 20 in that book… but I will. A few pages at a time… and endless patience for myself for not knowing what he is up to. What he really wants to communicate.
But I know one thing.
As I managed to quiet down my insides over the decades by
- pulling myself out of many people
- allowing myself to meander, instead of forcing myself to go in a straight line
- re-calibrating every course, every book to remove the forcing from it, where it was possible
- distinguishing that what is visible isn’t visible right away…
- celebrating seeing over winning in every area of life
Yeah, lots of parts. But instead of trying to manage them all at once, I only worked on ONE THING at a time. and I gave all my attention to that ONE.
Like they teach it in marshal arts:
you are not fighting multiple attackers, you are fighting one attacker at a time. The alternative is getting killed.
Trying to deal with more than one thing at a time is deadly… because the nature of attention is that it can only be effective on one thing.
All the actions I listed above that have lead me to where I am able to lead a virtually non-thinking life. And all those actions have been important.
Especially the actions that neutralize and remove force.
Every situation, every person you meet, every book you read, every video, every course, every weather even shows up as FORCE. Trying to force you to do something, to pay attention, to be different from how you are.
Most of those forces come from the outside, or at least to come from the outside. But ultimately all of those forces come from the inside. Your reaction… not what you are reacting to.
If, for whatever reason, you have WRONG as something real in your worldview, that wrong or its opposite RIGHT will act as forces… Forces to pull your attention away from what you intend to do. From your inner peace. From your joy, fulfillment, sense of power, love. Everything.
If that is you
If that is you, and 91% of humanity has that as the foundation of their worldview, so the likelihood is that it is you. especially because what brings people to my site is looking for the RIGHT thing…
So if that is you, your first job is to learn to pull back from both the right and the wrong, and allow those to be opinions that don’t apply to you.
And because that is exactly what they are, opinions, someone made them up, you are not engaging in ‘positive thinking’, you are actually telling the truth. Both right and wrong are opinions.
Of course in a world where everyone’s opinion is the most important to them, about gender, about truth, about god, about politics, it is hard to pull back… But if you ever want that peace of mind, that effectiveness, that clarity, you MUST learn to effectively step back.
- Some of you don’t even have the presence of mind to understand what I am saying.
- Some of you understand but don’t agree.
- Yet again, some of you will make a weak attempt, and declare that you can’t… after a few weak tries.
The one percent will persist and learn it.
The key move is to allow.
Allowing is essentially making a space between what you allow and yourself, so its effect on you becomes weaker, negligible.
One of my students has reached that point in the third stage of the challenges…
But only when she managed to see, with the help of the What’s Missing Workshop, what it is that she really NEEDS to feel like a person. Her Pleasure Island.
Until then she was doing the TRYING bit… but not succeeding.
Trying is a code word for not really going for it. In essence pretending. In essence lying.
But when the PRIZE became clear and important enough, then she went for it, and now every attempt at allowing has been successful. The ones she documents and sends to me.
Are there areas where she doesn’t allow? I have no idea until she shares, or until we talk again.
So maybe it is a ‘rule’, that until the alternative is attractive enough, you’ll remain with thinking, with wrong and right and misery.
Back in 1992 I had an insight in an Integrity Seminar. In the ‘stand your complaint on its head and call it your purpose‘ exercise I saw that feeling jerked left and right, up and down, was my main complaint.
It rendered me stupid. It made me literally ill. And I hated it.
Ultimately that was the time I started to distance myself from the jerking forces, when I started to distinguish myself from all those. 31 years ago.
My effective, working IQ was 80 at the time. My overall IQ… emotional IQ included.
Through working ONLY at reclaiming myself from the forces, my effective, working IQ, emotional IQ included more than doubled.
I live in a comfortable silence. Attending to what I intend to attend to.
The other day the big fan in my bedroom stopped working. I was born practically unable to control by core temperature: I don’t sweat. And when I do, even just a little bit, my skin itches like I have thousands of ants on me. So having a working fan in the bedroom is mandatory.
I ordered a ceiling fan through Instacart, and hired a dude to install it.
He canceled our first appointment. I observed myself while I was preparing for the visit, and saw that I wasn’t my calm, peaceful, happy self: I WAS SCARED.
So I canceled the service. It is cheaper to have a ceiling fan in a box than losing my self, my peace to have it installed. So I ordered a fan that doesn’t need installation, and now I am happy.
Will it be as effective as a ceiling fan would be? I don’t know, I don’t care. I am more important to me than having the RIGHT fan…
My Pleasure Island
Because, for me, Pleasure Island is having the peace of mind, having a Self I can love, having the time and skills to teach, to have something valuable to say. The rest what most people seem to want is not important to me.
In the overhauled What’s Missing Workshop that is the focus: what is your Pleasure Island for which you are willing to give up right and you are willing to give up wrong, and for which you are willing to be a bumbling idiot, if that is what it takes.
I LOVE being a bumbling idiot. Finding my way. Owning what I find. Precious.
Let’s find your Pleasure IslandOh, one more thing:
because what the workshop is attempting to do now, I am changing the price structure. When? After this Wednesday’s session. Today? I haven’t decided yet.
I am looking at my own Pain and Pleasure Islands. Yes, I will need some time to see what it is I really want.
I am going to look at it through the ITCH workshop… The ITCH… Your first and most fundamental unfulfilled ‘need’… that was really a want. But still unfulfilled.
I’ll make sure I’ll publish an article on it.
Upcoming What’s Missing workshops
WED, JUN 14, 2023, 12:00 PM – 03:00 PM EDT
SUN, JUN 18, 2023, 05:00 PM – 08:00 PM EDT
SAT, JUN 24, 2023, 07:00 AM – 10:00 AM EDT
