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Most people secretly say: do as I say not as I do
Am I one of them? How about you?
You are inauthentic unless you are true to yourself…
…or what is the difference between your unless and my unless?
I am looking at the article about my way of accepting new clients or not, and I am going to ask the question you don’t think to ask, or have asked and already answered wrong.
Listen up, this is tricky and subtle… you may miss it!
- I say: unless you meet in my criteria: (I like you, you are an interesting person to talk you, and your vibration is high enough) I won’t accept you as a client. Why? because I probably can’t help you, no matter what I do.
- You say: I like you but I can’t stand the way you talk, or how you make me feel… or whatever you say is wrong with them.
What is the difference?
I say what I say BEFORE the act, I use my criteria as a filter. If and when I make a mistake I don’t complain.
It is MY mistake, and not theirs. I don’t assign them the responsibility to make me happy or feel good.
You do.
During the years of my menopause I had a really hard time dealing with hot and humid weather. I complained and complained and complained. I hated the weather. And I hated that I had to SUFFER.
Then in a moment of clarity I saw the underlying dynamic. It came in a question: If you don’t like it, why don’t you move to somewhere where it is not muggy and not hot? Wow, I was floored. I never considered taking responsibility for where I live… choosing what would work for me.
Since that time I may have commented on the weather in really hot moments, but I never actually complained about the weather.
I live in a town where people talk about two things only: the weather and sports. I don’t want to talk to anyone, which is a good thing: it keeps the creative tension on for me.
The creative tension in me: setting the rules of my game; I am 100% responsible. I am 100% accountable for my own happiness. It is up to me having set the right rules for me, and then take 100% responsibility if and when I make a mistake.
So today I rarely complain. Complaining is a passive aggressive behavior,
- totally ineffective if what you want to accomplish is change.
- Totally effective if you want to be miserable AND make the people around you miserable.
Let’s talk about some other ways this, whatever we should call it phenomenon, may show up.
Healing: Occasionally a person becomes incurable while they are a customer.
How did it happen? am I not responsible for their health and well-being while they are around me?
I never promised that. I cannot promise that.
Your health and well-being depends 100% on what you do and how you do it. Even during the time I am working on healing you.
One of the things you did, if you did it, is you would find out, frequently, how you are doing. Find out as early as you have some sense that something is happening.
It is either your racket is in control, or perchance, rarely, you.
If you don’t find out how you are doing, and most of you don’t… please understand that your racket is in control… Your racket wants you to be right about how something or someone was wrong, harmed you, did you wrong… and being right about that is easier and on the short term more rewarding that actually taking care of yourself.
Some pretend that they take care of themselves… but they don’t.
I have a customer who sends me pictures of her water with confusing questions, and then makes my answer to her UNPAID question wrong… so that she can be right. Right about everything.
If you do it once, it’s a mistake. You do it twice… I may consider it a mistake. You do it regularly: I remove you from my customer list and refund your purchases if I forgot to ban you from buying any of my stuff.
Why do I do that?
For me to be racket free I need to look at everything with a wider cone of vision.
If I interact with a racket of someone: their racket becomes my racket.
This, when I found out about it, was the biggest shock to me and my system. Whaat?
But if you look, if you voluntarily interact with someone who is run by a racket, you are going to find yourself in arguments, disagreements, disharmony. Disruptive… activating YOUR racket.
Most people marry another with a racket that keeps their racket firing full tilt boogie.
So your job, if you want to be happy, is to remove yourself from that person’s space… stop interacting.
If it’s your spouse, say ‘I’ll talk to you when you have calmed down‘ and leave the room, or the phone call.
And be willing for them to yell, be angry, curse you, or whatever they want to do…
I have a student in the Reframe Challenge whose every relationship ends in such a way. The other person removes themselves from the relationship…
And, of course, she feels devastated. Why? She has a devastated racket.
The name of the racket, more often than not, is having [the emotional outcome of the racket], plus the word ‘racket’.
So people can have a victim racket, an angry racket, a devastated racket, a poor me racket, a ‘I am right’ racket, an ‘I need to be rescued’ racket, an ‘I am dying’ racket. an ‘I am left’ racket.
Rackets are only interested in getting to that outcome, and not interested at all in you being healthy, wealthy, fulfilled, or happy.
That is YOUR job…
Unless you know your racket, you cannot get healthy, wealthy, fulfilled and happy.
The racket is all-compassing… and stronger than you.
The only way is to be smarter than the racket.
- 1. Catching the desire for the payoff… which is the trigger. If you catch the trigger early, the racket won’t go into its cycle.
- 2. Reframingé being able to see what’s happening from outside of your head. outside of your body. like another person would.
- 3. Speed is crucial. Accuracy is crucial.
If you are like a slow-poke, unaware, you’ll spend an inordinate amount of time handling the racket, while you let life pass you by.
So what can you catch?
- There are active triggers… meaning: violent, forceful, like pushing. And there are
- avoidance rackets… you pretend, you sweet-talk, you slink and slide and move out of the way.
You need to know your machine and its moves!
- Interestingly the forceful racketeers give up their relationship with me… or I remove them.
- The avoidance racketeers hang in there, because just being allowed to participate is proof that they are clever enough to avoid my detection. Not really… I just have more tolerance for their kinds of racket… Or more exactly: my racket has more tolerance…
Between you and me, unless you can manage your racket I can’t make a difference with you.
I can’t teach you, I can’t heal your illness.
And unless you start managing your racket, I won’t… I promise.
I used to run a ‘rescue me‘ racket… And that comes with a companion of ‘I am so grateful‘ racket. Some of you should recognize your racket here…
It showed up everywhere, but especially when it came to my body… I never understood why I was banned from certain clinics… Why female chiropractors yelled ‘I am not your mother!‘ one after the other.
Predictably.
But ultimately, I think, I wanted to make them wrong for not rescuing me… Like my mother didn’t.
I still feel the pull of getting into situations where I will need rescuing… It is still the racket… Strong and counter to life.
Nearly every decision I have ever made, you know life-direction decisions, was made by the racket… and took my life deeper and deeper into needing to be rescued.
This is, probably, how high potential people end up never amounting to anything much. By allowing their racket to make their decisions.
It seems to me that Trump, Elon Musk are primary examples of that.
I am still not certain that we’ll start a Racket Challenge, but spending time to get really really clear seems to be the solution.
Because the racket is a shape-shifter. It will show up differently every time, so recognizing it will be a challenge… and only if you have enough examples, and the DISTINCTION, will you be able to be confident that you’ll catch it most of the time.
I learned about the racket in 1988… So 35 years ago.
And it still manages to fool me… So don’t be overconfident. You’ll be paying with your life for it.
You have been thinking that knowing about things is like knowing them. But not so… How do you know what you know? Heard about it. Read about it. Watched someone do it.
Do you have first hand positive experience? No? That is what I thought.
Just like you won’t be a pole jumper by knowing about it, you won’t catch the racket, you won’t know what to do when you catch it by knowing about it.
So you need to spend time to train your awareness… not like all of you did with the color-exercise… ugh.
Want to know how this connects to the self-concern? 100%… The self-concern is often the trigger… But not always. You see, there are no rules… the racket is a shape-shifter.
Learn first about it, and then start learning IT.
Learn the racket as if your life depended on it… because it doesPS: One of the totally rackety behavior I have noticed is this:
The healing energy I use to heal eventually incurable conditions is the same as the one I have in the Big Bundle, which I sell.
A few years ago my health number was 3, which is a good indication that I was dying. My heart was shot. My veins were packed with gook. I was dizzy, plagued with Vertigo, always in danger of falling.
Also, I didn’t have enough energy to do the healing on myself… so I used the big bundle… as much as I could. I taped a mono earbud to my ears, and kept the player plugged in all night. For months. And I pulled through, and got my health number back up to seven.
How many people followed my suit? none that I know.
Why? Because nothing that takes longer than a minute is attractive to the eight billion…
If I offered one-on-one distant healing, where the client needs to be present, I would have no clients… Because healing takes a long time. 10-20-50 or maybe even more sessions.
And your relationship to everything is the same: if it takes time, if it takes repetition, you are not interested.
That is why the human species hasn’t evolve to the level its DNA promises… except maybe a thousand people… Sigh.
