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Or how to set the context to alter the story and therefore alter your actions?
Whether you know it or not, your relationship to life is stiff, inflexible, and therefore ineffective.
You look at things, always, from the same exact perspective, and therefore you see, always, the same old, same old life: good or bad, the same.
The Sideways Method
I have taught you previously a move, that can transform your reality, the sideways view.
Transformation simply means that from one moment to the other, what you see changes.
Your actions are ALWAYS consistent with what you see, not with your beliefs, not with your thoughts, not with reality, but what you see.
And what you see is what we call in this work ‘occurrence’. Occurrence has a little bit of ‘what happened, what is happening’ in it and a lot of ‘what you say about it’.
Depending on your level of arrogance, you are effective or ineffective in life.
Arrogance in this context is considering your opinion, your commentary, your meaning, and therefore the occurrence the same as reality.
Occurrence is often called ‘your personal reality’… which is a misnomer: it is not reality at all.
Arrogance calls things wrong or right, nice or nasty, enough or not enough, missing, etc. All things that do NOT exist in reality.
Arrogance is what calls something a threat.
When you see threat, you respond accordingly. You attack. Or argue. Or justify. You never consider that you are fighting windmills…
So Transformation’s job is to alter what you see. To alter what you say about things so you can be more effective in life.
But how do you alter what you see? If what you see is what gives you the attitude and the action then we need to learn how to change, how to alter what we see so we can have an attitude and take actions that makes us more effective in life.
The two ways I teach to change what you see are
Looking from a sideways view, so what you see is different. And what you SAY is different.
Change the backdrop against which things happen. Backdrop is context. When you change the context, the MEANING of what you see changes.
Let’s say that you feel that you are threatened… something or someone is threatening your life.
If you manage to look at the situation from the sideways, you just removed yourself from the line of attack, and can take appropriate actions… like see that in fact someone is just talking. And that maybe they are afraid. Or they are angry, frustrated, but your life isn’t in danger.
Let’s say you are in a situation where someone is smiling at you, and does everything to make you feel loved.
If you manage to look at the situation from the side, pull yourself out of the emotional influence, you may be able to see that you are manipulated, and the other person is trying to get you to give him something.
You can see stuff from the side that you cannot see when you are in the picture. Why? Because threat, manipulation distorts your view. You already KNOW what is happening, what WILL happen… even though it may not be so.
This is especially useful for you if you consider yourself abused, a victim. I used to feel like a victim… a victim of abuse, and acted it out, until I learned this sideways view method… That has set me free.
Changing the Context
I have shared with you the tennis ball demonstration and the clumsy Ph.D. but here you go again:
The speaker on the stage asks for a volunteer for an experiment. The volunteer needs to be clumsy. I have experienced this exercise myself, but I’ll use another person so you don’t think it is only MY experience.
A woman raises her hand. She is invited to the stage.
The speaker throws her an easy throw of a tennis ball. She flails and misses the ball. She goes to the corner of the auditorium, picks up the ball, and throws it back to the speaker.
This goes on for a few minutes… predictably the woman drops the ball, goes to the corner to pick it up, and returns it to the speaker.
At this point the speaker suggests a new game.
He say: in this new game you don’t need to catch the ball. Your job is to watch which direction the ball is spinning.
OK, the woman nods, it is easy enough, her eyesight is good.
The speaker throws a spinning ball. The woman lets it drop, and shows with her arms and hands which way the ball was spinning.
After a few of these, as the ball comes at her, she reaches out with one hand, catches the ball, throws it back, and shows with her hands and arms which way the ball was spinning.
The audience is holding their breath… The woman is unaware of the change… She is involved in the game. She never notices that she is now catching the ball, the clumsiness is all gone.
What happened? You see, when it is about catching the ball, she was historically clumsy. But when it comes to her eyesight, she is near genius… and who is now doing the exercise is that person who can… And it carries over to every area of her life.
But does it work really?
This is what makes recently engaged women so agreeable… They smile, the food tastes better, they sleep better, everything and everyone looks beautiful…
Who they are for themselves is dramatically different: they are now the one, the chosen one.
It will be temporary. After a while they will take it for granted, and the gratitude and thus the happiness will go away. And everything goes back to being ugly again.
Let me illustrate again this method in another way: The ‘coaching’ method
You are in the thick of an issue, and you can’t see your way out of it, or you cannot decide… etc. because you are too close to the issue, and it is too personal.
You feel that if you make any move, you may get hurt, get things wrong, hurt another person.
In the ‘coaching method’ you ask yourself the question: ‘If this were someone else’s issue, what would I suggest that they do?‘
It helps to imagine a real person with the same problem. I often use my little brother as the imaginary person, because I have advised him before and he listened… Family members are not very prone to listen, lol.
The moment you take yourself out of the current situation by asking that question, you alter the context of the issue.
It was a survival issue before. Now, suddenly, it becomes someone else’s issue, and you are always more intelligent when it is someone else’s issue.
Just look at chess tables in parks. The people surrounding the table watching, are always brilliant, at least they feel that way. The moment they are sitting at the table playing, all the decisions become a question of life or death, win or lose.
A third method: Asking questions
Another method you can add to the above is asking questions that when you are in the middle of stuff you don’t think to ask.
Digging questions… digging for reality.
For example, in a conversation yesterday, I found that the person I was talking to had no skills, no time, no ambition to DO what they decided to do, they just wanted the results.
The questions that lead to this conclusion were:
Do you know how to do it?
Do you have time to do it?
Would you enjoy doing it?
All three answers were a no.
You can ask these questions of yourself… of course.
Questions also serve another purpose: they move your fixated glance with which you look at things. It makes the eyes move, so you get unstuck.
As you look at different aspects of what’s in front of you, you release the emotional fixation, and can become more intelligent.
When I run into a technical problem on my sites, I always stand up and do something else, or move to something else. When I return to the original problem, I always find that I misread the instructions, misread the error message, misunderstood something, or didn’t see something. Fixed glance… it is a common problem, we all need to deal with it, effectively.
Almost any question that makes your eyes move will work. All stuckedness is in the eyes… so just by moving the eyes, and actually looking at something else, directing your attention to something else, or looking at the background instead, you can unstuck yourself.
A fourth method: Changing your cone of vision
Cone of vision is a number: the degree of an imaginary cone (funnel) that corresponds to how much of what’s in front of you shows up sharp and in color in your view.
When you are afraid, your cone of vision gets automatically narrower.
Of course, when you make something wrong: your cone of vision gets narrower.
When you have a problem, your cone of vision gets narrower.
When you feel good, when you feel free, you feel free to look at the world with a wide cone of vision.
It takes practice to flash out your cone of vision. All the electronics we use have been training us to not do that. So I practice, several times a day. I always experience a drop in the tension: suddenly even my body, the emotions, the problems start to feel like just a little dot in the big universe: no big deal.
When that ‘no big deal’ is achieved, you are about twice as intelligent as before…
The energy that is the most effective in this arena is the Avatar State energy: it doesn’t allow you to be fixated in the puny concerns that give you your life experience.
The Harmonizer is brilliant at it. When the going gets tough, financially, business-wise, computer errors, I always turn that audio on to help me unstuck from my misery… lol
I don’t even have to consciously hear it: it is not the sound but the energy embedded in the sound that is doing it.
Warning: don’t listen to the recording closely: it will scramble your brain. Just play it in the background.
If in addition to the base function of an Avatar State audio, you’d like to get better at something, you can buy versions of the audio, like the Self-discipline Activator.
Get your Avatar State ActivatorPick one of the methods and practice it until you get good at it. It won’t be instant… NOTHING is instant in the Universe… everything is a process.
Depending on where you are on your climb on the Tree of Life, you’ll be attracted to a different method of transformation.
My favorite is the sideways method.
For example last night I could not fall asleep. I found myself afraid for my life.
And I felt stuck… staring at the ceiling, afraid to close my eyes.
So I took a sideways glance and laughed… I am 75 years old… afraid like a little kid.
I could now relax and fall gently asleep.
