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Some shoulds are imposed by other people, government, etc.
Other shoulds are self-imposed.
I am Johnny-come-lately in that I couldn’t, didn’t see any shoulds, but now I’ve caught a few yesterday, and I caught a few today.
- I should always look before I leap… lol. Especially when it comes to Freecell…
- I should empty the dishwasher. This came on the shoulders of actually yesterday emptying and loading the thing… and now I have clean dishes and utensils.
So this morning as I was preparing my tea, I saw that I could just stand there, or empty the dishwasher. Hm. And I emptied it about 80%… Didn’t do the 20%, the distaste for the activity took over.
- I should just swallow my distaste, and do this report now…
OK, that was it… more than I saw yesterday.
Now, what seeing your shoulds have to do with the price of tea in China, or with your happiness?
I say EVERYTHING.
You see, if in your world everyone consider that it is their right to tell you what to do, and they are all stupid and the enemy, then of course you cannot possibly be happy.
If you remember, every person’s relationship to life is the worldview:
- I want the world to be the way I want the world to be, not the way it is.
- I want to be the way I want to be, not the way I am.
And, of course that worldview creates the shoulds… and… and… you are hosed. Unless, of course, you become aware of what you are forcing down your throat. Unless you get that your shoulds make you unhappy, unproductive, and stiff as an ironing board. Brittle. Inflexible.
It’s like you are poking your eyes out, hoping then you’ll see more.
And an interesting thing happens: you start judging yourself by your shoulds. If I have all these shoulds, then I am a good person.
Maybe.
Your shoulds are your standards and ideals. You have never thought them through. They are unrealistic. And moreover, the more shoulds you have the lower is your integrity.
Because your shoulds are an indication that you are not living up to your standards and ideals, that you are full of sh!t, pardon my coarseness.
But what may happen when you discover… it takes time!… that your shoulds are YOUR shoulds, and you can continue shoulding on yourself, or you can stop…
Your shoulding on yourself hasn’t make a difference, has it? Did you OBEY your shoulds? My muscletest says, maybe 1% of the time. Not more.
So even the best, noblest, highest minded shoulds aren’t obeyed…
But every single should makes you feel worse about yourself.
- More and more hemmed in, and less and less able to feel free to be yourself. Hear this my Romanian princess?
It is YOU who created the no room to be free to be yourself… not something or someone. You with your darn shoulds.
You call them right and you call them wrong, but that is just your quirk… what they are are shoulds.
- Or my Utah princess who is going berserk trying to fight shadows, instead of allowing reality to be what reality is. Allow the world to be the way the world is. Allow herself to be the way she is.
I am sure everyone has a should about me.
That I should do what I do for you, using up my energy, my resources, my everything and be happy with the meager payment you gave me… those that have paid me.
But I have interesting news for you:
Desire to receive for the sake of sharing is allowing me to not use my own resources, other than my time. I am using the light of the Creator. I call it down, and it HAS TO GO THROUGH ME.
It is not like I am redirecting it, the way I have seen on some pictures. Some dude redirecting lightning.
No. The lightning has to go through me.
So in working feverishly to get ahead the devastating disease in a client, I have been, unwittingly, unintentionally healing myself. I mean the light is… the energy is. Not for me…
And that is how desire to receive for the sake of sharing works.
What this has to do with shoulds? I don’t know and I don’t care.
But my hunch is that as long as your shoulds run your life, all your shoulds, you are all about yourself, and are not open to get anything you don’t ‘should’…
You are not getting sustenance from the Light… and withering away.
But why would you be so hellbent on your shoulds?
My guess is that one of your shoulds is that you should listen only to yourself. At least that is what my podcast partner says and does.
Which boggles the mind. Why? Because if you KNEW what you say you should know, then you wouldn’t have come to me, would you? You would be where you want to be already. And one thing I know about every single visitor to my site: they are not where they would like to be.
You are where your ‘knowing’ got you. They are where their ‘knowing’ got them.
And yet, they stubbornly refuse to take any different knowing, as if I were their rapist, their killer, their mother, their jailer.
So they are stuck where their ‘knowing’ got them… and stuck is stuck.
This methodology of shedding light to the shoulds can change all that.
I am not saying it would.
Your level of trust, your level of rigidity will be an important factor in that.
So far 20% of the participants in the Reality Challenge have seen the freedom that has increased from owning that the shoulds are self-imposed. The rest? They are still wallowing in ignorant self-pity.
Is it worth doing this for only 20% chance that it will free you up to become a happy, healthy person who loves their life the way it is, and live it powerfully?
You decide.
Shoulds or reality: chooseToday I noticed that somehow, unbeknownst to me, I must have a should, something like ‘I should be perfect‘ or some other happy horseshit, because I had this very familiar feeling starting at my stomach and quickly going towards my chest huge FEAR… I normally experience it from clients, but I experienced now myself.
Perfection… yeah, I should be. lol. How funny is that?
PPS: If you think you can get out of a situation just because you don’t want to be there… I have a Montana beach front property to sell you. If you are sick, then be sick. And let a healer, a doctor, rest, whatever to heal you. Please…
