Talk a good talk? Know what’s the right thing? You doing it?

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Valentine’s day is another ‘should’ we have been resistant to…

If you pay attention, Big Brother is even more vigilant than your mother was… or your god supposedly is. Every single moment of yours is ‘structured’ by this Big Brother…

• You should love on Valentine’s day (what about the 364 other days?), so you pretend to love
• you should be grateful on Thanksgiving day, so you pretend to be grateful.
• and so on and so forth.No choice. No authenticity. All pretense

Resisting a should, a knee jerk reaction of ‘no’ is not a choice. ‘F…’ that is not a choice. ‘I don’t want to’ is not a choice.

Choice is selecting, freely, after consideration… that is what choice is.

Most people have never chosen anything. Someone else, or something else chose for them.

In my case it was my mother, the live-in help, who were relentless in telling me what to do. And they destroyed my desire to do anything they told me, including housework. Cleaning, laundry, the dishes.

Anything that was a should in my childhood: today I don’t want to do it. I haven’t been choosing not to do it. No. I have been forcefully resisting it. Still. 50 years after moving out of my parents’ home.

I even resist brushing my teach, or taking a shower. Or chewing my food. Or wearing clean clothes. Even wearing nice clothes.

I realized this yesterday. I noticed the resistance, the should about the laundry. And as soon as I noticed it I could look what would become possible FOR ME if I actually did the laundry. And as an unexpected result I actually did the laundry that was already sitting in the washing machine. Yesterday. I have a hunch that I’ll need to get present to my resistance again, if I want to do even just another load…

For many of you I am the mother, the father, the church… that you’ll resist.

One of my client’s father said to her: run faster, not only fast enough to look like a winner. She has been doing exactly the opposite of that for 50 years…

OK, I am going to look and test if all my resistance could be eliminated more than just temporarily… But I don’t think so.

I noticed another task I resisted. I HATE, lol, fulfilling remedy orders. Hell, I feel it is an imposition.

I am cracking up laughing as I am writing this, because it is RIDICULOUS. But it is what it is. I don’t want to do it… But I had printed the label, and the customer is waiting for her Heaven on Earth… Darn.

So I filled one bottle, because one was ordered. I saw that that was the maximum I was willing to do, given the ungodly resistance in my body… But the moment I saw the resistance, the moment I saw this as a should and an unwillingness: it seems that without my intervention something let go, and I just filled two more of the little bottles. But a pitcher worth of remedy is still sitting there, waiting for me to fill little bottles. And the resistance is back full force.

OMG… humans are really weird, aren’t they? Really weird.

When I don’t resist that I resist, when I don’t make it wrong, it is hilarious, and I laugh. When I resist it: it is painful.

I hear that non-laugh laugh when I point something out about a client on a call. It is the sound of non-resistance while they resist it. I laugh, they pretend to laugh. It is not funny for them. It cannot become funny while you are resisting it. While it means something about you. While it means that something you say is wrong.

There are two kinds of clients: willing and unwilling.

Of course it is on a scale… not an all-or-nothing.

I have noticed that when someone wants to be right, they want to be the only right person while everyone else is wrong. When you want to be right you are unwilling to allow anything, including that you may not be right.

I can ‘read’ that person’s minds, and they call me ‘the b.i.t.c.h.’.

Whatever I recommend, ask, or demand that they do, they will NOT do, or pretend to do, begrudgingly.

I go back in history and look at 10 years worth of clients.

One ‘ex’ client has joyfully sabotaged herself, so she can remain ‘right’. She has the means, the opportunity to be well, to have high cell hydration… but she won’t drink the darn water…

I am ‘happy’ for her. She is getting what she wanted: being right. Dead right.

And she is quite typical. If you are a client or have been a client, if you look at yourself, you did the same thing: heard what I said and said: f… her, I’ll do it my way.

They consider me the b.i.t.c.h. Not a person. Not the maven I am or my decades of experience. They consider me someone who is just like them. A thing.

People who think they have unlimited access to me. Why? Because they bought something. And that bought them the right to send me pages upon pages of questions, or reports. But why? Why would they do that?

The answer is that they devalue me and my services, my time, what I can give them.

Moreover, they don’t think of me as a person, just like they don’t think of themselves as a person.

Using Kant’s words again: they don’t have that categorical imperative for themselves to treat another person as an end unto themselves rather than as a means to their own end. They paid me, like a rent, and now they’ll use me to their own end. Like a tool, like a d.i.l.d.o.

That is what that ‘b.i.t.c.h.’ means…

It means that I am that THING and they want from that THING what they want, mostly to be right… while make sure that nothing I say, nothing they paid for will work, because that would make them wrong… Retrospectively.

Or because judging me makes them feel right?

Muscletest says ‘yes’.

Would I be able to screen them before I accept them? Muscletest says ‘yes’ again.

The new measure is not in my Starting Point Measurements yet.

I don’t know the question yet.

But I have asked and it will be given. I asked for a filtering question.

PS: I got the answer to my request. The measure is: to what degree someone trusts. Trusts me, trust another… but especially me.

So I just got off a consulting call with a dude whose trust level tested 1%.

In the call he considered that at best I know a little more than him. That our level of knowledge is the same… so he considered, me in his league… ignorant like himself.

The more someone knows ACCURATELY the more they are able to trust…

Most people are ignorant.

Now, suddenly, after 12 years of struggling, I understand what is wrong with my business… I bring my 100%. But people’s filter is set to see the same level where they are at… averaging around 3%… Ugh.

But better late than never…

PS: All powerful tools are dangerous when wielded by fools

First off: what is a fool? Who is a fool?

You are a fool if knowing is more important to you than learning.

You’ll say: I know. See how smart I am?

Was Don Quixote a fool?

I think everyone who is putting the cart in front of the horses is a fool.

Don Quixote was a fool because he didn’t look in reality. He lived out his whole adventure in his imagination. And even though it was ‘beautiful’ in the mind, it was nonsensical in reality.

I have some clients who consider the names of distinctions the distinctions themselves. And they wield the words as weapons… to prove that they know.

They talk about rackets, (a nasty machine we all live in as if they knew what they are talking about. No experience, no learning, no seeing, just the word. Racket. Does saying that word do anything to the machine? It doesn’t. The machine doesn’t care about what you say, only about what you DO.

So if you use the names of the powerful tools I offer, but not spend any time, any energy to learn what they do, you are a fool.

You are a danger is to yourself.

You slash slash slash, and you think you are safe.

But more often than not, if this is what you do, pretend to know without learning, without seeing, your pretense, your inauthenticity grows, and with it the space in which opportunistic diseases can safely grow, faster than I can heal you.

Watch the part in the movie Trading Places where the character played by Eddie Murphy in the lockup.

Yeah, it is easy to learn the terms, and use the words  look good, sound good.

But it gets you the big reward The Big C instead of what you wanted.

The faster you say ‘I know’ or ‘I understand’ the bigger fool you are.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar View all posts by Sophie Benshitta Maven