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I have been wondering if I could tell if a person can be trained or not. What would I see that would tell me yes or no?
I watched a little Grantchester on Amazon Prime yesterday. In one of those episodes the vicar gets laid. His pal almost instantly knows.
A few years ago I saw a woman come out of the hotel elevator in Las Vegas. To me she looked like she had always looked, but a man in our group instantly knew she just got laid.
I verified it with her… But how did he know?
Both men, the man in Grantchester and in Las Vegas saw something. They had some distinction that I don’t… But it is possible that I could.
And I could learn where to look, how look, so I can tell a person: ‘don’t waste your time, buddy… You won’t get it.‘
Then, as it is always due to happen, I got an email from a participant in the Reality Challenge.
There, in the challenge, we do one thing only: we notice and record the little voice saying should and shouldn’t.
One participant, Miko, is doing something more: he implemented something from my article on the 2nd where I teach that unless you work on creating a vision of a future. A future that your activity can and could create for you, you won’t do the activity. The work.
To see what an activity can do for you, I say, you create a little ritual where you sit with our eyes closed and ask your brain to answer a question: ‘what would happen if I implemented this?‘ or something to that end…
Of course you have to have the capacity ‘foresight‘ for you to see it… in reality.
He writes:
I caught this should
-I should already know
What could life be like if I didn’t have this last ‘should’? it could be a fascinating adventure, full of discovery… and potentially sustained progress, eventual achievement.
Today, in preparation for Tuesday’s class (and life!) I listened to an hour long segment of one of the Freedom webinars (I was in) on the racket. I got at least two things.
First, that on the call I was saying the words about what it’s costing me to run the racket but I didn’t really SEE that all those things (self-love, affection, success, aliveness, etc.) are actually possible, that I could have them in my life and I’m missing out on them, like an opportunity cost… So even in that very conversation I was probably run by ‘I should already know’. But like you said in a recent article, you won’t go for it if you don’t have a vision, if you don’t think it’s possible in the first place. And for the longest time I haven’t.
And that email gave me the next piece that was missing for me to be able to see who will and who won’t.
When I look at myself, I have NEVER had this should. The little voice never said in my head ‘I should already know this, see this, have this‘.
So when I didn’t see what result an activity would give me, emotional, spiritual, physical, mental, I said simply ‘I don’t see that‘. (For example I have never been able to see that I would be loved…)
I didn’t lie. You do.
You see when someone has a ‘I should already know that‘ they are lying. They didn’t do the work to know that. Either they didn’t do any work, or did not do enough work, or did work but not the right work. So they should NOT know that, given that knowledge, all knowledge takes work to acquire… no knowledge sticks to you like dirt.
So that is the test.
- If a person can describe that result, that future, and I can hear that they SEE it, then they can be trained. Why? Because that vision will give them enough incentive to do the work.
- If they can’t see it then they can start doing the vision meditation… or go home.
Now, if you are someone with that lying ‘I should already know that‘ inner voice, have some conversations with that inner voice.
It’s your soul and its arrogance talking. It’s a racket costing you everything you have ever wanted.
Moreover, it’s the 3-year old who says, to everything anyone tells him: ‘I already know that.‘
We seem to live in a world where people say that… but they are all lying.
Humility is the key.
Being humble means you are willing to say: maybe I don’t know that. Maybe I shouldn’t know that. Maybe I need to learn that. And then cry if you must, because learning is work, sometimes it is hard work, unpleasant work, but anyone who knows anything worked for it.
Oh, maybe your gurus didn’t. But they also don’t know. They parrot Tree of Knowledge bs and if you are impressed by that, maybe you shouldn’t be here.
Anyway, even the smallest things cannot be learned without enough humility to allow you to do the work.
Every soul correction is arrogant. Arrogant is the voice that says: ‘you should already know that‘.
So if your results in life are less than you hoped for, my guess is that it was arrogance that prevented you from achieving what you wanted.
That same arrogance also makes you feel like the world should work the ways you want it to work. And everything different is an offence to your sensibilities.
After all you are the center of the Universe, and your word should be law.
The same client who wrote the above email also said this, yesterday:
I am not sure how to call it, but when the energy between us is moving – it’s a beautiful feeling.
I am adding it to my vision of what life could be like, what’s possible with this work.
Thank you. xoxo
And just this moment an email came in from someone who I asked one thing of: learn to cook… She writes:
When I looked at what would be possible if I really learned to cook, I saw that (given the complexity of this learning experience,) I could do almost anything. If I were able to play and build with the ingredients that I have, then a whole new world would open up for me.
I saw myself being in some kind of flow and process that could take me to mastering something and if I did that, then I could do it in other areas as well…
Yeah. And that is the answer to my question:
if someone can SEE what is possible, then they will be willing to put in the work, even though it is hard, and it is endless.
There is no place to get to. There is no ‘once I am there I’ll be happy‘ b.s.
If you are not happy doing the work, you’ll never be happy. If you are not happy during the journey, getting anywhere won’t make you happy.
Hate me if you want.
PS:
Here is an example of the culture that doesn’t assume that you can know something after reading it, once, twice, even a hundred times.
In a Jewish philosophy class we sat with one sentence from the Bible for three hours. The sentence where the messenger, the traveler, tells Abram that Sara will give birth… and Sara laughs.
For you there would be nothing to think about in that sentence… and therefore you would be left with words, but no depth, no knowledge.
We, in that class, worked for three hours to get the knowledge.
In that ‘other’ culture people don’t customarily have ‘I should already know’. Maybe that is the only secret to their worldly success.
Hate me if you want.
PPS: I found this in an article about Adam Driver and the Star Wars reboot… I have no idea about either, but this quote is exactly what you need to see:
Kylo Ren feels like he hasn’t arrived. Even as he becomes supreme leader, he is wanting. It’s like anyone you know who thinks that, when he arrives where he’s going, he will feel fulfilled. For Kylo, the hole only gets bigger.
