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My article teaching the strategy of getting out of a deep ditch hit the spot for some people.
Here is one answer I got:
My assertion is that in the original incident she said: ‘I am worthless, that’s why my parents don’t like me…‘
And then she started to effort, do things, dream about becoming liked. Not be treated as worthless.
And from that it is clear that worthless was in the hands of other people to grant to her.
There is a distinction of an attitude that is largely misunderstood.
What you chase runs from you, what you run from chases you. It is not a principle, but it’s close.
In the case of a person who says they are worthless and want to be liked, what they chase is being liked. But what is chasing them is worthlessness.
The result: nothing changes inside where it matters.
There is a solution… but…
They, the positive thinking, attraction people teach it in a bastardized way.
There, instead of it being a distinction, it is a move.
The distinction is ‘coming from vs. going to‘.
They are translated by ‘those people’ to attraction and pursuit.
It is bastardized because of the poor understanding of a Kabbalistic principle.
Kabbalah, the word, means Receiving.
There are two kinds of receiving. Only the intention is different.
- receiving for yourself alone and
- receiving for the sake of sharing.
THAT is this distinction
- It is what made the famous JFK speech work… the one he said we’ll put a man on the moon by the end of the decade.
- It is what makes billionaires billionaires.
- And it is what Elon Musk has proven the he didn’t know so he wasn’t when it came to Twitter.
- It is what Jeff Bezos knew but the new management of Amazon doesn’t.
And that disappointing story repeats. You can look at Marvel. At Disney. At many many many suddenly failing enterprises.
How that distinction translates to real world experience?
Desire to receive for the sake of sharing is: your vision of riches includes your employees’ experience, your customers’ experience. When you come from desire to receive for the sake of sharing then you can have what your riches can give you, inner riches.
And if your vision doesn’t include their experience, when you desire to receive for the self alone, then you can get the outer riches, but not the inner.
Desire to receive for the self alone is coming from a need, coming from a gaping hole within, and you are in pursuit… desperately. So you are, with regards to what you want, in GOING TO mode…
When you desire for the self alone, you are coming from the emptiness and you get more of it. You are in essence ‘going to’.
When we filter this through Hillel’s ditty..
If I am not for me, who is for me?
If I am only for myself, who am I?
And… If not now, when?
Or the ‘Golden Rule’ of Jones of Toledo: ‘What I want for myself, I want for everybody.’
So how do you do it? How do you cause yourself to ‘desire for the sake of sharing’?
In my call with Bonnie in our Friday Podcast call, I used the example of training your staff.
Wanting for them what you want for yourself is making sure that what you want for you translates to, gets them what they want.
You want your company to work like a smooth machine, where everyone knows what their job is, and they do it well, and without complaint. Where you all present a coherent front to customers. A shared front, a shared vision of the company itself, so no employee will feel like your product is worthless, that you charge too much, as it happens in many companies. I read Reddit.com daily, and they do it there abundantly.
You may want others to care about you and about your business…
…and you have a losing battle: you are going for what is irrelevant, because caring is not even possible.
Homo sapiens has caring as a zero sum game. It is either you OR me. That is where humanity lives… nothing wrong with that.
Others don’t care about you and you don’t care about them. But that doesn’t mean you cannot have a shared purpose where everyone gets what they wanted?
This is the crucial stumbling block of your worldview.
If you think they need to care, then you’ll pretend to care, you’ll waste your energy there… instead of where that energy would pay off: finding out what THEY want.
Try to put in here, try to replace the ‘they‘ in your imagination with the person/group you are trying to enroll to be on the same side as you?
Your spouse. Your children. Not so obviously Your teacher or your boss. Your clients. Even google… if you are in business. (Remember my article asking: who are your customers?)
Do you know what they want? I bet that you don’t. I know you don’t care. You don’t NEED TO care, you need to know and be OK with them getting what they want.
You may not need to ask them. Maybe they themselves don’t know what they want. But they want what everybody wants… unless they are evil…
Evil is when someone wants what they want at your expense. When someone wants what is yours. When someone is unwilling for you to have anything at all.
Only 7% of all humans have that disposition. You need to learn to recognize the signs… In your spouse, in your children, in your co-workers, in your politician.
It’s hardest to recognize the signs if you think of yourself as a good guy.
So unless they are evil, pure evil, what they want is
- health,
- decent money for their work, and
- fulfillment.
- To feel proud of what they do.
- And to feel good about themselves.
They want exactly what YOU want, isn’t it? Unless, of course, if YOU are evil. Pure evil.
So you need to come from that… that what you do, the training, the business, the everything is to provide them with the tools so they can have health, decent money for their work, and fulfillment. So if they do what you ask them to do, that is what they will gain… while you gain the same.
Pure desire to receive for the sake of sharing.
You and your business are a channel, and you and the business, and its employees and customers all get what they want.
Apple at the time of Steve Jobs, and maybe even today.
Microsoft…
Amazon…
Walmart.
I have read about all of them, and the ‘culture’, at least from the top down, was that… even if some middle managers didn’t get the memo. So the culture didn’t always filter down to every level of the business…
Several of the steps of the 67 steps coaching is about Sam Walton. When you listen to it, it will not have this embedded: the speaker doesn’t consciously know about this distinction… but unconsciously it is there, 30%.
But here is probably the most important little piece that unless I tell you you’ll go astray:
They don’t pretend that they care about you.
The ones that pretend are doing it because they don’t know that pretending anything is the wrong focus. And that wrong focus gives them the wrong words, words that don’t inspire.
Because if I had to choose between health, getting paid for my work, and feeling good about myself, and being cared about: I would NEVER choose being cared about.
Why? because I want what I want… and being cared about may be nice, but won’t help me in any way to get what I want.
And I know this sounds very counter-intuitive, counter-cultural, but I can’t do what would get you want you want if I am pretending to care about you.
Just like a surgeon cannot perform a good surgery on their spouse or on their mother… caring makes their hands shake, and their judgment off.
Because the caring that is available on the level of homo sapiens is a zero sum game: I either care about you or I care about anything or anyone else.
- Love is available as a capacity: I want for you what you want for yourself, at 540 vibration.
- Caring is available only at 700…
When you activate ‘desire to receive for the sake of sharing’ in your business, in your family, in your friendships, you actually activate the level of caring, without having to do all the work to raise your vibration to that level.
The attitude will come from pure selfishness. ‘You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want.‘ That is desire to receive for the sake of sharing…
You get what you want AND they get what they want.
And that is the difference between ‘coming from’ and ‘going to’.
You need to be willing to share…
It MAY feel to you as if I asked you to share your pizza. To give it away.
But that tells me that you live like an object in a world of objects… That fear is consistent with the horizontal plane, scarcity. Either you or me.
But in the world of energy, energy is limitless. The more you give the more you have.
The biggest step in rising on the level of consciousness is allowing the object universe to fall away.
It is the biggest step. If things are not working, if no matter what you do you end up where you started, that is the issue, your object consciousness.
Object consciousness has its rules… and getting out of its orbit is much like getting out of the orbit of the Earth.
Had Bonnie paid for her sessions, she would have paid more than 25 thousand dollars…
She paid with allowing me to use our calls as a podcast. And she paid with having to be prepared to do some work between her sessions so she doesn’t look like a dork.
Don’t discount that as a motivator. And, of course, she did some of my courses, Integrity, Freedom, The switches… maybe more. I can’t remember. So she has some tools beyond what I can give in a one-one-one coaching.
It’s taken her 21 months to finally, at least for the moment, leave the orbit of ‘living as an object in a world of objects‘ horizontal plane.
Find your motivator, the anticipated pain that is like a kick in the butt, and use it. Be self-managing in that regard.
Not wanting to look like a dork, not wanting to look stupid is a powerful motivator for some. Unless your whole life is about looking good… then you can’t use it, because you are in ‘going to’ mode…
OK, some of you will glean some benefit from this article, most of you won’t.
So what should you do?
Here is something you won’t like. You need energy to do the work. Whaaat? Yeah.
- People’s number one way to leak energy is to be among people. Talking.
- Number 2: low cell hydration.
- Number 3: caring what anyone thinks of you: they don’t. This is where self-concern is hobbles you.
Get your profile done… and you’ll see what you can do first… For a limited time I’ll add your BACH energy profile ($40) to help you be sure what to start with… what is your main way you leak energy. How does a week sound… Until January 5, midnight EST.
Get your health and spiritual profiles
PS: Important about caring. Please read
People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care
What everyone thinks that that caring is caring for you, personally.
We confuse caring about a person, and caring about sharing.
I may not care about you as a person, but I care that you get what you want in life.
It is Christian dogma that confuses you. If I care about you, then I treat you the way I treat chocolate cake: I’ll eat you. How it feels to you, whether you got what you wanted don’t concern me.
Your Jesus didn’t care about you or his disciples personally. He cared about them getting what they wanted to have.
