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We used to think that if we invented ourselves as something great, we could be great.
In essence, that is what we thought Landmark Education was teaching, and maybe on some level they did.
The formula was ‘Invent a possibility for yourself and your life… so you would say: I am the possibility of being smart (whatever)…’
But what our ego heard is this is how to fix our puny, worthless self, and we either said ‘nah, can’t do it!’ or we got again entangled in the fixing cycle…
I have a couple of students who are disproportionately selfish.
So what would happen if they took on owning that they are selfish. If they took on the context, the self-image of ‘I am selfish’.
Are you expecting a surprise? You didn’t? You should have…
Here is what would happen: suddenly they would be selfish, but not entitled.
They would be selfish, but not slighted.
They would be selfish, as in ‘I want that!’ instead of making everyone wrong for not giving it to them.
You see, when you are trying to hide selfish, you put the blame on the environment… and start to behave as if it were their fault… not yours, not your not doing what it takes, but theirs.
Here is another one… bed news/fix combo.
The guy said: you didn’t try hard enough… or that is how SHE remembers it.
What she made up as a fix is to be always the one who jumps in and get things done… without thinking, without a plan. Jumping into the pool without looking first if there is water in the pool or not.
Her entire history is a consequence of this behavior. Jumping into action without fully understanding the situation. Jumping in with answers, jumping in with fixes, jumping in with eagerness.
She took over her husband’s failing business. A business that had no liquid assets but owed millions to its suppliers.
You can see the jumping into the empty pool syndrome, can’t you?
She buys every product I put out. She never considers anything before she clicks the buy button.
Or: She listens to me as if I were god, takes notes, and never considers what I meant, what it means to her.
And, of course she has an answer before she even hears the question.
And the third example I’d like you to look at is this:
The bad news was that she may be bad… Or maybe she was bad. It got never clarified.
The fix: make everyone worse she isn’t that bad in comparison.
She has no skills, no accomplishments, nothing to be proud of. But in comparison she is better… So of course she became a counselor, a career advisor.
So she can do officially what her fix is: smarter than anyone. Be the one to tell everyone what to do.
While she is doing nothing, but especially she does nothing well.
In tomorrow’s workshop
In tomorrow’s workshop we’ll look at your situation and endeavor to find your seed level ‘bad news’ and see that you can own it.
The results will show up in unintentional behavior change. If behavior change comes from effort, you are not owning what owns you.
Unbeknownst to you an inner change happens, where you go from victim to perpetrator… because you are. And your results in life come from the perpetration… so they are not all they could be.
This is how it works in the invisible. If you are looking in the visible, trying to make things happen in the visible, then it didn’t work… you unearthed the seed before it could have germinated. Your ego won, but you lost.
If you would like to give it a shot, come to tomorrow’s workshop.
Schedule about 3 hours… we’ll stay until everyone’s issue gets handled.
Remove the fixit mechanism, so you can be yourself
