What is the psychological or ontological (being science or the science of being) underpinnings (basis, foundation) of unreasonable, irrational fear 1 we deal with all the time… it makes no sense, there is no real danger, and yet, just the idea of something floods your chest with burning fear. (From the pit of the stomach in a shape of inverted triangle, the other points being the shoulders.)
If you haven’t, please read my article on taking your power back, I am referring to that article, and without reading it first, it won’t make sense what you read. OK?
Let’s look at fear historically: the irrational fear, where you could not see the “enemy,” probably originates with the destructive volcano eruptions, the floods, the darkness, caused by close-flying celestial objects, comets.
The “fireworks” that were visible, the plasma burning (plasma and gases seem to be the bodies of comets, although their effects are magnetic, electrical, and heat as well, I am not an expert on comets, but there are a lot of books and articles about the subject) played out anthropomorphic scenarios, and interpretation of the shapes, as if human and animal shaped beings were battling it out in the sky.
Those “beings” were what humanity started to worship as gods: after all their life, their livelihood depended on their goodwill.
All kinds of theories were created what pleases and what angers the gods… but they were unpredictable. All kinds of astronomical observations could predict the return of major comets, but not all.
Life was unpredictable, and it was difficult to relax into living with a constant threat hanging over your head: you don’t know when it’s coming, you don’t know what it is, and you have no power over it.
Ultimately marketeers and politicians exploited this fear and created governments of the elite, and created churches of the middle-men who talked to the gods on your behalf, for a fee, of course.
This hasn’t changed, although talking about comets is not politically correct: no government and no church has been able to influence nature, including comets, floods, the weather, or the eruption of volcanoes.
Now, how does this relate to the fear you feel, the fear that makes you pass opportunities, that makes you live like a recluse, that make you not speak up? Cower, and live a life of quiet desperation?
This topic is relevant and timely for me, because when I ask myself if I should put another product on Amazon, my chest goes aflame and I can’t even connect to Source to muscletest the answer. Fear… strong fear.
how do you become someone who isn’t afraid
So, how do you become someone who isn’t afraid, or whose fear is rational and manageable? Great question, isn’t it?
This is a theory, and in a day or two (hopefully) I will let you know if it worked for me or not in overcoming this fear of yet another dream started and crushed by Amazon’s autocratic way of doing business. Or a new venue, ebay: am I willing to risk again?
I remember wrecking my first car a week after I bought it. I won an architectural competition to have the money for it: Hungary wasn’t a very rich country then, none of my colleagues had cars at the time.
Anyway, the accident was very jarring, very traumatic, and I was really shaken up. My therapist at the time advised me to start driving as soon as the car is repaired, because the longer I wait, the harder it will be to trust again.
Even just re-telling that story makes my chest go full of fear. Even my arms start to go numb: big fear. hm.
So, here is my theory to test if it indeed removes or at least weakens fear
Start with where you are. Find the incident you’d like to transform. It needs to be an incident where you felt violated, hurt, made wrong, where you failed, didn’t measure up, were laughed at, ridiculed, etc.
Work on taking full responsibility following the process I gave you in the previous post.
Don’t think it’s done until it is done… It may take days. It is not done until you can laugh at it.
It is not done until you can tell the story without any drama, without any pointing fingers, and IMPORTANT! you see all the details.
Some 20 years ago a friend did a session with me where he took me back to the incident when I was raped. I had to tell him the story forwards and backwards, every time seeing a little more detail, showing that my cone of vision got wider and more natural. It took six hours and I already started out near… so don’t expect it to transform too fast.
In the Advanced Course in Landmark Education, there is a similar exercise, where you write down the story, the tell and tell and tell and tell it to a listener. The exercise is not done until you see that it is ridiculous. Most people don’t get it done, because they cut it off at around 5-6 hours, and a significant story takes longer to transform itself to a farce.
But go for it.
If you can find a partner who is willing to listen to you, do it with them. If you need a partner, be willing to reciprocate the favor by listening to their story.
It is not a mutual coaching session, it is a true listening. If you listen right, the job of transformation gets done faster. Much faster.
So, my next step is to find people (you can do it with more than one person, just make sure that you don’t repeat the story the same way, that there is movement towards release!) to whom I can tell the story.
I probably will need to tell it a few times, it was really painful.
Let me know if you need me to connect you with someone to listen… Comment and I’ll get in touch with you.
Good luck to you and good luck to me. I really would like to become free again.
- irrational fear is irrational because the cause of fear isn’t present, the danger is not imminent and yet we are afraid as if the source of the fear were right there. Fear of failure, fear of ridicule, fear of public speaking, fear of death, fear of pain are all irrational fears.
