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How do you avoid feeling like a victim and take responsibility when clearly something was done to you?
Summary: Lifesaving method of taking back your power from anything or anyone, including yourself. It removes judgment, it removes blame, and returns you to living powerfully
I don’t have a lot of opportunities to practice this, but it is clearly needed. When I teach responsibility from the height of ‘I got this handled’ no one seems to be getting it.
So here is my opportunity to teach it from the trenches, as I am going through the struggle myself.
Here is what happened:
Two years ago I bought a course for three thousand dollars… teaching how to sell on Amazon. I bought it, I looked at it, and I didn’t feel up to it…
A few months ago I looked at the course again, and decided to attempt to use it…
I followed the teaching and I came up empty handed… and disgusted.
Then I had the bright idea to put my Heaven on Earth remedy up for sale… To my surprise after I renamed it Sleep Rescue Remedy, people started to buy, first a few, then a lot. I knew it worked, I used it and so did many people… and all the reports were showing that it worked.
The remedy is water, a little bit of alcohol, and all the Bach Energies I personally infuse in the bottles.
Every week the sales went up 10 percent… and I started to see dollar signs. I got excited. I was mentally spending the money. I was buying houses… travel, cars…
I got entangled in the desire trap… it made me excited. Maybe cocky… I felt superior.
Then I decided to add more of my remedies to my ‘product line’…
My optimism soared, and I added new specially crafted ‘designer’ remedies to my amazon store…
Then, I made a mistake: I somehow, inadvertently, exposed myself to other sellers who lurk in the amazon sellers forums… and I got attacked and then my products were reported to Amazon as offensive, bogus, whatever…
I never found out exactly what they said, but all my products were removed from Amazon and I had no recourse. Amazon is an equal opportunity site: you can sell if they allow you to. And equally, you can sell somewhere else, if they don’t… lol.
Anyway, I muscletested if I should hang in, or if I should just pull into my shell and lick my wounds… I had to muscletest it because the urge was so strong.
You can guess, the muscletest said: ‘fight on, fight on my brave soldier…’ lol.
But once burned, twice shy
I found myself hurting, and wanting to blame Amazon for my pain.
So, how do you not feel like a victim, even though you feel hurt? How do you pull your power back, so you can recover and ‘fight for another day?’
If you look at your life, you should ask this question, depending on your lifestyle, many times a day. People talk funny, rude, dismissive at you. People drive as if they didn’t care about you. The mail came late. The Fedex driver left the package in the snow. Money feels scarce. Sophie calls you on your ‘sh!t’
Our first instinct is to blame it on them!- The second instinct is to make ourselves wrong: I was wrong to do this, blah blah blah.
- And the third instinct is to call the whole thing wrong… your life, life, the system, your desire, your ambitions, your marriage… everything.
Whatever/whoever you blame is now keeping your power, keeping your energy, keeping your life-force hostage.
You need your life-force, and I’ll show you how to take it back.
Don’t expect fireworks. It is really simple. I said simple, I didn’t say easy! It is not easy, but you can do it.
Step 1: Find something in what happened that belongs to you.
a–a feeling
b–an attitude
c–an action
d–something that you thought
e–a thing that you said
f–something that you expected that didn’t get fulfilled
g–whatever it is that you assumed
h–something that you meant to say but didn’t
i–a thing that you really intended but it didn’t work- Step 2: Find a way to say what you found in step one, simply with the language that starts with ‘I’+ ‘did or do’+ ‘what’+’the result if any’
In my case:
- w/ sub point a: I feel hurt
- with sub point f: I expected my Amazon business to grow and give me a full time income so I can blah blah blah… AND it didn’t happen.
- w/ sub point g: I assumed that all sellers are good to each other AND I was mistaken
- with sub point b: I had a cocky attitude AND it took me to actions that weren’t very intelligent
- Amazon’s job is to protect itself and its customers, not me.
you can do one or you can do all.
Do it until the issue feels completely taken back to yourself where you can grieve, learn from it, dust yourself off and get back into the game.
The capacities for courage, responsibility, being impervious to pain, fear, attacks, etc. are part of the Second Phase Activator, and are in the Effortless Abundance remedy… if you think you need some nudge then get that remedy…
Okay. Got something. Stay in the game. See what is so. Learn what works. Take responsibility for what you are bringing to life, and even what you take away from a situation.
When I see some stupid stuff like graffiti, litter, or whatever, I say “It is so.” I become an anthropologist observing this species. Then I realize that I am not really above it. I find myself being disappointed in people at certain times. I can really only ask better of myself. Sometimes it’s easier to just pick up some trash than to have to see it three days in a row. It’s appropriate, and I can stop thinking about it.