I woke up this morning with a question.
What feels good?
Being good, doing good feels good. Doing bad doesn’t feel good to me. And when I am asking my clients, they claim it doesn’t feel good, but then why are they doing it?
I pondered this for about half an hour when I suddenly, like a lightning, saw that good and bad are human constructs.
No, more than that. They are cultural constructs. Maybe even as cultural than that… Each family has their own good or bad concept.
As in… there is no culture that is homogeneous. My good is your stupid. Your good is my stupid.
So what decides what is good and what is bad… and where one must look from to see that?
Because if my code-book, the book I have all the good and all the bad actions documented… analyzed, and coded, is different from your code-book.
The concept ‘code-book’ comes from the book ‘The Art of Hunting Humans’…
…a tongue in cheek analysis of humanity and the human condition. I listened to it a few times as my walking companion a few years ago when it came out.
One of the issues in life the concept ‘code-book’ makes clear how two people or two groups of people can fight. Never understanding that their concept of good and bad is fundamentally different, and therefore they fight over their code-books.
For an emperor, or for a certain ex US president and his party, their code-book says: staying in power, no matter what it takes, is what is good. And that the end justifies the means: slavery, no freedom, lies, racism, no access to education, misogyny, suppression, misery… as long as it helps you stay in power. The end justifies the means.
When I choose the books to read, the movies, TV shows to watch…
…I choose them by my code-book. I choose what inspires me. And what inspires me is that the code book of the story matches my code-book. What is good according to my code-book.
I started to watch a British TV show yesterday. It is old, I think. I just looked up, it started back in 1994. Delicious.
The main character of the show is a detective who is also a master chef. Endearing. Matches my code-book. I’ll probably watch all 40 episodes.
He, the dectective, has to eat at a resort hotel in one of the episodes, (I have watched four so far) and the fancy menu of the restaurant covers up that nothing is made freshly, from raw ingredients, everything is pre-made and just heated up, in the microwave.
He prefers not to eat. And later when the kitchen closes, and the staff goes home, he makes omelet to eat.
Definitely matches my code book… I even have weepy eyes as I write this.
I see that I refuse to accept other code-books’ good as good…
I see them as evil… And have a huge gut response to it… My nose is buzzing… the definite sign of disgust.
I won’t share my whole code book. But nothing I say can come from anywhere else.
The art is to not be so sure that your good is good, the your good is THE good. And then start judging, demeaning, killing others for theirs.
The art is to get that a codebook is a codebook… and muster some compassion, if needed, for a codebook that according to yours is inferior to yours.
And laugh. At the utter ridiculousness of the human condition.
Some 34 years ago I was ‘FORCED!’ to pick a higher power. I was joining a 12-step program, and there it is a condition. Everyone chose god, but I am an atheist, and religion, in MY codebook is bad.
So after fuming for a little bit, I chose, for MY higher power: WHATEVER WORKS.
It may have been one of the major reasons why I managed to grow, why I did my homework, why I raised my vibration and consciousness, while others, smarter, richer people in the same programs I took did not. They assigned higher power to something that is outside of their power… I chose something that is within my power…
‘Whatever works’ needs you to look and analyze… and choose to do that. The thing, the process, the practice that works.
Now, if you want to do something constructive, I have a suggestion.
If you do it, and if you do it the way I ask you to, your happiness will increase by a lot… maybe as much as double and triple.
Start taking notes, while you live your life. Start noticing your choices, start noticing what inspires you. Especially noticing what inspires you.
But don’t lie.
Why do I say that? Because I found out that people lie.
If you judge people because you don’t feel safe, if you judge people because they don’t treat you special, if you judge people because they don’t value you, then you WILL lie about what inspires you.
You are interested in your ‘real’ code book, and see what you see.
If you, on the other hand, really like to abuse people, make them feel bad about themselves, or you wish they did… note it down.
It is hardcoded in your code book… Look at what you wish with sober eyes, the same way a scientist looks at a disemboweled carcass, or at the video where the lion eats the pretty antelope or its own cubs.
It’s in their code book…
Now, if your expressed ‘good’ doesn’t match your code book, you can never be happy. You’ll eat yourself on the inside.
So you may want to adjust one side to match the other. Either stop devaluing others, or stop pretending that you value them.
The end does not justify the means. Not if you want to love yourself and live a life you love!
The most missed element of integrity that nearly everyone misses is this: Integrity is: Honor your standards and ideals. Honor, in this case, means that you obey them. If it is your rule, then behave accordingly.
Why? Because without integrity nothing works. Nothing in life can work without integrity.
So if your standard for goodness is to respect people, and you don’t, then you cannot have integrity, and your life can’t work.
And if your life doesn’t work, then you hate yourself, hate your life, and nothing you do can work.
So either change your code book and the standard to: people are only there to provide you what you want… Not pretty, but it’s OK. Do you think it’s bad? If you think it’s bed, then change your behavior, change your attitude, so you can have integrity with your code-book.
Integrity is an inside job… My opinion doesn’t matter when it comes to YOUR integrity.
That doesn’t mean I won’t have an opinion though… because I will. I will see that you have different values from me, and may not want to hang out with you…
Anyway, if you want to hang out with this issue for a while, so you can adjust some of your code book or some of your behavior so your life can work, the Integrity Workshop is your best bet.
Get the integrity workshopWe’ll endeavor to bring your codebook and your behavior and attitude together, so you can start having integrity with yourself.
If you are new to integrity, in the shopping cart I give you an option to sign up to only the live session… That if you don’t want the rest.
If you want to find out about the codebooks, here is the book, here is the audio version with the Big Big Bundle energy embedded. The energy itself would cost $100. It makes your Consciousness come alive while you listen to the audio. Priceless.
PS: We will always find that you act according to your codebook…
But is it really YOUR codebook? More often than not we’ll find that it’s the Selfish Gene’s codebook… And the Selfish Gene is only interested in your self-propagation and survival, not in your happiness. So it will be very worth looking at your codebook… and weed out, or at least identify the rules by which you can’t succeed. Here is an article that goes into detail about that kinds of codes…
