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Without listening you don’t hear. You don’t have good questions to ask.
I could be saying I have a billion dollars for you, and you would not hear it.
But listening is staying with what you are listening to, and is not over-talking it, or allowing something to grab your attention and move it to what you are thinking about.
Listening is also allowing what is said to remain what was said…
If you translate what you hear, if you explain it, if you say it with your word, then you erase what was said and you replaced it with what you said.
I see this all the time. Especially with people who don’t seem to be altered by what I said.
When two or more people argue about a thing, it is almost always not hearing the same thing is what causes the argument.
Unless you are an excellent listener, you have already mixed in what you heard, explained away what you heard, bastardized what you heard, so you, in essence, don’t know what was said.
If you are the source of information for others, your inability or unwillingness to repeat what was said is what is causing this ‘post-truth era’ we live in.
You think it is others, but in fact it is you.
I saw a tweet this morning when a Black man says: Sittin’ here waiting to see how white people are gonna blame this whole Russian invasion of the Ukraine on Black people.
It could be tongue in cheek, because both black and white people have been blaming all their troubles on others… but it is most likely an illustration of what I am trying to say here.
Projecting everything through your ‘already always listening’
Already Always Listening?
Yes. Your backdrop gets entangled in everything you hear or see, one way or another.
Your backdrop has everything and its opposite…
For this person, I am only guessing, the backdrop says: you are suppressed, you blam yourself for everything, you are no good… blah blah blah… and it also says: you are the best, you should be president of this country and call the shot, it is the future you rob yourself of…
blah blah blah.
So whatever he hears, reads, sees shows up AGAINST this backdrop… and what comes out of his mouth makes him a laughing stock, people shaking their heads… how did he mix in racism into a war situation thousands of miles away. But he did, and guess what: you do too.
Your backdrop is undistinguished and unmanaged.
It is like going to a team competition where all your competing members, all the trainers, all the help-staff are pulling into different directions… Your team is not going to win.
Some of my calls I publish as podcast are worth hundreds of dollars in the right hands… and, surprisingly nothing in the hand of the person I am having the conversation with.
They didn’t hear a word the way I said it, thus they can have found no value in it.
This is the main reason I have stopped doing one-on-one coaching… it is a waste of brilliance… Only value that lands is worth producing, I say.
But if you look, this is the life of anyone in this day and age.
I write an article a day, and the content is on a PhD level. Why don’t I write on kindergarten level? After all that is the level where the bulk of humanity lives?
I don’t write to the bulk of humanity. Instead I write to people who can hear stuff on the PhD level. Can, I said. I didn’t say they do.
What irritates me most when someone’s ‘backdrop’ makes them skim my article, then makes them nod, or makes them say ‘it wasn’t clear’ and move on.
Both nodding or moving on despite of not finding it clear are worthless… meaning: the value didn’t land.
I once heard a speaker say: I spoke at this conference. The audience had both newbies who were just starting out, and million dollar a day attendees.
The two groups didn’t take notes at the same time. At certain times the newbies wrote what they heard furiously, not wanting to miss a word. At other times the accomplished people did the same.
Depending on where you are at, you can hear and appreciate different things.
My articles, in the right hands, are worth hundreds or thousands of dollars.
For example the idea of the backdrop and its devastating effect on your life can be the difference between a never do really well, and a billionaire…
Because once that sting is pulled out of the situation, the sky is the limit for the right person, even if until that moment they were not doing well.
The difference is that one article… or maybe two, combined.
Of course if they added some coaching, some structure to it, then I would say that the future is certain.
The backdrop, unexamined, unmanaged, makes you not able to succeed.
In today’s Backdrop class…
…we’ll look at, examine, and develop a strategy to manage the backdrop, so the participant can succeed in life. Health, wealth, love and fulfillment.
I know the people and god knows, they have suffered enough.
Seeing the backdrop in all its gory glory is not enough. Without a strategy designed and implemented the result: feeling light and airy, people say, is going to fade away, and you’ll be back where you started. No success.
The problem the backdrop represents is the gap between the imaginary self and the real self.
The larger the gap the less chance for success.
So the strategy is to raise the real self, strategically, so the gap diminishes, and the real self isn’t told every moment of every day that it is not enough.
Not enough? Yeah.
Not smart enough. Not the right color. Neither anything enough. And therefore can’t have what it wants. The actual self.
Every single person on the planet, I believe, lives with that wide unbridgeable gap.
The few, whose gap is smaller by some chance, are relatively successful… But it is human nature to create a huge gap… The bigger the better! Not suspecting EVER that the gap, the size of the gap will make them more miserable than when they created it.
Anyway, today’s workshop is full…
You can buy the recordings if you wish. And I also accept people to the waiting list of the next one…
Some people can really benefit from repeating the workshop a few time. Especially if their habitual way of listening/hearing bastardizes what they heard.
This is a very precise system. More a scalper than a hammer. If you are not precise, your results will not be as designed.
So hearing it over and over can make all the difference.
OK, if you are interested in getting the recording or signing up to a future Backdrop workshop, here is the link to do that.
I charge $1 for the waiting list to eliminate the freebie seekers.
Get the recordings or sign up to the waiting listPS: I have been experimenting in speaking the backdrop as the canvas on which you project dreams, ideas, and also how it is, how it seems to be…
All like a pile of pancakes…
The two projected layers we’ll deal in the Backdrop workshop are
- the ‘how it should be’ aka pipedream aka your imaginary self and life.
- and the ‘how it is’ or ‘how it should be’.
Example:
layer 1: bombed out residential buildings (Kyiv?)
layer 2: smiling faces of a couple…
you see, on its own, you can deal with each. But having the two layers superimposed you are hit in the gut with the tragedy… At least I am. Crying.
If you aren’t, then your vibration is probably two low. And you only care about yourself.
