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Imagine the scenario. The guy gets on one knee, pulls out a little box from his pocket, opens it to show a beautiful ring… and asks: Will you marry me? And the woman answers: I am willing to marry you…
Oops… all the magic is gone.
Or maybe the woman answers: I will commit… When? asks the distraught guy… putting away the ring… weeping inward.
Not romantic, not straightforward… very um, I don’t even have a word for it.
And these are the noncommittal words that came back from many of my clients when I ask them to commit to do what it takes to keep the responsibility gene on… working… active.
Do you find that you are buying stuff for the dopamine rush it gives you?
Maybe you need a dopamine detox?
Youtube has a ton of videos for and against dopamine detox… who is right? The pro people? The against people?
I have a secret for you: they are looking at the wrong place.
As always, they are trying to treat the symptom, not the cause.
Let’s attend to the cause, shall we?
If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there, including doing things for dopamine rush…
Instead the job is to first learn to drive, and then decide where you want to go. Really. Or decide where you want to go and use the energy of that to learn how to drive. Both work.
In essence: learn to make your plane land on the landing strip… Instead of believing six impossible things (that give you dopamine) before breakfast.
Are you committing or are you lying with your wallet?
I did a DNA adjustment for 36 people a couple of weeks ago.
They put down their money… and I am finding out, many didn’t put down their word.
In fact people habitually lie with their wallet.
- In an ideal world you put your money where your mouth is… but we don’t live in an ideal world.
- In this world of ours you put your money where it brings the most dopamine, I think.
You are a dopamine addict, and there is nothing confusing, or vague about it.
Underneath all that dopamine induced excitement is a person who isn’t happy, isn’t joyful, isn’t at peace.
With some of your consciousness you are aware that your life isn’t worth much, in fact you aren’t worth much, and you want more and more… want what others seem to have, success, vitality, happiness, love… To get what you want, you have to deserve what you want. The world is not yet a crazy enough place to reward a whole bunch of undeserving people.
And the word ‘deserve’ is misleading: it really means: ‘earn’ what you want. With work, my dear. Work that you commit to.
The safest way to try and get what you want is to try and earn what you want
It is in every area of life, work, health, and spirituality.
The responsibility capacity puts you squarely into the driver’s seat in your life… but guess what: it takes work to learn to become responsible for where and how you drive that life, and it takes a commitment both to learn and to drive it the way it gets you what you want,
Let me say it differently again:
- It takes a commitment to drive your own life.
- Most people live life as if they were just a passenger, and would
- only have the power to comment on where their life is going, pray, wish, complain, beg… but
- no direct influence.
- They are not seeing themselves in the driver’s seat.
To be in the driver’s seat,
- you need to take on your life… and
- you need to learn how to do it… and then
- learn how to actually drive your life, once you learned how to be responsible for where it’s going.
And that demands a commitment
- first to OWN your life as your own,
- then to learn responsibility, and
- then to learn how to use it to drive your life.
Responsibility is the threshold capacity… without it no other capacity matters. Really.
Threshold to what? you may ask. Actually it is a good question. Let’s look.
When I look at people I know well, I see that people who don’t have the responsibility capacity on complain, blame, force, manipulate… they don’t behave like they have the power to direct their vehicle to where they intend to direct it.
Tai shares a significant phrase in his 67 steps: make your plane land on the landing strip in any weather… that is 100% dependent on the capacity of being cause aka responsibility.
- You can’t do it if you blame the weather
- You can’t do it if you blame your lack of skills
- You can only do it if you learned how to be responsible, how to be cause of where you are landing.
But, bummer, you need to commit to all three elements of becoming that person who can and who will.
I didn’t have even an inkling of responsibility, despite of that being a dictionary word, until a millionaire client of mine refused to bail me out when I didn’t have the money to pay my rent and the printer when I was a magazine publisher.
Instead of helping, he said ‘you can do it’.
When I hung up the phone I looked around and said to myself: he can see that I can do it… so it is there. I only have to see it myself.
That was the very first time I had a eeny teeny corner of responsibility shown to me.
It only took me a few minutes to actually see that in fact I had several ways to generate enough sales to pay both of those bills.
In the years after I gently and gradually became more and more the cause of where my life is landing. I am still learning, I am still getting better.
My newest person to admire is Alex Hormozi. When I muscletest his responsibility score, it is 90%. Mine is 70%. He is a million dollars a month guy, I see that just by increasing my level of cause, my level of responsibility I can get to maybe making more money than I know what to do with.
Having more clients than I need.
Having more health than any 74 year old
etc.etc.etc.
Yeah, Learn how to take on being the driver in your life, and increase your driving skill day by day by day.
That’s it.
So the people who said ‘I am willing to commit’ obviously don’t understand what they are not committing to.
Willing to commit is not committing… Plain and simple.
This group, the 36 people are doing the testing work I need to blow the program out big…
If you are not in the 36, you may want to use the time until I re-launch this program to learn more about the components, like the invisible dynamics that prevent you from committing, prevent you from doing what would work, make you argue, justify, avoid, resist, and cry bloody murder.
The Racket process is a great way.
I have a course, and then I have a biweekly workshop, live, for those who want to examine themselves so they are not at the mercy of this circumstance: the inner dynamic, the machine.
Remember, to make your plane land on the landing strip is not a fair weather requirement for a good life. It is almost always in the side-wind of the racket… and the racket is capricious and a shape-shifter, so you need to have a solid knowledge of how it work…
Gusty winds? The racket. No problem… you can still make your plane land on the landing strip safely.
I only teach the racket in these videos or workshops.
The how to make your plane land on the landing strip regardless is in the next step, when I teach ‘responsibility’…
But preparation is half of victory. By failing to prepare you prepare to fail.
In everything. Failing to prepare, you are preparing a failed life.
So get prepared
Get The Racket courseNot what you wanted, is it?
PS: some quotes: The soul’s one and only path for escape from the black hole of true misery. Purpose…
…that purpose and meaning relies on one common denominator. Responsibility. And it was true. Responsibility led to purpose, and purpose led to meaning. It was as easy as that—almost silly in its simplicity, though harder in execution.
get the significance?
Without responsibility, there is no purpose, there is no meaning to your life.
