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Why can’t you make things happen? Why can’t you make your life work…
You’ll hate me for this… but hate me as much as you want, this is why: Your integrity is shot.
Without integrity nothing works. Sounds very general, and definitely doesn’t seem to have anything to do with you: you are always on time, you brush your teeth twice a day, you keep your diet, you don’t cheat on your spouse… so what am I talking about?
I’ll explain it in a little bit, but let me just say something more:
Whenever ANYTHING doesn’t work about my life, about any of my relationship, about my health, about my work, about my money, I automatically go to my integrity.
I say: what is the integrity issue that I have that this is what I see… the area not working.
The out-of-integrity can be in many different ways, so I have a checklist: 1
- have I been keeping my word? to myself, or to anyone…
- is anything hidden? half-truths? pretenses? misleading others? hidden agendas? false statements?
- have I skimped on any of my work, my diet, my exercise, my hygiene?
- have I been dwelling in a context that is not empowering? (this is mostly where I find my out of integrity, by the way. I know you have no idea what context is, what empowering is, so let’s look at it differently. Ask the question: would my mother be happy that I am thinking this while I am doing that? Would I want all the people know why I am doing the things I do? If yes, then it is probably an empowering context. As you see, context is the answer is to the question: Why?)
- am I doing well what I am supposed to be doing, or am I cutting corners?
- am I true to my values, my principles?
- am I true to myself?
- am I still true to correcting my soul correction?
- am I still in growth mode, or have I slipped into maintenance mode?
- is my relationship with Source working, or have I missed something?
A really important thing about integrity: it is not a sums game. You can’t do good in one area, and compensate for the shitty things you do in another.
Ultimately, integrity, the diligent attending to integrity, will result in a life that is seamless and transparent. Where you are the same person everywhere.
So without ongoingly working on integrity, eventually your life stops working.
Why? Because you will stop yourself from having it work… until you take care of integrity.
Integrity is an inside job, between you and you. No one can say: you have no integrity, or if they say, they are opinionating from the sidelines. Only you can say, with any real power, whether you have integrity or not.
Why is integrity is your number One missing when your life isn’t working?
Integrity is being true to yourself. It is having the actions match the words… one of the Forum Leaders said it in a memorable way: the tongue in your mouth and the tongue in your shoes must go the same way.
Now, let us look what that means: that means that your word is your bond. That your word is an action.
The power of your word
Words are not cheap: every word is a commitment, whether you say it to someone or say it to yourself, whether it is said out loud or in your heart: it is speaking. It is committing.
Now, if you are like most people (I know you will hate this…) then your word is cheap, and doesn’t mean anything. You use your word like it’s the same as burping, breathing, passing wind… no difference. Those are actions that you don’t have power over.
Unless you learn to control your words, including the ones in your head, you will not have any hopes of having a great life, of becoming an expanding human being. You will continue your life as a ship without a rudder… no one is controlling your ship, and especially you don’t.
One of the problems with trying to create a stronger relationship to your word is the fact that you have been full of crap.
I did a course some 26 years ago that was a huge help in taking me closer to having power with my word. In that course the “instrument” was a list of integrity items… a list with some 40 items. Each item was somewhat easy to do something about, and in about two years I had a list that was quasi complete… and I became so powerful that people were talking about me.
I since then dropped the ball, but maintained some level of integrity. Now I am ready to clean it up again… and I would like to invite you to do it with me.
You can get a free copy of it by registering to my free gift site at
You’ll see that the individual items are not difficult, but you haven’t considered most of those an integrity issue, and have been sweeping them under the rug… and giving away your power.
The more you do the faster your integrity will rise.
Why do you need integrity?
When you have a higher level of integrity, when your word starts to have power, when you will start trusting yourself to do what you say, no matter what… you will have a whole new life. Your life will start turning, and moving steadily in the direction of your speaking and you will experience that you indeed have a say in the matter of your own life… that you don’t need to pray, beg, envy others… you can actually make things happen.
And, my friend, nothing compares to that. It is the best feeling a person can experience.
PS: if your integrity is out, new capacities cannot take root. So why don’t you adopt a new slogan: “Integrity First” and start working on your integrity.
As I said before, just the action switches the inner state between you and you, to integrity.
I promised to whittle down my “stuff” to next to nothing. It will take me many months with the 10-12 minutes a day schedule. But as long as I don’t skip a day, in this area of life I am in action about my integrity, so my integrity meter is up. My integrity is in.
PS: nowadays I am managing my integrity with the HERO program, especially in the area where I’d like to cause some growth… growth in enjoyment, growth in excitement, growth in revenues: my business. You can use it for whatever growth you want to use it for… But business is where I need the most scary steps… so I need the support, need the power of my word…
Enroll in the GABA program… if you don’t yet have your starting point measurements, I’ll measure it for you for what you paid for the trial period
- Integrity is: nothing hidden, being truthful and honest, doing complete work, working from an empowering context, and doing very well what you do, doing it as it was meant to be done or better, and without cutting corners.
In other words, honoring one’s word.
Doing what you know to do, doing what you said you would do and on time, doing what others could expect you to do even if you haven’t said that you would do it, and saying when you are not doing this as soon as you realize you won’t be doing it or won’t be doing it on time.
