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Experiencing pain? emotional? physical? Where does pain come from?
Most people cannot properly, accurately identify what they feel inside. On one hand self awareness is low, on the other knowing what the inner dynamics are is not taught in any school, or by any ‘guru’.
Given that it is not taught, you’ll have a hard time, I guess, to accept that all pain is the result of resistance… emotional, physical… all pain.
But what about fear?
Fear, what you call fear, is resistance. No matter what name you call it, anxiety, worry, it is still resistance and it causes pain.
This article was inspired by two things, maybe three?
1. An article on Medium penned by an Irish dude… who suggests that all good things are on the other side of fear. I can see that.
2. The sudden drop in the number of people who read my articles
3. My conversation today on the Distinction Podcast.
Bonnie’s soul correction is Silent Partner. Very fearful soul correction. And the dominant attitude of people of this soul correction is resistance… avoiding domination, not wanting to be told what to do.
Some people with the Silent Partner soul correction take it to the max… they are belligerent.
My job as a teacher is to tailor how I teach to the preference of the student… so they can learn.
Whether it is how structured the material is, or what language I use, or what ‘modality’ I use to drive things home, it is MY JOB to make my teaching effective.
And, of course, I don’t know how to do that well. I am afraid of doing it wrong. I am afraid of being ineffective, looking bad, disappointing my partner.
And I am resisting it.
It is a lot like getting into the cold pool… you imagine what it is going to be like, the horror of it, but once you are in it, it is quite invigorating…
I remember being the only person of my group who swam in an ice cold mountain lake in Russia, back in 1970… no one else was willing to do it.
It is not that I am fearless, but I am willing to try what scares me. What looks frightening. Because life could be an adventure…
But certain things even I resist…
What kind of things?
Things that my ego says will make me look bad.
Jumping into the ice cold lake made me look good. Doing things on stage people would rather die but do made me look good. Staying up eight days and eight nights in a row made me look fantastic.
So, the ego that cares only about looking good, so the ego loved it.
But doing something I don’t know how to do… that brings with it the danger of looking really bad. So I am experiencing resistance… you can call fear. I don’t.
I am clear that the feeling I have is resistance… mixed in with the sharp pain caused by the soul…
When I don’t do what would make me better but first it would make me look bad, both the ego and the soul are nudging me.
- My resistance to the soul’s nudging is the 42nd Bach Energy: No matter what I do… it won’t work…
- My resistance to the ego’s nudging is procrastination…
My distinction procrastination is not complete… it is at 10%… lots I don’t know about procrastination because I rarely procrastinate.
Procrastination is not doing what wants to get done and suffering from it.
There are a lot of things I don’t do, but I don’t suffer… A very few things I would get huge results with but the resistance to looking bad, mostly to myself, holds me back. Heck… that is procrastination.
Just like hate is eating the poison you mean for another, procrastination is suffering without any of the benefits the actual doing could cause.
Not a good deal.
The dude in the articles says: Ask: ‘What would I do if I weren’t afraid?’
My knee jerk reaction to that is that suggests that you should eliminate the fear… good luck with that! Not going to happen.
But when I get through my judgment, I can see that the question can drive up what is important, what the ‘soul’ wants you to do, what the soul is pushing for: doing what will make you become all you can become.
I hear that hell is when the person you could have become meets the person you did become.
Sometimes you see who you could have become because you look at people who started where you started, and are no way ahead of you. That is hell.
Consider that what is more important than being smart, getting good grades, being liked, looking good, even being healthy is your ability to stop resisting and get going.
Many times what wakes me up is a little ‘teaching story’ where you are afraid to start something, and someone says: in five years, if you start, you’ll be an expert or well on your way to become an expert. But if you don’t start… you’ll be exactly where you are now.
You can call it fear, but after reading this article you know it isn’t fear. It is resistance. It is an unwillingness to look bad for a little while. To feel bad and insecure, maybe even stupid or inadequate for a little while.
It is time to sac up, to man up, to grit your teeth and do what you need to do so you can become all you can become, so you can avoid the hell we all face if we don’t.
In tomorrow’s Integrity Workshop, session #3 of 4 I’ll deliver a method to help you identify what it will take for you to 10x yourself and your life.
You can buy the recordings of the whole course, or you can just buy this method… I call The Clarity Exercise to 10x yourself or your business…
Priceless. It is recommended that you do this exercise once a month, maybe even once a week.
Go to the sales page
every project teaches you something, whether it succeeded or not. and a track record of successful project is what your ‘subconscious’ looks at when it decides that you can do it… that you can handle whatever is thrown at you.
and the projects can all build a trajectory, the trajectory of your life… Obviously at some point you need to set a direction, a horizon… so you don’t just do random projects… that is so without saying.
“instead of having one thing that your entire future hinges… Ugh.”
What a phrasing: this recent resistance was explicitly around commiting to a vision for what I want for my life in the next 10 weeks, 6 months, and 7 years.
Very much a definition that tries to be just that, a thing on which my future would hinge.
There is something to be said, as a creator of a vision, the vision itself still doesn’t define me. Having my vision pan out, fall short, or go sideways is simply a record of how I have progressed once I have set a direction.
If the direction is wrong, that means I got far enough to learn something to show me the errors in my way.
Mental musings aren’t enough, my thoughts above require I find ways to prove to my subconscious, my body, that I can handle what I take on.
Otherwise, the question changes, should anything be considered important? Should my entire life direction be “just projects”?
those are very good questions Cassie. but instead of answering it, I would recommend a different tack… a teacher of mine Sean D’Souza says: don’t start a business, start a project.
Obviously from what you have written here, I don’t know if I am off with my answer but I know one thing: if you approach everything as a project that will either succeed or it will fail, either way it is incredibly valuable, then the loss the reason to grieve is less pressing: you free yourself up to just do lots of projects, some succeed, some are flat, and others flat out fail.
The outcome is the outcome. And none of them are you…
Doing project creates a lightness, a distance that makes you not identify with the outcome, and then you are free to swing out and experiment with what it is you really want… instead of having one thing that your entire future hinges… Ugh.
Recently encountered this resistance, and found I didn’t trust myself.
The thing I wanted was too important, my ego too invested. A part of me knew if I felt failure I would need to grieve, but I had not practiced grieving healthily or productively most of my life. (Truly, an effective way to grieve has only been understood to me within this past month, many times prior I had done more to retraumatize myself during expression, than to express without judgment.)
Not processing my emotions properly, particularly stuffing down or suppressing emotions, I became less expressive overall.
I notice that the resistance I experienced is meant to avoid creating an opportunity to sink further: I cannot grieve a thing that never happens, I can avoid becoming a husk of a person by sticking to status quo, or waiting until I truly believe it is more likely that I will succeed than fail, or no longer find it important enough to stress about whether I succeed or fail.
The fear is not in the action, but in how I perceive I may react to the outcome: do I believe, completely, that any and every outcome is something that will make me equal or better in spirit, or that I can fully process any pain brought on by a possible loss of that magnitude?