Getting along, working along, creating side by side is very hard… often hopeless. This article points to the right way that you can learn to get along… and have harmonious relationships.
Some of my students are working on distinguishing conflict… Telling conflict apart from everything that looks like, and maybe even feels like a conflict.
For decades I pondered why the Greek sages said ‘Know Thyself‘. What difference does it make if I know myself or not.
And I wasn’t alone. Approximately 99% of humanity knows themselves to a maximum of 1%, which is as if they don’t know themselves at all.
In my Starting Point Measurements I measure this as ‘self-awareness.’
So in the absence of knowing your self, you make up a self… and that I call your ‘precious I’. Who you should be… not who you are.
So many conflicts in the world come from you not knowing yourself, not being able to give yourself what you need, and not getting along with others… because they relate to who they see you as… neither as you really are, nor who you fancy yourself to be.
So this gives rise to a ton of conflicts, and that is the result of you not knowing yourself, and they not knowing themselves, and in addition: having no way to see the invisible about each other.
Also, most people want to be liked, want to have smooth and nice interactions with others… and no matter how hard they try, giving up who they are, denying who they are, the result is less than desirable.
So I decided to make this today’s Distinction Podcast topic… seven different ways to look at self and the other, and see how it may be possible to have a good relationship with anyone, and how it may be only up to you… and not them.
Bonnie is the perfect partner to do this with.
In the seven ways to know who you are measures, we are smack dab opposite in four… And in a normal, unmanaged environment we would not be able to be friends.
In spite of her liking me, she would send conflicting massages because how my ‘machine’ works confuses, threatens hers… and even one long conversation would be nigh impossible.
But with the tools I introduced in the call, she can learn to have good relationships with other people… eventually. And, of course to have a great relationship with me.
This doesn’t mean you should have a great relationship with anyone, nor that it is even possible.
There needs to be at least mutual liking, or a desire to be friends, to be on good terms.
But, and such is life, you have people in your life, or you come across people in commerce, or services, who are disagreeable… and no matter how nice you are to them they will just do what they do… and rub you the wrong way.
In tomorrow’s Soaring Method class we’ll learn what you can do to alter the ‘relationship’ if you can call it that… by changing the channel.
Changing the channel, changing the conversation verbally is very difficult and requires skills most people would not be able to learn… you would really need to become a wizard or a magician to do that.
But luckily the Soaring Method is all about being a magician… and tomorrow we’ll learn and then practice the magician move of changing the channel in three different way… so you can pick which tickles your fancy the most and then you get masterful at that.
Interestingly, most everything depends on whether you can remember that you are a magician…
…and that you can change reality at will… whether it is about the personality conflicts I taught on the Distinctions Podcast today, or whether it is about changing the channel in unmanageable relationships I’ll teach tomorrow.
Not accidentally thus far most of the Soaring Method students failed to remember… even though in their privacy they can remember. It takes practice to remember it when it matters, in the thick of things… that is still missing.
Don’t forget: the ‘currency’ of life is distinctions. The more distinctions you can recognize the better life becomes, the more productive you become, and the better your relationships can become.
Anyway, you can get the first 3 audios of the Distinctions Podcast if you buy today… including today’s… on self-knowledge and creating workable relationships with others.
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