The Hungarian saying about April Fool is ‘April’s fool, May’s stupid ass’
But when you look closely, the human mind makes us an April’s fool all the time.
I look out the window. the trees are covered with snow.
What does this mean? This is the first question any human asks, isn’t it? What does this mean?
Nature is probably aware that it’s April Fool’s Day, and it speaks of two sides of the mouth: the bottom of the sky says: warm weather is coming. the trees and the dark clouds say: winter is here to stay.
When I left Hungary back in 1982, I drove a tiny Italian car that had the size of wheels like a toy car, so it made me feel every pebble on the pavement, it was talking to me through my butt.
Had I asked what this meant, had I come up with the most plausible answer, I would have turned around, and said: what i know is better than the unknown…
Truth be told, it hasn’t been easy. But easy is for fools. Nothing that is satisfying is ever easy.
Unless you measure yourself to a mountain out of your league, you will always feel that your life is empty, meaningless, and unfulfilling.
Not only if you are a high achiever… no matter who you are, if you settle for easy, if you go for easy, your life is empty, meaningless and unfulfilling.
The size of your life is the size of your mountain to climb. And whether you are clear or not about it: you choose your mountain to climb.
Landmark Education used to say: It is not that life becomes easier, it is that you become stronger…
But easy doesn’t make you stronger, does it?
If you are a mama’s boy, and your mama protected you and did everything for you, then you are a weakling… and life feels very difficult, the life that feels like a breeze to someone else.
You go to the gym and pick up the 2-lb dumbbells and think that if you stay with those you’ll get stronger… but to everyone’s surprise, you even abandon that… any effort is too much for you… and life is not satisfying, is it?
Maybe it was your father that treated you like a princess, and now you are weak, you are expecting someone to do the same for you… and life is not satisfying, is it?
The hardest thing to do is starting where you are.
You look around and people are at all different levels on the pyramid of life… so you want to start where they are, or where you should be, but you cannot do anything where you aren’t, can you?
I like Maslow’s pyramid, if not for any other reason: you can locate yourself on it and get knocked conscious: you are not trying to be where you are.
level 5 self-actualization needs
level 4 esteem needs
level 3 love and belonging needs
level 2 safety needs
level 1 physiological needs
The first four levels are deficiency needs. Level 5 is a growth need. Deficiency needs vs. growth needs
Inner motivation decreases with the fulfillment of the deficiency needs… while on the growth level, the opposite is true.
99% of all people are stuck on the levels of deficiency needs… because their physiological needs, livelihood, safety, love, esteem, etc. are somewhat satisfied, and they have no motivation left to go for self-actualization.
I spent 35 years of my life trying to bring people into level 5, and I failed at that.
The mountain was bigger than I could climb, but I grew tremendously.
I had to grow every day, till the end, and I am still committed to growing even bigger.
Will I change the mountain? No… not really. I’ll just add some conditions to it, making it harder to climb, but maybe more possible.
You see, if you are supposed to start where you are, then a teacher/coach should also start with you where you are.
Did I do that for those 35 years? I didn’t.
Could I have done that? I think so.
So my next ’35 years’ I’ll do just that…
Consider this, at this point, a formulation conversation.
Remember, every project has five phases, and it starts with formulation: finding out what the truth is about you, about your clientele, about the world. Finding out what tools and methods you have. What support you have. What strength you bring to the party. What deficits you have that you must plan for to fill, or find someone who can do it for you.
A project can be only as big and as strong as its foundation, which is developed in the formulation phase.
So my prediction is that I’ll be in formulation about this project for quite a while.
But luckily the tools of my first 35 years are still with me… and will be crucially important: they will prepare people for the climb… climbing their mountain. Get out of the survival levels… and into the growth level.
Almost every tool I ever developed is now very useful.
I would say that the two tools: altering, at least temporarily, who you are for yourself, plus the pulling the anchor to doom together.
The doom is the threatening final ‘promise’ of your ‘dominant belief’ about yourself. That you can’t, that you are not loved, that you are useless, worthless, unwanted, or that you’ll never get what you want… the list is a mile long.
And as long as you are anchored to the doom, this ‘dominant belief’ gives you all the elbow room to operate inside… not much, if my observation of you is any accurate.
So pulling the anchor that makes you circle that doom, like it’s the drain taking you to oblivion, is one of the most important things a human can ever hope for, and I can do it for you.
And then, coupling it with the Soaring Method, where you invent yourself anew, the new you can swim away from the doom, and do interesting stuff that was impossible for the fixed ‘you’ anchored to that doom.
If this is the first time you hear about anchor and pulling… here is the short explanation:
…there are attachments, energetic attachments, both inside and outside of the human body.
The anchor to doom is an inside attachment, but pulling it (not cutting!) works the same way: I pull it like I would pull a weed that has a long tap-root anchoring it to the ground.
I grab it and gently pull it until even the last little root lets go of the soil, and the root comes out in its entirety.
I don’t need to know what doom it was attached to, I don’t need to know what the ‘dominant belief’ about yourself was, but I can’t avoid it: I can feel it.
But it is useful for you to know, useful for you to see how it manifests in your life… for two reasons:
- 1. you often bring it about unconsciously
- 2. gives you a conscious experience of being free from it… This second is very important: anything that happens to you that you don’t accurately identify the source of, you’ll not be able to hold onto. So the digging session is to identify accurately the inner dynamic, so you can acknowledge the pulling of the anchor as the source of new behaviors, new feelings, new life you can have.
So you can see, this combo can give you the biggest advantage over others who will still be circling the doom, hoping for a different future, while you are able to move away from it and experience freedom of choice in the matters of your life.
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