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A child is self-referential, self-centered, considers everything personal, and sees everything through this vantage point: everything is because of me, about me, for me…
By age three the child is able to see that some things are not related to him, some things have nothing to do with them.
And by now, that you are reading this article, it would be a sign of maturity, a sign that you grew up, if you take nothing personally.
But you do, don’t you? And it makes you miserable, reactive, and ineffective in life.
The more grown up you are, the less you take things personally…
…and, interestingly, the higher your vibration can climb. Why? Because you can see more of reality than others.
We all retain at least some childish ways to relate to what’s happening… I am not an exception.
My landlord’s daughter and his boyfriend moved into the downstairs apartment, I live upstairs. I have been here for 19 years, I have planted decorative trees… And they have cut down all of them.
At first I took it personally. but yesterday, as they cut down the last one, now 19 years old beautiful tree, I realized that their value system is different from mine, and they are the owners: they have the right to have the grounds the way they like the grounds. That they have bad taste is not an offense to me… Obviously my taste isn’t to their liking either.
It took me a whole week to recover, but I did… They do what they do. If I want my own garden, I need to own it. And if someone cuts my trees there, I can get mad, I can harass them, report them, threaten them, but not until then.
When everything feels that it’s about you, that people are attacking you, when you feel people shouldn’t tell you what to do, when people don’t give you what you think you deserve, you are acting from that three year old, and your job is to grow up in a hurry.
What is cute in a 2-year old is obnoxious in a person who should know better.
No one owes you anything. Nothing. and I’ll go even further: no one ever owed you anything. And, interestingly, here is a politically completely incorrect statement: the less you get the further you’ll go in life.
You want more: you need to negotiate for more.
In reality, as opposed to your fantasy world, you get what you get. Not what is owed to you, not what you deserve, but what you get.
If you want more, you need to negotiate for more.
Negotiation is an art… but no child can negotiate: a child can extort, blackmail, nag for…
So you need to grow up. Get what you get, and if you want more, negotiate for more.
If you were/are spoiled, wean yourself from all the things you never earned, never negotiated, you just got.
The tougher you become the better life will be. Really. Take my word for it.
The higher your about-me number, the less my work will work for you, until you manage to lower it to under 30%… preferably under 10%.
The first step… of course, is to realize that you take everything personally…
The other day I sent a reply to one of my students’ email when she complained that the diet to heal herself is going to be difficult. I said: You need to grow up.
And by some miracle, she got it. Her behavior has changed since then… a lot.
I got so inspired by her turnaround, that I decided that I can grow up in some areas of my life where I haven’t… like eating.
I’ve been eat and drink tea, milk, for soothing comfort. Obviously I felt I needed a lot of comfort, because I have ballooned to close to 150 pounds. That is fat… lol. Not very funny…
So I decided to get back to basics, and start to eat by true hunger… ‘
Can I do it? Muscletest says I can’t… But I can do more than I do now. I can reduce the times I reach for a cup of tea to soothe myself.
Eating by true hunger is an eating style. Eating style is a when, under what conditions, and how to eat phenomenon, not a what to eat.
Human Design has this service, but I have found that their method, whatever they use to determine someone’s optimal eating style is flawed.
I muscletest it…
Want to know yours?
Negotiate more from life… Your eating style
