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So we have language. Language that hasn’t evolved for, I don’t actually know, but let’s say tens of thousands of years, and yet we know nothing about communicating.
I even see people call The Communication Course, communications course… with plural.
What does that signal to me? That they don’t think that there is such a thing as communication, only instances of it.
You think that talking, telling someone to do something or not do something is communication.
Unfortunately for you, for humanity, all the communications put together don’t add up to Communication…
Communication is the power to create with your word.
Communication is not talking, even though some speaking, words, are be part of communication.
Today the most powerful people on the planet are salespeople. Why?
Because you cannot really sell without effective communication.
Who are salespeople?
People who sell ideas. Politicians, copywriters, a CEO… anyone who sells ideas, who make others do what they tell them to do. People who get you to want to do what they want you to do.
That is, in essence, communication.
The communication can be directed to other people, or yourself. We don’t know any inanimate object, spirit, god, angel, whatnot, to respond to communication… at least I don’t know… even though I talk to Source all the time… I talk I said, I didn’t say I communicate.
The biggest source of grief for you is that no one is doing what you tell them to do, expect them to do, so you feel powerless.
- The accountant tells their clients to provide the ‘stuff’, bills, the numbers so they can do their reports to the government in a timely manner. They think telling their clients is going to be enough… but because there is no communication involved, only telling, the clients don’t do what they were told to do and that drives an accountant to despair. I know, I have a few clients who are accountants.
- The employee who is groomed to take over the business has the whole business dumped on them, all the roles, without an increase in salary. Not a moment of respite… not even at home… The employee gets sick… so the employee tells his boss, the owner, that he needs to recover. What happens? Nothing. Not a thing. Somebody said something, and nothing happened. There was NO communication.
- You tell your child to do their homework, but they don’t do it…
- You tell your husband your opinion about some political this or that… and get dismissed.
- You talk and talk and talk some more… and nothing happens your way.
Or here is an extreme case: you take a communication course. You take it three times because you really want to learn it. And nothing changes. WTF happened?
Communication is not in the words. Communication is not in the tone of voice, as I used to think.
Communication is in the beingness.
The level of what we call communication is on the level of homo sapiens: lots of ineffective talk.
Communication’s job is to create, at least for the moment, an elevation of vibration of both the speaker and the intended recipient of the communication.
Dog and horse whisperers communicate with their charge, because they elevate them to the level of beingness.
Did you notice that there are no cat whisperers? Cats are not willing… But dogs and horses have a deep desire to serve, to connect, and that is why you can whisper effectively to them.
Communication connects to the higher self that wants to do good things, that wants to be aligned with Life that wants more life for everyone and everything.
Unless you take the time to connect to that part of people your intended communication will just be words, talking, missing the mark.
Your vibration is consistent with your willingness to align with Life, with wanting more life for everyone and everything. Or said another way, your vibration is low when you are all about what you want for yourself, and not for others.
“Do not be daunted by the insurmountability of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work but neither are you free to abandon it.” ~ The Talmud
The easiest to understand score is your about-me score: the higher it is the less you can communicate, no matter on what end of the communication you are: whether you are the speaker or the listener.
I can also measure your vibration with measuring to what degree you are cause, causing your life, your actions, your emotions, your speaking… your listening… vs. to what degree you are an effect: it is happening to you.
Before you can effectively communicate to others, before your word can alter reality, you need to attend to your own beingness. Connect to it. Unless you do, there will be no communication.
It’s a lot like being a sniper: you sit in your sniper nest ready when the intended target is within your scope. When there is a connection.
Saturday, in the Playground, I taught the participants a method to provide themselves with what is missing for them in life…
If you are not for you, who is for you? Asked Hillel the elder.
He meant exactly what I was teaching. What he never said: unless you can master communication, unless you have the patience and the caring to connect to yourself, you cannot give yourself what you need.
One of my students is feeling poorly, healthwise. He needs rest to get well. He saw the wisdom in the Hillel sentence, and he thinks he is giving rest to himself. And his health continues to deteriorate.
Why? Because you can only give yourself what belongs to you, what you own.
I am on a higher scale on all the numbers that are needed, and yet I cannot give myself rest either. It doesn’t belong to me.
Years ago I did a health seminar with Landmark Education of which only one sentence rang true, even then, almost 30 years ago: “rest consciously”.
As an insomniac, this could be the most valuable statement to me, and it is… to a degree. For me to fall asleep I have to, consciously, relax my muscles, especially my facial muscles, relax my attention. I can do it when I don’t want to sleep. But in bed? Hell, it takes more than I am masterful at… many nights I toss and turn.
And so is with most things you want to communicate to yourself.
We, the Playground, are learning to cause something over there… for ourselves in this coming month.
You stand in front of the mirror, connect to the person in the mirror, and communicate what you want them to get.
I did this the first time some 33 years ago, when I was desperate to get a job to get some income. My vibration was 100 at the time, my about-me number: 70% together with my “effect” number.
My coach suggested that I invent myself hireable. I decided that someone brilliant and a contribution would get hired more readily than the needy wreck I was. Then he suggested that I become that. He suggested that I stand in front of the mirror and cause the person in the mirror to become that.
It took me all night. Nine hours. But I became that. My vibration rose 70 points, and my about-me number dropped to 10%.
Even though brilliant and a contribution weren’t the exact words I would suggest today, because they weren’t a perfect match to what was missing for me, the ITCH, it worked famously, and started my journey, my spiritual journey towards allowing the spirit to fly.
The Spirit wants only that there be flying. As to who happens to do it, She has only a passing interest. ~Rilke
It is not your circumstances but you who don’t allow the spirit to fly.
When you love yourself, the Angel (spirit) within you is allowed to awaken (fly).
Love is not a feeling. Love is communication.
When I say I love you, I am communicating that I accept you exactly the way you are and exactly the way you aren’t.
I am not condoning your abominable behavior, I am accepting how you behave.
When you want to grow, the first step is to eliminate anything to fix.
Anything that seems to you wrong: you cannot accept wrong, so if you think there is ANYTHING wrong with you, you cannot love yourself. You can tolerate yourself.
And you cannot grow. You cannot fix and grow at the same time.
So you need to, you MUST look at yourself in reality. In reality nothing is wrong. Not how you look, not how you feel, not how you act. They are just how you look, how you feel, how you act. Nothing wrong, nothing to fix.
If you truly get there, you can start growing.
Every time something wrong sneaks in, you need to get back into reality where there is nothing wrong.
If you have to do it a thousand times, it is worth it.
Because Life wants more life… and when you are not growing, you cannot love yourself. You cannot have integrity, You cannot enjoy living. You are already dead.
But why can’t you grow?
The answer is both simple and puzzling.
You are tethered to your early childhood by a racket… a powerful yet invisible mechanism that makes you crave, chase, beg for what you said you didn’t get when you were a child. Your ITCH.
The machine is operated by need. The need of what you said you didn’t get as a child.
Attention, validation, OK-ness, belonging, value, importance, freedom: your ITCH.
And until that machine stops or comes on only rarely, so you have time to grow, so you can grow, until then you cannot grow. You need to do, you have to do what the machine wants you to do: try to extort that ITCH from life, from others.
It’s not that you are not smart enough. It is not than you are not anything enough. It is that your attention, your energy, your whole life is used to run the machine… and because it is invisible, you can’t see it, and because it is all powerful you can’t stop it from eating up your life… until now.
In the ITCH workshop we spend time to identify the ITCH in all its glory. The workshop is recorded… You can book a one-on-one session with me in additions to the workshop, or recruit three other participants to get a group session and share the cost.
In the advanced ITCH workshop we’ll learn a method to slow down, and even disable the machine for large chunks of time… My machine is still active, active like a vulcano, some 3-4 times a year, but I can catch it within a day, and shut it down again.
Unless you can catch your machine, I won’t accept you into the advanced ITCH workshop… so beware, you have to learn to walk before you can run.
The people on the top, the high achievers, have managed to control their insatiable need by providing it to themselves… ongoingly, generously, and without reservation.
Why them and not you?
It takes many spiritual capacities in the DNA for that to happen without insight, without training. And maybe they were lucky, and the birth of their ITCH came later in life… and by that time they found a way to provide themselves with what they needed.
They are the 1% of humanity. By learning the invisible machine and learning to manage it, you can join the 1%.
That is the promise of the two ITCH programs, and the Playground.
Learn to distinguish your ITCH
