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This is a somewhat edited article from 2011. In 2011 I still thought that I can upgrade the DNA of every person on the planet.
The capacity of caring is new to humanity. On September 4 less than a handful of people had it.
So what is this capacity ‘caring’ that we give lip service to, but we lie when we do that?
Let me tell you how I came to have it some 10 years ago:
In my Landmark Education class (I was a participant) there was one mysterious woman. She was beautiful, she was trim, and she wore new clothes every time I looked. She drove an expensive car, she made trips with men to different parts of the world. Also, she didn’t seem to have any occupation that took her away from her home.
A friend of mine asked what this woman did for a living. ‘For all I know, she could be a prostitute…‘ I said. I meant nothing by that, I have no moral judgment against anything. And it would match my early experience: beautiful woman, beautiful clothes, men.
About a week later this woman confronted me and asked if I had gossiped about her. I told her yes, and I told her exactly what I said.
Turns out she was a rich heiress.
The issue didn’t end there: our mutual friend reported my action to Landmark Education, and I was summoned to a conference call.
It forced me to confront it
But I could not see what was the big deal. but Landmark Education played the takeaway game. Unless I come clean I was going to be banned from participating. That was motivating enough. At that point Landmark was my rock, participating in Landmark was my organizing principle.
At the end of the call the course leader who led the call instructed me to invent the capacity of caring.
In hindsight this is mighty funny, because he himself didn’t have it, but I didn’t know that at the time.
So I spent the next three days in deep contemplation. I moved into the body and soul of the rich woman, and attempted to feel what she felt.
The role-play
At the end of the third day I role-played a scenario in my imagination. I played her in the role-playing. I was gossiped about I was afraid to go out because I didn’t know what people were gossiping about me, what people thought about me.
This is where I suddenly had an experience: that, not knowing what was going to bite me in the behind, what people thought about me was something that resonated with me.
I felt how horrible that was: going from a social dame to a social pariah, potentially.
I suddenly had the capacity to care about how what I do lands for another human.
How the consequences of my actions effect another.
It took me three days, but I invented the capacity to care.
Now, on September 4 2011 I added it to all human’s DNA, the capacity. But, of course, capacity is not an actuality, and it is still going to take work for each individual to activate it.
Newborns, children conceived after September 4 will have the capacity, and will have it active: it will be easy for them see how their actions effect another, and care or not care.
The capacity of respect overlaps with the capacity of caring.
OK, here is an example of respect: yesterday I had a private healing session appointment at 3 pm. The person didn’t show at 3, and I didn’t know what to think. After 20 minutes I called him on the phone. He said not to worry, he was on his way.
I was stunned. Surprised. Gobsmacked. He didn’t think anything of being 25 minutes late.
He said he meant no disrespect.
If you look, oftentimes the lack of a capacity points towards what’s missing much better than the name of the capacity. For example dis-respect really means contempt, viewing someone as less than you, and less than deserving of any regard, any consideration whatsoever… like women in the Middle East or in Kenya…
So this has been reverberating in my being for almost a day now. Respect, meant no disrespect, regard, no disregard…
What do these words really mean?
Of course they are all capacities… and distinctions.
Then I looked at today’s flurry of emails from students, past students, all requesting attention, all expecting a personal answer.
No respect for my time, no respect for the fact that they didn’t actually pay to buy my attention, no regard to allowing me to have a life.
I got that regard and respect are very similar to caring, and yet very different: in regard and in respect there are two sides of the coin.
Regard: noun: regard, plural noun: regards
Meaning: attention to or concern for something.
‘the court must have regard to the principle of welfare’
synonyms: consideration, care, concern, thought, notice, heed, attention
On one hand, regard and respect, the words, the distinctions, will guide you what to do to activate the capacity of caring. How? Both words have the root word looking and viewing.
That means you can do two things one each: you can look again: re-spect, and look if your action considered the other person’s rights and value as a human correctly, or if your action violated their right or their value.
And in ‘regard’ you can look at your hidden judgment or assessment of the person or rule or law and catch that maybe you consider yourself superior, above others, and above the law… very low vibration!
With regards to the two-sidedness of those capacities:
If I don’t respect myself, if I don’t set boundaries myself, if I don’t enforce them, then it is no disrespect if someone stands me up, or is late, or encroaching on my time. I am a free-for-all, a commodity, like air.
Wow, that hurts. And then again: it is a great kick in the butt to set boundaries, to start valuing myself and my time.
I am in the process to learn respect, learn regard… I have the capacity, just like I have the capacity to ride a bicycle.
The question is: will I learn how to do it, and when I know how to do it, will I do it?
You see, having capacities will only change your life when you go through these steps yourself.
PS: you’ll notice as you work through this, that the current use of caring has nothing to do with caring… or not really. And neither do the current use of the words respect and regard. You will have to re-learn them, from the ground up.
If you start with what you already know, you will be lead astray.
astray: away from the correct path or direction. Common root with stray… like in stray cat. Or straying.
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Caring, respect, regard are not just DNA capacities that can be turned on, they are also skills. Habits. Ways of being, ways of seeing, ways of behaving.
Like me, the first step in acquiring them is the ability to recognize them… or what is there in their place, uncaring, disrespect, disregard.
Recognizing them may create a big enough jet-engine energy to actually want to learn them, practice them, and become a caring person.
You can use the skill-building challenge to do the work supervised.
You’ll notice that in the beginning you’ll want to do it your way: uncaring for the purpose, of my efforts. Disrespect the idea, me, the practice. And disregard that you’ll remain unhappy, low vibration, and a toxic wretch without it.
Virtues are built one brick at a timeThe human DNA has 160 capacities that can be on or off. Source can turn on any capacity, but if you don’t know what it does, how to use it, it won’t matter
We all want people to care about us, about how we feel… but we don’t care about them. We want them to respect us… but we don’t respect anything and anyone… And putting ‘Best regards’ at the bottom of your email tells me you have none of that.
