Nature or nurture is a big question, even though, in the big picture, it won’t matter.
- What is part of nature can be changed. In fact it is being changed effectively all the time.
- What is part of nurture is harder to change, but it’s possible. It just takes more work.
Just the opposite of what you thought, right?
I am a good example for nature being changed: I got smarter than when I started, smarter than my siblings and my parents… through application. High achievers in the world are mostly of this type: born with little or average, worked harder, accomplished more than what they would get if they didn’t grow what they earned.
In my muscletesting the more you were born with the less you think you need to work, the less you want to work on becoming all you can become.
Really smart parents who worked hard and achieved much normally give birth to a generation that will not want to work for much of anything. Intellectually they may understand that it takes work to produce, but emotionally they are more on the immature, forever child side.
Nurture is more about rules: what is allowed, what is encouraged, what is not allowed, not welcome… resulting in habitual behaviors, attitudes.
More about what these new and forced behaviors and attitudes get you than about smarts…
- –Doing what needs to get done, in a timely manner is an attitude.
- –Knowing what is enough, and doing what it takes or even going beyond it is a matter of attitude.
- –Being curious, inner directed is a matter of attitude.
- –Deriving pleasure from doing is a matter of attitude
- –Deriving pleasure from getting it from manipulating others is also an attitude.
Nurture can separate you from your natural strengths and take you on a different path where your suppressed emotions, upsets and victories and subsequent decisions you make will create difficult to change scripts, and rackets, and ultimately create the Dark Wolf that you battle (or feed) all your life.
Humans are a mystery to themselves… and it is true for everyone, because the process that makes you the way you are is really in the invisible… undetected, or unidentified to you.
And even trained therapists, teachers, etc. cannot see it clearly because in is a tad convoluted, and because they are outside of you… they are onlookers, and they are influenced by their own mystery of themselves, interacting in funny ways with the client’s.
- I am somewhat versed in taking people from one place to a better place, but
- I am in no way versed in all the hidden dynamics.
- I was trained by people who were even less versed than myself. My advantage has been my ability to feel other people’s feelings… but why they feel the way they feel has been pretty hidden from my view.
As I am working on taking 13 people from the “valley of the shadow of death” mindset to the “heaven on earth” mindset, I am bumping up against my own ignorance.
It is time for me to find new modalities, it is time for me to learn to recognize new invisible dynamics… and I am doing it.
The motivator for me to do that is the fact that some people are very resistant to moving… and some people are just a little bit resistant to moving… but all in all… people are not really moving.
I am reading and attempting to internalize Transactional Analysis, a modality that invented Racket, games, ego-states as far as I am concerned… I don’t learn about it, I learn IT… and to tell you the truth, I am not concerned with the history of it.
I want to be able to USE it to disentangle the messed up emotions and rackets of my students, so I can take them to the Promised Land.
Do I sound like Moses? lol…
He did it differently, he made his people walk around in circles in the desert for 40 years, so the original people who left the comfortable conditions of Egypt die off…
Then the new people was allowed to enter the Promised Land… but not Moses.
Why? I think he might have had my soul correction, or his “about-me” score was too high to be admitted. With the about-me score your desire to receive for the self alone is also very high. The Dark Wolf, your dark self.
Am I like him? Who knows?
I don’t care. I only care that I can show “Source” whatever that is, that it is possible to take a homo sapiens, and turn them into a potential human being… the next evolutionary stage of the species.
My job is to show that it is possible, and the how to do it and how to not do it.
I am one of my “clients”, one of my experiments, just like the owner of the “Hair Club for Men”… I am not only the president, I am also a client.
https://youtu.be/IuRLGdGnqSU?t=43
In reading the Transactional Analysis articles I am reading, I am finding that MY racket and my clients’ rackets work together.
- I am finding out why certain clients left angry, cursing me, never coming back.
- Why some other clients left but came back
- Why other clients stay in spite of my protestation
I am also, for the first time, seeing why I may be permanently suicidal… lol, not funny.
So you see, it is mighty complicated.
Anything worth having is worth working for. Do you want anything worth having?
For most people, whatever is available to do, whatever is recommended them to do, raises the question: is it worth it?
And believe it or not, their answer is more often than not, in fact most of the time, according to muscletest 91% of the time, their answer is “no, it is not worth it” and they will not do what there is to do.
Obviously the biggest difference is where they look to get an answer, and where I look to get an answer.
First I look if it is doable.
I have 3-4 “things” I know of that I could go for, but I haven’t… I see them as not doable. Am I accurate about that? I don’t know. Muscletest is confirming my answer to all except one where the answer is yes/no… halfway yes, halfway no. So in that “result” I occasionally make weak attempts to win…
The essence of Transactional Analysis, a way to look at the inner motivations of a person using the invisible dynamics of racket and games is that at some point, in the nurturing stage of the child, the child’s natural expression was either mislabeled, redirected, or suppressed.
I am saying what I understand Transactional Analysis says… only 30% truth value, but some of it feels really true, especially when I look at when and how people cause suffering and stuckedness to themselves.
Running the invisible machine, the racket is easy… the payoff is puny…
But if you compare it with the amount of work required to get to the Promised Land… it doesn’t seem worth it to go for happiness, real success, freedom, self-love, self-respect, self-realization.
The many little, even puny fulfillments extinguish the “appetite” for living a life fully and powerfully.
Just like snacking kills the appetite…
Ambition, the desire to accomplish, the desire to grow is like the appetite. It is easy to kill it.
I spent a long time on Friday to measure numbers and look over the accomplishment level of my students in the Playground Program.
My two anchor points were where they each started. I call that zero.
The other anchor point is where they can get to. I only looked at one thing: the goal of the coarse: to get to a place where it’s obvious that there is nothing wrong in reality, that all wrong was added by people… and adding wrong creates drama, tension, unhappiness.
That end point is where this “there is nothing ever wrong” is the air you breathe, the water you drink, the floor you walk on.
I call a person there a hundred.
I am at 97… I still have some things that don’t only bother me, don’t only disgust me, but I react to them as if they were wrong. So I am not living fully in the Promised Land.
I graded the active students and found interesting correlations… maybe causes… I am not sure yet.
Now, before I go there, let me tell you the theory I teach with: in order to move you need to forces that point into the same direction.
- One is a fear, fear of loss, fear of punishment, fear of shame, etc. We’ll call that the stick.
- The other one is ambition. A goal to go for. Unless you know what it is, you don’t have that energy… so if you move, you’ll only move because of fear.
Ambition is an achievement you want and you are willing to work towards. The bigger the ambition, the more you are willing to work for it, and the more likely that you will move in that direction.
Desire is a fancy that you want, you wish, you expect even, but are not willing to exert any effort, any energy in that direction: you are hoping for a miracle.
About-me score shows to what degree you and your fancies occupy your cone of vision, your visual field
OK… with those clarified here are the scores of this class
- The first thing that you notice is that half of the students don’t do well.
- The second thing you notice that the people who don’t do well have a high desire/high about me-number, and very low ambition.
They don’t know, haven’t set a goal worth their while to go for. - The third thing you notice that the higher someone’s ambition number the better they do in the course, and the more it is predictable that they will eventually arrive to the Promised Land.
This is, of course, a snapshot. People change… see things… hear things… decide things…
But one thing is very sure: unless I increase my level of ability to inspire people, most people will be left behind.
As long I can see that at least some people respond and move… it is worth for me to live… and I’ll do everything I can, including learning new tricks, to help them move to the Promised Land.
