Are you a talker or a doer… If you spend most of your time in your head, you are probably a talker… You talk in your head
To change your life, you need to change how you see the world. We call that worldview, and it includes how you see everything.In both the Advanced Playground, and the Instant Coherence course, we’ve gotten to the same point. This has never happened before: it wasn’t planned, it is just how ‘strait and narrow’ works:
all roads lead to Rome, even if you didn’t know you wanted to go to Rome.
Rome is that largely imaginary (yet) place where you live a life that you love and you live it powerfully.
This past week I lead four webinars, and I’ll lead the fifth in about two hours.
Not my normal schedule. But it seems that breakthroughs need some intensity, frequency: some extra power put behind the actions that can cause a breakthrough.
And what the Wizard of Ads says: ‘To accomplish the miraculous you must attempt the ridiculous.‘ ~ Roy H. Williams
Attempt is not your usual ‘I tried it’… it is going full force, full steam, full conviction ahead… Tried it means you didn’t do it. Attempt means you really went for it.
Most people try… rare is the person who attempts. Even more rare is the person who does.
Now, I am far from accomplishing the miraculous, but I am attempting the ridiculous, every day, but to even consider winning: I had to double up. energy, frequency, intensity, preparation… and analyzing the results.
What we are just learning, though, is that there are two radically different worldviews are seen by the two most important parts of us: the ego and the soul.
The ego
The ego, let’s call it the dark wolf, can be symbolized by a triangle standing on its side: stable, solid, heavy, and is all about staying the same. Fighting the same fights, over and over, winning at all cost every step, never trying anything new, never allowing your real power to show. No change allowed.
Why? Because it upsets the apple cart, and the triangle… the ego. So the ego, even if, accidentally, you did something good and great, will return to its side… and laugh at you.
The soul
The soul, let’s call it the white wolf, can be symbolized by a triangle standing on its point: ready to rumble.
Kabbalah, the ancient science of receiving, calls the needed actions TIKKUN, correction. It is translated to Soul Correction… And it sound like the soul is faulty, or errant, but the truth: you will correct WITH THE HELP of the soul.
The way to move a triangle is to combine it with another triangle, making it like a wheel…
The triangle of the ego and the triangle of the soul embraced can fulfill on the soul’s desire, and calm down the ego: each get their due half of the time.
The dark and the white wolf need to embrace and roll…
What do you need to do, as the home of both wolves?
A whole lot… to tell you the truth.
We have to see that what the dark wolf insists is truth, insists is reality isn’t… and look at what it says through many different filters. If we don’t want to or can’t do that: nothing will ever change.
The dark wolf says that ‘there is something wrong with you, there is something wrong with others, and there is something wrong with the world’
It bases its judgment, judging you, others and the world wrong through using a narrow cone of vision, through looking at the world as if everything is about you, through an imprecise and inaccurate vocabulary, and through a self-view where you are not enough… not enough of anything. Not smart enough, not brave enough, not fast enough, not pretty enough… not enough.
Through a fixed self…
And it hides this in plain sight: this is how you are… it says… suggesting that there is nothing you can do about it… the only thing you can do is make up stuff to fix it… to cover it up, to lie.
Most people who come to me are talkers.
They cover up what’s ‘wrong with them’ mainly with talking. They lie that way. While some people do a little, be busy, AND also lie a lot.
One can assume that lying is the main way the dark wolf tells you to hide who you are… the fixed self it tells you are. The useless, powerless, ugly, stupid, lazy, worthless self it made up for you when you were an upset kid… by showing you a limited view of the incident that upset you.
It is all a lie. The dark wolf will and have been lying to you all your life. It is running your life.
The life that is run by the dark wolf has an organizing principle given the moves the dark wolf gave you.
The work we do in the Playground is learning to see clearly what was the lie, and how much of what you remember, what you noticed has been a lie. And how ineffective the moves of the dark wolf have been to get you to a great life… even to a good life.
And how much you hate yourself for what you are doing to yourself and your life, how stuck you are.
Once, around month 10 of the year long Playground, when you get clear about the havoc the dark wolf wreaks in your life, it is time to think what would the white wolf say that would make the two wolves embrace, and roll… unsticking your life.
By month 10 one would expect that you are ready to grow your integrity and your responsibility… and one would be disappointed. There is absolutely no place for integrity and responsibility in a life lead by the dark wolf.
These capacities are completely suppressed by the dark wolf… and unless you do, regularly, something you committed to, yet don’t want to do consistently, and struggle with the dark wolf daily, you won’t activate these capacities… ever.
Activate, shmactivate… what is this? magic?
Capacities like integrity and responsibility are DNA capacities, encoded in every human’s DNA, but are optional to activate. The body won’t activate a capacity you don’t really need.
Need is not a feeling.
You need to eat… or you die. you need to sleep or you die. you need to drink water of you die. you need to procreate or your genes die.
The capacities that the selfish gene needs are always open, always active.
The capacities that would make life enjoyable, rich, fulfilling, are not active. You can only open them up if your activity, your actions indicate to the body that you need them as much as you need to breathe…
I said ‘breathe’ because you die after only a few minutes, if breathing isn’t ‘practiced’…
That is about the intensity with which you need to need integrity and responsibility, the capacities to open and become part of your ‘machine’.
Without them the two wolves won’t fight it out and embrace, and you’ll remain stuck with the dark wolf created worldview and its natural actions: lying, fighting, hiding, trying, busyness, a life not to be proud of, a life you can’t enjoy.
In the Playground I ask every participant to do a 20-day learning challenge. I ask you to do something every day for 20 days, with the intention of getting good or better at it. And no matter how much you liked the idea on the first day, to be consistent and persistent at it, you’ll need integrity and responsibility to keep at it, to stay with it… instead of having a justification or explanation why you aren’t.
Of the 13 students in the Playground, one has increased his responsibility measure to 20%, the rest… they are the explainers, the talkers, the liars, the justifyers.
This student, once he completed his first 20-day challenge, hired a guitar teacher to go further.
How much responsibility do you need for the two wolves to embrace? 30%… if and only if your integrity measure is at least at 30% as well.
When your integrity number is low, you are a certifiable liar… a talker and not a doer. Even if you are doing most of your talking in your head… You are a windbag…
American English has eliminated the word lie, liar, lying from its use. Why? to serve the dark wolf that doesn’t want you to know that you are lying… But you do… don’t you?
As long as you do, and hide it, your integrity number remains low, and you’ll hate yourself and hate life. You’ll be wretched, and the only excitement you’ll get will be off-color: gossiping, blaming, posturing, pretending… or maybe stealing, and harming, and killing life…
Not the kind of excitement the soul has been wanting to lead you to: adventure, discovery, real fun.
The soul, the white wolf, wants you to have fun, the kind of fun that doesn’t cost others their right for fun, happiness, self-respect, or love.
The ego, the dark wolf, can’t even imagine you having that innocent fun: it can only get fun at others’ expense. It is what Kabbalah calls ‘desire to receive for the self alone.’
As I said, Kabbalah is the science of receiving. Receiving for the sake of sharing… receiving not at the expense of others.
In the last part of the work we do, once you have your integrity and your responsibility at least 30%, you become ready to activate the ‘tumbleweed’ formation of the two triangles, the ego and the soul, and go towards a direction, a destination that most suits your natural inclination, your talent, your heart’s desire.
It is still going to be a tug of war between the two wolves, and yet the tumbleweed will move… unless you give in to the dark wolf… and thus stop the movement.
It is not possible to kill the dark wolf… with the dark wolf you’ll die too.
But it IS possible to feed the white wolf so it become equal to the dark wolf, so it can power the tumbleweed.
At this point its power is minuscule, puny… and the dark wolf is winning 99% of the time…
The fundamental question you can ask of yourself, to get clear which wolf is running your life at the moment is this:
Am I being a talker are a producer?
or alternatively: is my current action taking me in the direction of my destination: a life worth living?
But if you look, underneath of every puny or unimportant, or pleasure seeking, or avoidance action there is a talking… that justifies it.
So ultimately, the question is: are you a talker or a doer?
