I took the garbage out this morning. It was really cold… I was shivering.
The guy across the street yelled to me: Happy New Year… and I responded in kind… But these good wished are nothing but wishful thinking: your word won’t make it happen. You wanting the New Year to be happy won’t do it for you… unless something changes… something fundamental… like your word will start to have power.
Because, at present, it has no power, or not much… instead your emotions control what you do, not your words.
Here is an example:
What happens when your want (want is an emotion, like craving) overrides your need, your rational part of the brain, and you buy something that you can’t use, or won’t use
You have two choices: you return it, if you can, or you keep it and suffer a double loss: an emotional loss and a financial loss.
I am just like you in this regard, with the only difference: I have trained myself to wait before I click the buy button.
It is also helpful, to me, that given that I am a not for profit company, I am always short of cash… It has the benefit of forcing me to think before I buy.
Especially now that I have lost a private client… who is, by the way, a prime example of the emotional buy: he wanted what private coaching offers, but was unwilling to do what it takes to benefit.
By the way: I don’t think he got the lesson.
Sometimes the price of failure is repaid in what you learn about yourself so you won’t make the same mistake again.
I have been observing people’s behavior especially their two selves relationship to each other… aka integrity.
The further away those two selves are from each other, the harder it is for those people to stick to anything, because they want what is instant, immediate, painless and fun. They also have a super sensitive “precious I” that takes offense when the truth is told about them.
Your Silver Bullet
Silver bullet is in essence an armor piercing bullet… it is what you armor yourself from ever finding out about yourself, because it is so horrible… for you.
I have mentioned before the “silver bullet” that has a short statement, often just one word, that instantly triggers collapse and being personally offended.
Mine, I have revised it recently, is someone calling me unkind. Why is it such a big deal? Because it is true, despite all my efforts to be kind, or at least perceived kind.
The client who quit: his silver bullet was “taker”… (Sexual Energy)
The common symptom is: you can’t be with your Silver Bullet.
A student emailed me the other day. His soul correction is Memories. I promised to ferret it out, and I think it is “liar”. He’ll tell me… if it hurts, it is.
Whatever your Silver Bullet is, it makes you doubly vulnerable: this may be the only thing you haven’t been able to choose, haven’t been able to embrace, haven’t been able to be with.
Some more silver bullets of people I deal with: stupid (stupid as the stupid does way! not a low IQ!), pontificating, two-faced, all-about-you, perfectionist
Here is a share, that hides the Silver Bullet in plain sight
I slipped back into the gutter these past two days, or rather nights. But I was shown something this time, about how I maybe haven’t been really interested in growing up, and haven’t fully owned that. How it’s MY decisions and actions that have given me this life, and how a lot of them aren’t leading to a pretty place, but it’s up to me to do things differently. I can see how I’ve been a pleasure seeker or a hedonist ever since I was a kid who was spoiled by my grandmother, and allowed to be lazy. Hoping, on some level, that I can get away with that, that it’s compatible with the good life, but it’s not. Avoiding responsibility, I think.
I recalled what Sophie said in the article which has been coming back to me for a while now, and recognized myself: “When you need to confront me, and tell me the things about yourself that you don’t like, your slothfulness, or your complacency, or your anger, you are pretending while you are doing that. As if your behavior, attitude, etc. didn’t constitute who you are. It does.
And unless you own it, fully, THERE IS NOTHING THAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.”
And one thing I glimpsed from Sophie’s recent article is that I haven’t really been disgusted with what I’ve been doing, and that I could bring disgust to it. Which doesn’t mean making it wrong – that would be not sticking to the reality. It seems like I’ve been missing the distinction there… it’s like so far I’ve been mostly familiar with fixing, coming from ‘there’s something wrong or missing here’. It seems that as I would start seeing that any ‘wrong’ is not based on reality, and start dropping some of the rigid rules, the ugly would come up (like it maybe has) – the ugly that was until now covered up or controlled for using force. Does that make sense?
If so, then interrupting this process of seeing by reacting to my case, and jumping back, at some point, into making what I saw wrong and fixing, may have formed a trap I’ve been stuck in… where I could never fully own who I was.
Either way, I think I can now declare that I hit rock bottom…
None of those words would not hurt my feelings… I could be saying “it is true some of the time”… no resistance.
When you know your Silver Bullet…
…you can immediately start working on accepting it, embracing it, owning it, choosing it. And be truly disgusted by it as intolerable… It is wickedly difficult, but not impossible. It is the energy of disgust that makes the change… not the “desire” to become better. The “desire” will make you hide it.
Nowadays if you tell me I am unkind, I will look and nod. I am still disgusted.
I am a critical Virgo plus a ‘Forget Thyself’, so yeah, I am naturally blunt, but I don’t mean to be unkind. I mean to be truthful. It works some of the time, and it doesn’t work most of the time. If you consider your feelings, your emotion reality, then you won’t appreciate what I say, because it triggers bad feelings. But if you look in reality: my assessment of you is accurate.
The Abundance Activator audio
The Abundance Activator audio is kinder than me, because it does the work wordlessly. So it will prune away the wants, and the evil inclinations, and the unimaginative mental slothfulness, and puts you in the position, where you can increase your sense of power to make money, or enjoy the money you have.
It needs to be played in the background, so it can work on your unconscious.
It works on you only while it is playing.
Special offer: Get a free high quality mini speaker
To celebrate 2019 and to raise some quick cash, I am offering a special deal that, I hope, is hard for you to refuse.
The audio itself sells for $30.
I throw in a high quality speaker that can work from you pc, or anything that plays the audio, and it has the option to play from a micro TF card that can be inserted. It also has Bluetooth.
I have a few on hand, once they are gone, I’ll order for you from China… it takes about two weeks for shipping from there.
The speaker is $20.99 on Amazon
But you get it for free when you get the Abundance Audio.
