Why your life is like an obstacle course… ups and downs…

Roller coasters are fun, exciting, and you can scream all you want… But when your whole life is a roller coaster, 24/7, that is not fun. That is exhausting.

I used to feel like my life was a roller coaster. Like people, emotions (my reactions to people, events, tasks) were jerking me left and jerking me right.

I hated the experience. I like smooth. I like to feel in control of my life and my inner state.

That girl is me… I HAAAATE roller coaster, the real one and life that is like one. Always hated it.

But nothing I knew could do that for me, smooth out my ride… nothing. … and believe me, I tried.

I took courses. I learned to use energies. I exercised. Nothing seemed to eliminate the roller coaster… until… until a few months ago. The ride was getting smoother… but life was still jerking me.

In this article I’ll teach you what’s going on in the invisible, that life is like that… and what to do about it.


One of the ways your life is chunky, clunky, choppy, jerky like a roller coaster is that your life is not integrated.

Integrated is a completely misunderstood concept. Even the 67 steps program teaches integration in a pedestrian way…

He says: move things closer. Have a gym in your house. Live close to work. Live close to the grocery store.

But it is all actions in the visible… and actions in the visible may make life a little easier, but not much.

What causes pretty much anything is not visible to the naked eye.

Success, happiness, joy, love, health, prosperity, abundance, wisdom… none of it is caused by anything visible to you.

The causes are all in the invisible. And so is with integration: the foundation of a seamless life, the foundation of a life that is joy to live.

Even the jerking is not in the visible.

This is the reason I only teach to manage the invisible paradigm… because it’s effective.

Most everything you read written by others, even if it is about mindset, deals with the visible, teach you to remain there.

The horizontal plane. Where being in control is an illusion: the tail wags the dog.

So what is the secret underground concept that can cause a sense of integration, a sense of seamless life, and the key to being able to spin several plates without dropping any of them, without effort, without tension, without resistance?

One of the fundamental invisible elements is context.

I have explained context as backdrop before: the painted canvas that makes the foreground a likely story… without anything ever changing in the foreground.

The backdrop is the invisible paradigm, the foreground is the visible.

Not much you can do in the foreground that changes the story.

The story, the story of your life, comes from the backgdrop.

The context of my life, for many decades, was that I was a victim. A victim of abuse, a victim of not being loved.

It didn’t matter what happened in the foreground, the story remained the same. I was abused in no matter what job, what relationship, even in what country I lived.

You would not know it if you looked at me. You had to hear me tell the story.

It took me decades to change the backdrop.

Why so long? No one told me that being abused, being a victim was in the backdrop.

And what you don’t know that you don’t know is the most important determinant of the quality of your life.
The backdrop is made up of things you say, whether you say it in your head or out loud… they are equally contribute a thread in the fabric of the backdrop.

Hundreds of sayings. Things that you said, things that you heard and accepted. Things that you resist.

And because they are part of the backdrop, they DETERMINE the quality of the story… the quality of your life.

You cannot create a new context and expect it to stick as long as most of the existing backdrop is unexamined.

This is what the quote, “the unexamined life is not worth living” 1

Now, true to form, all those quotes in the footnotes are talking about stuff… not saying much. What the heck does that mean? you could cry, and unless someone like me explains it to you to make it actionable, you’ll have Tree of Knowledge… the words that when they are repeated they become a lie. 2

OK, back to unexamined life.

What does it mean, according to this Empath, to examine your life?

It’s simple: start seeing the foreground as foreground, and the backdrop as backdrop.

And be interested in both. Learn how to shape both. Have the patience to play with it. Have the honesty to tell the truth.

Eventually life will become a lot more easy… on its way to become glorious.

Once you have gotten to easier… you can start adding threads into the backdrop. Or maybe completely re-draw it.

I have done that… But the backdrop needs to be reasonably empty of threads.

The last thread I managed to pull was that my life depends on what you do with what I teach. Hey, YOUR life depends on it, not mine.

My job is to be like the sun: shine on everyone. What people do with that shining is not my concern.

Really.

By the way, the pull of measuring myself with YOUR results is tremendous. It must be some cultural element of the fabric… but truth be told, there is nothing I can do that will change you, your thinking, your results. Nothing.

Only you can. And whether you will or won’t will not depend on me.

You’ll do when you are good and ready. Not a second before.

Interestingly most people go downward before they go up.

I have observed that. I don’t quite see why that is… unless it is the holding power of the chicken coop.

I have learned a huge lesson in my life that flies in the face of all that’s out there.

Of the carrot and the stick: the stick is a hundred times more powerful than the carrot.

I managed to raise my vibration, I managed to eliminate all the threads that constituted abused victim in my backdrop, all behaviors that had no integrity by cultivating HATE.

Unless you have the capacity to hate and sustain hate, you won’t have enough energy to change things.

Your wimpiness comes from that lack of capacity to hate or lack of willingness to hate.

Here is a quote from a novel I just finished:

“Hate is what preachers try to talk us out of on Sunday mornings. But hate is what I try to get my victims to use the other six days of the week. Hatred innervates. 3 It can bring strength and focus, where without it we might only know self-pity or anger. Hate moves us toward a goal of freedom from rage. Keep that close to your heart.”

I hate certain behaviors. I hate injustice. I hate envy, jealousy, betrayal. And I hate them especially when I am the perpetrator. So I’ll do whatever is in my power to eliminate them.

That is the secret of my growth. Hate. Strong, passionate, breathless hate. I know you Californian and Canadians are shocked. But consider that everything, EVERYTHING you have been told is to render you a wimp, low energy, ineffectual.

EVERYTHING. Don’t you hate that? Hate it enough to get back your suppressed energy?

lol.

  1. Quotes from google:

    The unexamined life is not worth living (Ancient Greek: is a famous dictum apparently uttered by Socrates at his trial for impiety and corrupting youth, for which he was subsequently sentenced to death, as described in Plato’s Apology.

    The claim is that only in striving to come to know ourselves and to understand ourselves do our lives have any meaning or value.

    Examining anything will result in you understanding it. As for that Socrates quote “The unexamined life is not worth living”. To me, that means “to understand what you are living for is more important than actually living.” … The worst life, the life not worth living, is one which has neither virtuousness nor excellence.

  2. Here is a little aside: two people I know and love study philosophy. They read what some people said, then they read what other people said about the original people said…

    Pure torture, if you ask me. Because unless you know that truth repeated is a lie, unless you use your studies to learn to think originally, you’ll remain a parrot… parroting b.s.

    And, of course, while you are student, you are not likely to have any original thoughts. So unless you have the context: I need to be able to think what they thought, so I can learn thinking, you’ll be miserable.

    I remember Werner Erhard saying in some event:

    Think this…

    …and of course people understood: think about this. Or they understood: understand this. But that wasn’t the instruction: the instruction was “think this”… near impossible if you live in the mind, if you think understanding or thinking about is useful.

    So the challenge for philosophy students especially is to turn something Tree of Knowledge into Tree of Life… so life can grow, instead of the mind: the Dark Side.

    I also have some people I know who have studied sociology. They learned to repeat the words, and never actually made it their own, instinctual… and now they argue about them. They are the most obtuse people I know… because nothing can fit in with all that Tree of Knowledge stuff.

    My instruction/advice to my philosophy students is to read as if they were taking a shower: not for understanding, not for knowledge, not for the exam, only to get wet.

    When you manage to do that (NOT EASY!) they/you avoid the trap of taking what you read and bastardize it, or turn it into Tree of Knowledge. You have done the first step towards thinking independently.

    Had Werner said: hear this, instead of Think this… he would have taken people closer to where LIFE is.

  3. puts blood in your organs… or gives you balls!

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar