Sometimes you need to see a bad attitude, a bad behavior. And suspect that what you are looking at is a mirror. Ugh.
I saw ingratitude with one of my clients and it was killing me.
It took me some time, but I started to see my own attitude in the client.
Whenever I see something ugly about myself I swing into action…
Remember? There is no way I am going to be anything less than magnificent… Why? I am sure it’s ego. I am sure it’s superiority.
But ego and superiority can fuel growth… and I use it abundantly. I have both abundantly… and I use them as fuel.
I have gone back to expanding the practice of generosity: beyond what I have allowed myself to do.
I started to see that generous and stingy keep me stuck… so I have been attacking this capacity with a chisel and a hammer. It is work and it is painful. It feels like I am peeling my own skin, and actually that is what I am doing.
It seems that generosity is letting go… Allowing… Much more than giving stuff, even time.
I am taking specific actions, because only actions will matter. Insights are a dime a dozen, and accidental actions won’t create a new me.
So I am setting actions that are new to me. Attitudes in all activities that are new to me.
Generosity of spirit… not holding onto stuff tightly. Allowing others to shine.
While I am practicing this I am starting to see that people have superpowers
Examples:
1. You have “Spidey” senses
Just like Spiderman, you notice small but important details that other people overlook. In fact, you experience your surroundings very deeply. Sometimes that means noticing a fallen bird’s nest that needs help getting back into its tree. Or maybe that means finding every lucky penny on the sidewalk. Paying attention in this way allows you to notice some very special things.
2. You’re a great storyteller
The best stories are the ones with the kind of attention to detail that make you feel like you’re right inside the story. Because of your ability to take in the world so deeply, you have the words to narrate stories with exquisite detail.
3. You’re almost never bored
When there are so many stimuli, like sounds and smells and people and colors and textures to take in around you, it’s never hard for your mind to find something interesting to dwell on.
4. You can help others get along
You are usually able to notice and empathize with other people’s perspectives, because you listen to what they’re saying. You hone in on what really matters to someone, and can then explain it to others. This makes you a natural mediator of conflicts.
5. You’re an awesome friend
You’re so open to noticing and even experiencing others’ emotions, that you make an awesome friend. You also strive not to hurt the feelings of others.
6. You are curious
You are always noticing things, making connections, and learning about the world. That makes you want to know how all this stuff is going to turn out! You are curious about the world around you.
7. You are incredibly creative
You have a vibrant imagination—a trait that makes a great artist. You may not be great at coloring, or even drawing a straight line, but you have a certain depth to your way of thinking and feeling that comes through via creative outlets. Make sure you get to be creative as often as possible to harness this gift.
8. You appreciate stories
You understand the characters in books or movies so well because you really understand the struggles or joys that the characters experience.
9. You have a rich inner life
You have an incredibly rich inner life! Your internal monologue, the way you reflect on events, and the way you process details is thorough and interesting. You have a tendency to daydream and fantasize. And your dreams at night may often be full of intricacy and emotion because you have so much going on inside your mind.
10. You care deeply and can have amazing relationships
Think about other words that have similar meanings to the term sensitive: complex, thoughtful, emotional, understanding. These are all qualities that, when harnessed and practiced, will help you grow stronger relationships and attachments to those you care about. You are very attuned to those you love, and they will appreciate you for it.
11. You are in amazing company
One in every five people is recognized as being highly sensitive. Here are some super-famous people thought to be highly sensitive: Albert Einstein, Carl Jung, Johnny Carson, Princess Diana, Jane Goodall and, of course, Batman. And you know what? It’s so natural that it happens with animals too!
How is this new? Previously I was sure only I had superpowers… :-\ lol… not funny.
Sigh. I could cry, but I choose to mine this vein of gold instead.
In the next client session I caught a glimpse of something unusual about that particular client.
Your superpower is connected to something weird about you.
I’ll explain what I mean by weird, off kilter, off usual… unusual.
You can be dyslexic. You could have been abused but not broken. You could have been shipped off to North Carolina without ever telling you what you did wrong. You could be weird… but all your weirdness comes from some lack, some pain, some discomfort, some misery.
Everything that happened to you, done to you, lacking from you can be the foundation of your superpower. I am not saying it will be… it can be.
I was a preemie, dyslexic, severe gastric issues (gluten, fructose, vegetable oil intolerance as it, decades later, turned out.) Insomnia, being blind as a bat… lots of weird stuff…
I was also abused.
Not something you are told to rejoice about, but in this article you’ll find out that those therapists were all wrong. Really. Being “normal” is highly overrated and NOT FUN.
Some people made a name for themselves… like Debbie Ford who calls this weird thing about you your shadow side.
Tai Lopez calls this your mess (Make your mess your message)
On a planet with nearly eight billion people you won’t stand out unless you have a superpower or two.
And we all want to stand out. It is genetic. It is in our DNA.
Normal people say: I want to be special…
Now, truth be told, even if you know what could be your superpower, you may not know what the heck to do with it. It is still true for the coaching client, and that meeting was a month ago.
Your superpower is a how and a who, not a what… and hows and who’s are hard to see.
This is true for most people.
If you have a friend, an amazing parent, a coach, a teacher with enough generosity and enough insight can be of assistance to you to see your superpower.
I always recommend using the superpower in combination to create an edge effect.
The second element is a second weirdness… if you have one.
The two together can create a strange alchemy that works like magic.
Alchemy: the medieval forerunner of chemistry, based on the supposed possible transformation of matter. Alchemy was concerned particularly with attempts to convert base metals into gold or to find a universal elixir. Here used as “a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination.”
You can experiment with different combinations. The best outcome is from making an eclectic mix of things… this is what I have done for myself. A soup with many ingredients.
But here is the caveat:
Nothing will happen unless you are in action.
And you won’t do anything unless you have the courage to be better, more, different than your peers, family, colleagues… unless you allow yourself to harvest the results of your special powers.
With great power comes great responsibility… and you don’t want responsibility. You just want to dabble, play, skin the surface… or be given.
Add that as an element in your soup: superficial…
There is a person, James Altucher, who did that. And is doing well with his soup: people are buying it, people recognize themselves in him, and he is, finally, having some fun. Since he has added “superficial”. Note to the wise: I am not sure he sees this about himself. Or maybe he does… I couldn’t care less. It’s enough for me that I see it.
To activate the alchemy, you have to get good at the components of your superpowers separately.
I have a client who likes to do fantasy projects. I consider that one component of his superpowers.
His job, at this stage is to get back into it, hone his craft. I assigned to him coming up with ideas to fantasize about, ideas to give people, ideas, good or bad, that he won’t commit to.
I stole this from Altucher, by the way.
He, my client, can come up with hundreds of ideas of things not to do. Or hundreds of combinations of ideas… about any topic… he has been doing it. And lo and behold, he has a real talent in that arena: coming up with ideas.
But before this can become a useful superpower, we’ll have to pick a second component. Alchemy needs “ingredients”.
He is good with numbers… he is good with music and dance. He has a passion for his ethnic group. We’ll look… The weirder the second component the better, I think. I might be wrong. But whenever the word passion comes up, I perk my ears.
Most people live a boring tasteless soup life. There is a sameness. To enliven this lifeless life, they try to use intoxicants, or some other chemical stuff… excitement is a chemical. Busy-ness is a chemical. Extinguishing fires is a chemical. Trying to feel good about yourself is a chemical… when you look at why you are pursuing it.
One of my heroes, Tellman Knudson, is a serious alchemist.
Ultra running is technically defined as any distance over 26.2 miles, with common distances of 50K, 50M, 100K, and 100 miles. Born in rural New Hampshire with severe ADD and twisted legs, Tellman Knudson is “The Backwoods Millionaire” well known for achieving the impossible
Tellman is an ultramarathon running marketer, one of his first products was called Something or other Chemistry Set. I have misplaced it… but you can guess what he was teaching there.
Jay Abraham, Mark Joyner, Dan Kennedy, Frank Kern are all alchemists, grand alchemists.
I did not invent this “technology”. It took me a long time to see it, to have eyes that see.
I had to chip away at generosity. To take away my eyes from me. Or the analogy I like to use: take my eyes off the hood of the car. (the lid above the engine for those of you who use a different word for it. Is it bonnet?).
