Deliberate… the opposite of sloppy, floppy, mindless way you now operate
We are all big on what to do… what to eat, what to read, what this and what that… and no one is teaching us how… I don’t necessarily mean the moves… that is not how, that is still what.
The how is somewhat invisible.
Easy… that is a how.
Sloppy, floppy, mindless… these are all hows.
And you guessed right: deliberately… is a how that very few people even begin to know.
So when you watch a youtube video, or an Olympic athlete, you see easy, grace, but you don’t see deliberate.
I am old, and finally I decided to live to the end of my life expectancy, which, obviously requires of me some different things. Eat differently, move differently, think differently.
So as part of this new plan, I watched a core strengthening exercises video on youtube. It was just uploaded two days ago.
The guy made the exercises look easy. And he talked while doing the really hard exercises.
What you don’t know. what you don’t see, is how he learned to project ease and grace.
I could talk about the decades of whatever he did… but I am more interested in the part where he made these five exercises look easy.
He started really slow. No jumping in, being sloppy and floppy and mindless, and then go from there to solid.
No. The sloppy way of learning is full of moments where you can get injured, or experience pain, and ineffectiveness.
I hope you guess that my goal is not to teach you to learn to exercise deliberately, although it would be good, just not my area of expertise.
My area of expertise is how you think, how you learn, how you make decisions.
You may notice, that the missing how “deliberately” is connected to quite a few other hows: all power in all action, complete&thorough, caring, seeing the big picture, seeing the consequences of your actions, consistency, disciplined. There are more…
These are all DNA capacities, either expressed or suppressed by the body. They get expressed if they are used and used consistently.
It is a linchpin capacity… at least for this group of capacities. If this one is not turned on, the rest cannot be expressed either.
Deliberate and awareness are twin capacities. Awareness that is not deliberate is not really awareness. And deliberateness that isn’t based on awareness is not really deliberate.
Awareness of what? you may ask. Awareness of your body, awareness of your speed, awareness of the voices. For example the voices don’t like awareness, the voices don’t like deliberateness.
The voices want you to think that you are speaking. They have taught the entire humanity that they are the mind… speaking. That there is a mind, a subconscious mind, a collective subconscious… and that you can rewire, change, wipe clean… that hypnosis does that… blah blah blah.
Nothing makes the voices happier that hearing comments like that, teaching like that. Oh, it is just the mind speaking…
And then you can remain floppy and sloppy, because what can you do?!!! Hear the whiny tone of voice?
Being deliberate, doing things deliberately is the hardest thing for a human…
Why? I am not sure. Maybe because deliberate leads to the next evolutionary level for human? So it is a bridge capacity… gaining its power from something invisible and higher?
People’s attitude, their whole world is a reflection of some future. It’s innate. And it’s decisive.
If the future you sense is one way, your whole attitude, your whole world is that way.
There are ineffective words for this in the English language, hope, faith, endgame optimism… yeah, but not quite.
It my not so humble opinion, it may boil down to “is it worth it?” Are my efforts going to pay off? Will my behavior matter on the long run?
And because most of us look down a timeline that leads to empty, or ugly, or dark, we have made the decision that it’s not worth it.
But that future is not set in stone, so humans walk around with their umbilical cord in their hands, trying to plug it in someplace where they are told that the future has hope… in spite of what they personally see.
I deal with this issue myself every day. Is my work going to live? Is it worth for me giving all my life to it?
And nothing and no one can assure me that it is worth it. So I need to invent it.
I need to invent it that it’s worth it.
When I find myself in the “there is no hope” I hope I’ll die soon. When I wriggle myself out, and change where I look, I am sure it’s worth it whether anyone will ever know me or my work, and then I want to live and work for many more years.
Now, I am not listening to voices… If I were, I would be flip-flopping… you know what I am talking about?
Now, I am switching where I look.
- Looking at the prize at the end of the journey doesn’t have a lot of good energy, and gives me the “I am not there yet”.
- Looking at where I am, on the other hand, gives me a strange place to be: “I am here” and there is joy in that. Wherever I am, if and when I can locate myself, there is joy.
We are taught to keep our eyes on the prize, and that makes our lives horrible, because you cannot find yourself in that picture.
So you need to be two-headed about things. You need to know that what you want to accomplish is possible. And that where you are at, what you do now, and how you do it is all that you need to find yourself. To feel that you are. To feel that you matter. To yourself.
There is probably nothing more important than I could teach you.
If you learn this and live by it, you’ll have the basis, the cornerstone of a life you can build anything on.
Success, wealth, health, love and fulfillment…
This is a combination of endgame optimism, and present realism, or being planted in reality, at the same time.
I promise you that every single person who achieved a lot and stayed up there has this combination.
You have to have both operating at the same time.
Interestingly, this is maybe the principle Tai hammers on most often.
And this may be the secret of his success. Because don’t be mistaken, Tai Lopez is successful, beyond his knowledge level, beyond what could be predicted from his numbers.
I will have my usual Talk to me monthly webinar on Wednesday, February 28, at 4 pm NY time.
I will teach this with drawings, if you are interested.
How will I know that you are interested? You’ll register in the webinar.
Fill out this form, and if all works as it should, after you click on the “go to the registration form” the page will forward you to the webinar registration form. If it doesn’t work, you’ll get an email with the registration link. If you can’t make it to the live call, I’ll record the call and will put it in my subscribers only site.
No matter how bad your numbers are now, if you can find yourself and say “here I am”, you now poise yourself to actually start moving… up. And as long as you keep it up (saying “here I am”) you’ll be able to move.
Easy to say, and you can do it…
Now, what if you cannot say it, because your delusional self is up in the sky, while your real self was left in the dust?
Then you’ll need to come down from the sky and start attending to reality… Bummer, eh?
Thank you very much for your articles, Sophie. There is so much new and recognizable at the same time for me in each article that i manage to read just one max two articles a day.
Yes, I agree Julia. The articles are long and dense… One or two a day is perfect.
I think of you fondly… and our conversation. xoxo