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Growth feels good… People who grow experience being fully in life, in a dance with life…
Growth feels good… and yet, most of the people I know are either stagnating because they don’t put themselves in a situation where they need to grow, or they put themselves in the courses and seminars and coaching programs to grow, but they don’t grow because …
Well, what comes after that ‘they don’t grow because’ is what this article is about.
I participated in Landmark Education for 26 years, and went from seminar to seminar, from course to course, from training program to training program. Without any break, without any time given myself to even know what the heck I learned.
The first 20 years I participated in programs back to back, often taking two seminars at the same time. Seminars, coaching programs, training programs, assisting, coaching in programs, courses…
I was busy… and admittedly didn’t grow.
Then I realized it and took only two things for the whole year. And i suddenly grew.
You don’t grow IN the course, you grow at home… when you implement.
The way you grow a muscle is like this: one day you use/overuse a muscle, the next day you allow it to rest. Then you do it again. And again.
People who follow the pattern I followed for the first 20 years leading NEVER grow.
They use seminars as a strategy to avoid growing.
I was guilty of this, myself. I knew that my parents said was the truth, that no matter what I did, I would not amount to much.
In 2005 I discovered that I had no kindness… that I was stingy. That I felt like I was wronged, and therefore I had the right to wrong everyone.
In 2007 I discovered that I was living with pretenses, including the pretense, that some one day day I was going to use all I’d learned… but that one day never came, and life was horrible: I hated myself.
I suddenly saw that maybe I had been wrong, and maybe there was something I still could do with my life.
Once I saw that, I found myself in action.
That is when I saw what I was passionate about. I saw that I was passionate I was about speakers’ success. I saw that I wanted to teach speakers to be effective at speaking.
I discovered what being an empath can contribute.
I had been coaching Landmark Education introduction leaders effectively, because I could feel where their voice was coming from. I helped them to speak from a place where they can sound more authentic, and produce better results.
Later I enrolled in an eight-month program where I experimented on how to live as this new me. How to drive this new vehicle, this new me that’s a sports car instead of an old jalopy.
I never doubted again that I could do it. I stopped going to every seminar that was offered, I even cancelled two seminars I fully paid for. I started to work, and work purposefully.
I worked on myself and my life like one works on a jigsaw puzzle
I kept in my view the box cover. The box cover that shows the picture of the finished puzzle…
When you work on a jigsaw puzzle, you have no doubt that all the pieces are there, and it only takes TIME and patience to put it all together.
A dream life begins with that box cover… and that certainty that you can do it.
- Some people can see it themselves,
- some people need a committed coach or partner to see it for them.
I am that kind of coach. I have never had a client who did not accomplish what I saw possible for them (box cover) unless they quit the coaching.
If you see that you are still going to all the seminars, reading all the books, buying all the programs, but the results you show for all that learning are meager to say the least?
You are really not alone…
The natural way to grow, is to grow in spurts, and then consolidate.
Grow intensely, and then harvest the benefits (use the knowledge) until the growth almost starts to slow down. The start it all over again.
So how can you do that in my programs, with my programs?
- Secret one is: do the ONE program you bought in earnest. Use the tools, predatory genes adjustment, energized water, the Big Bundle, the hero forum, it is easier than ever.
- Secret two is: create smaller box covers. This is, in essence, the aqueduct method, or milestones… I don’t care what you call it, but have in-between accomplishments.
Life will want to interfere… like someone will die… like you’ll have a fight with a spouse or a teacher… suddenly you get divorced… suddenly your business gets very busy… You get deadly ill…
All are signs that you are on the right track.
How so?
Life, your brain, is only willing to consider your commitment conditionally, when you make it.
Life, your brain, is like a ‘committed listener’, someone who is more committed to your success than you are.
But like every committed listener, they listen, keenly. They listen if you were just talking, or if you actually committed yourself, committed to certain actions.
Most of you say everything the same way… use the same words, same tone of voice, so it is hard to hear your intention… and how much power you put behind your words.
So what does life do? It rolls some boulders in your way…
Will you climb over it? Is it worth listening to you? Will you stop? You are full of sh*t: not worth listening to you.
Your integrity number corresponds to this…
There is no growth without challenging yourself, there is no growth without integrity.
Sorry to burst your bubble.
So how do you raise your integrity number?
There is only one way… consider integrity a muscle… and start doing muscle building on that muscle. Challenge it, daily, and make sure you pay attention to consolidate the gains.
You consolidate with doing powerful debriefing. I promised to do X… I did Y. It, eventually, activates the capacity of responsibility.
If there is no guilt, no blame, no explanation, no justification, no story… just the facts. You did or didn’t do. The results of your doing.
The discussion forum is a good place to do it. It’s public but not VERY public.
Or email coaching.
Start building your integrity muscleFor example about listening: practicing being interested. Or respect: practicing seeing a person, practicing looking again and again… instead of already knowing. Or taking actions for the ‘box cover’… creating a podcast. Or reducing your self-importance, your insistence of immediate result, your self-concern. Whatever leak is next for you to plug.
It’s personal. Whatever you are doing, or said you would do… Not random or capricious.
The purpose of the initial (optional) session is two-fold. To set the box cover, and to see what ancestral, cultural hindrance you may have that you need to beat.
