In my weekly coaching call with my only business/marketing student last night, I went deep into the causes of why someone with a degree, why someone who is making a living, cannot move further up the life-satisfaction, life effectiveness scale.
I have found two blatant holes in him, that my guess is shared by all of you, or most of you.
- 1. a total blindness of what gives meaning and therefore the mood for life.
- 2. a total inability to see what is cause and what is effect.
So how do you fix that? You don’t.
When you find something that isn’t working or isn’t working as well as you’d like it to, your knee jerk reaction is to fix it. Or change it. Or stop doing it.
But unless what you found is seed level, you can work till the cows come home, and you will only produce pretense, but not a change.
Medicine is a great example. Everything medical doctors do is what I said above: fix on the symptom level. They don’t have access to the cause… so they do the best they can. Besides fixing the cause would run the risk of too many doctors, to little need for them. So they don’t even look for the cause.
This same marketing student has been sniffling for a month now. I suggested that he asks for a health follow up.
Instead of treating the sinus infection, I decided to go to the seed level of his whole health… and muscletested a new food list for him. What was wrong with the previous one? Probably nothing. But he got lax with it, and his body reacted. Badly.
His sniffling was about 10% of what it was a week before. Fast result. Why? Because I attended to the core: eat only foods that your body can process. Simple.
The core issue, the seed level is always simple.
With regards to his mood at work, the seed level is simple again: His self-talk is in memes. I have to, I need to… and surprisingly? his mood is the mood of a slave… Not so good.
I have suggested in a previous article to replace the core memes of life: have to, need to, want to, and should with “I get to…”
I don’t ask you to do anything I don’t myself do. I get to do all the work I do. The work is sometimes tedious. The work includes a lot of things i don’t have a clue how to do. Things I don’t know how to fix… like the computer network error I got yesterday.
But when you don’t have to fix it, but you get to think about it, try different things, treat it as an adventure, you may accidentally discover that restarting the internet modem is the solution… Who would have thought… lol.
When your life is a “I get to…” all of it, you cannot avoid but be grateful for it, and everything in it.
Not the normal behavior.
It snowed overnight in Syracuse where I live.
- The exercise teacher thanked the class for showing up. People are abuzz 1 about the coming snow storm. There was no joy, only worry.
That is the “normal”.
Being able to penetrate the invisible, on your own, and not only in the examples I give, but in your own life, is what is missing.
When you do: the world is your oyster. You are head and shoulder above everyone and head and shoulder above what is there to do to be successful in anything.
But when you only understand what I say, you didn’t learn to see, you learned to repeat.
But truth repeated is a lie. Truth when I say it… lie when you do.
If you don’t stop after you hear my examples, and widen and deepen your understanding of cause and effect, the invisible will remain impenetrable to you, and you’ll be and remain “normal”.
I suspect that you never sit down and ponder: what is the essence I learned?
All distinctions are simple, and all examples cover up the simplicity.
Your brain, even if you are a simpleton, is equipped to see the simple skeleton under the flesh and muscles of a person… or the simple skeleton under all the examples… but if you don’t look beyond the flesh, you won’t see it.
Every phenomenon has the flesh and the skeleton.
And how you do anything is how you do everything. Meaning: you can’t tell what is in common between people, between tasks, between phenomena…
You could, but you won’t.
Why? Most of the cases can be taken back to the basic and simplest seed: having to, needing to, wanting to, and should.
The expanded meme may go this way: if I can see how it works and if I can make it work better… then I have to.
This is the “normal” interpretation of responsibility.
Now, turn it around: if I can see how it works and if I can make it work better… then I get to. Get to change it, and get to live the life of a winner. Happy, fulfilled, healthy, in love.
I watch students eagerly purchasing something, and once they have it, it promptly turns into “Grr, now I have to…”
And NONE of them ever discovers this on their own, even if they heard me say this a thousand times.
Why? Because they never really got that memes are everywhere, and it is all memes.
They sound like YOU thinking, but YOU would not decide to think only what makes you miserable, would you?
The core four (having to, needing to, wanting to, and should) is always at the root of everything that isn’t working, or isn’t working as well as it could. It is at the seed level of everything. Every mood. Every difficulty. Every pain. Every fear. Every anxiety.
- It is why you fill your day with useless, inconsequential “stuff”.
- This is why you fill your body with crap.
- This is why you recoil from loving your partner, care about your children, or read a book.
- Everything.
A life filled with ugh is an ugh life.
Every ugh comes from the core four. EVERY ONE OF THEM!
Now go and hunt them up, and replace them. S=hit or get off the potty.
PS: I just came back from shoveling snow, for myself, and for a neighbor of mine. The snow was light and easy to shovel. I felt powerful and I felt that I can do anything. I got to do it… and I am lucky I am alive.
