I am lucky. Life always offers me plenty to write about. 1
People say I am prolific, and if you look at my results: I write a lot. But… but if you asked me what I want to be acknowledged for, I wouldn’t say: for the number of articles. The number of articles only shows the tip of the iceberg.
I’d like to be acknowledged for my ability to see everything as part of the whole… and therefore relevant to us, to humanity in our quest to go to the next level of evolution.
If you poke into what it takes to be the way I view the world, you’ll find that I have a really really wide cone of vision inside which I see thousands of things clearly and distinctly.
All that while I am a tad petty about how I am viewed. lol.
A fellow Syracusan, a fellow coach, a fellow ex-Landmark Educationer contacted me today to ask for some pointers on how to redesign her website, so she can have a real web-business.
She, for 20 years, had a television program where she interviewed people… so her phone style is a lot like she was interviewing me.
I didn’t mind… every time people ask questions I get a chance to go back in time, and look to see if I can see something I have never seen… I am grateful.
Then she complimented me… on many things. None of it landed for me. I guess this is one area where I am petty… more than a tad petty.
Unless someone says that they will compliment me on what is important to them, I make up my own context, and I’ll believe that they think I am proud of what they compliment me on.
And this is what this article is about.
I know, I am terrible. But I want to be admired for what I say is special about me. I want to be complimented on what I am proud of. And it seems that I am not only a mad scientist, i am also proud of things no one thinks to appreciate.
I pondered this before I sat down to write this article.
I remember for 20-30 years I was most proud of my ability to express myself in English. Native English speaker take it as normal, but for me it was anything but normal. It was the result of 30 plus years of hard work. Daily.
Or: I just stumbled onto a piece of paper from 14 years ago. It was a todo list: one of the items was to write for an hour every day… lists, emails, whatever. Just write.
I have already forgotten that writing wasn’t always my main way of expressing myself: instead I was always on the phone, 4-6 hours every day, coaching people.
So what I am proud of changes with the times, and probably will change periodically till I die.
And being proud in my lonesome is not that gratifying… I want everyone to acknowledge me for what I think is a big accomplishment… for me.
I am proud of having been able to catch myself when I become a victim of takers… being able to break through someone’s resistance… being able to practice social skills in spite of my situation, living like a real loner.
I am proud of having been well, in spite of everything… or at least as well as can be expected.
But being a polymath… someone who has diverse interests and skills… I think that it should be a standard… lol. Nothing to be proud of.
So what am I proud of? What makes me proud? What is the necessary ingredient for me to feel proud? I think it’s the odds… overcoming odds that are difficult if not impossible. That is what I am proud of.
So, while I admit that I am petty and ungenerous, I also think that you should know what YOU are proud of.
The success journal is designed to awaken that pride. Because if you are not for you, who is? If you are not proud of you, then you expect it from others, and it is obvious to me, that you can wait till the cows come home: people will acknowledge you for what is important to them, not what YOU are proud of.
I learned this at Landmark Education, by the way.
The exercise went like this: pair up with someone. First person asks: What do you want to be acknowledged for? Second person says what they want to be acknowledged for. First person says: I acknowledge you… and tells them, VERBATIM, what they said they wanted to be acknowledged for.
VERBATIM. Not their understanding of it. Not their opinion of it. Not their evaluation of it. No, they give them back the exact words they said.
Here is an example conversation:
First person: What do you want to be acknowledged for?
Second person: I want to be acknowledged for raising three daughters who became productive members of society, in spite of me being a single mother.
First person: I acknowledge you “for raising three daughters who became productive members of society, in spite of you being a single mother.”
That’s it. Recreating. Mirroring. Changing the personal pronoun, the I to you, the my to your… etc.
The result is life altering. The result is experiencing being known, being appreciated, having lived a life that mattered. Rare and life altering. Relationship building. 2
Really.
And even if you live a life that you don’t think you should be proud of anything, you are proud of some things.
So go to the comment section, or send me an email and tell me what you want to be acknowledged for.
I am good at it. I want you to experience what I experienced 20 years ago.
And if you are doing the success journal: if you don’t experience being acknowledged, by yourself, then you are ripping yourself off.
When I start writing, every night, I am blah… just want to go to sleep. I just want the day to end. When I finish, I am excited, feel like a million bucks. Every night… Are you stingy with yourself?
And with practice it takes altogether 2-3 minutes… with practice.
oh, and a joke… to laugh a little
and let me add this here so you know that your accomplishments are not always “out there”… in the visible realm:
SECRET HEROISM
Jeff Brown says: Most of the greatest achievements on the planet are unknown to others — private overcomings, silent attempts at belief, re-opening a shattered heart.
The real path of champions truly lies within — the transforming of suffering into expansion, the clearing of horrifying debris, the building of a healthy self-concept without tools.
The greatest achievers have found a way to believe in something good despite being traumatized and fractured on life’s battlefields. No matter what else they accomplish in their lives, they are already champions.
One day the world will realize that it is much harder to heal a shattered heart than excel at athletics. Go(l)d medals all around.
– Jeff Brown, excerpted from his book from “Love It Forward” –
https://tinyurl.com/ycu6yr5u
- When you are bored… it is because you are boring!
- This is probably what I have missed with some students so affinity was never present! Hah, now I know!
