One of the missing pieces that you are missing, is not only missing for lack of ability, but…
The missing piece is seeing the result of what you are seeing in the big picture view, and check it against the probability of being accurate.
I am pretty good at it.
I am an architect, a structural engineer, and I had to do that every day for 21 years.
But…
In 1971, I got my diploma, and it was going to be my last full summer. I had no income, I had no money. So I took a job waitressing in a coffee shop.
One day the shop was full, and I had a regular in a hurry, so I added up his tab in my head, told him and he paid.
At the end of the day I realized that I grossly overcharged him. I was off by a decimal point. He never came back.
So, this morning I am sitting with this incident. This was almost 46 years ago.
Was I semi conscious of my deception? Would I have given him the money back had he come back for it?
I was observing my conflicting feelings.
- 1. The feeling of needing sustenance, survival, needing the money. Bad. We didn’t get a salary, we worked entirely on tips. And that extra money gave me an extra week of vacation… in a camping place, eating rice and beans, but still… a vacation. My last vacation. My last week of freedom.
- 2. And the feeling of needing to meet my own expectation as a person of integrity… my own desire to be able to look in the mirror and say: you are OK.
Obviously the first need was a lot stronger. I never realized before, but suddenly I see that the reason I was fired because the guy went to my manager instead of coming to me… Oh, I was fired from that job. Well deserved.
Very interesting. When you go back to the past and look deeper and look wider, you can see that what happened is what you have been thinking all these years that happened…
All these years I thought that the other waitresses got me fired… hah, how arrogant, how conceited, how untrue.
It is not an accident that this is coming up today of all days.
I have a one-on-one session scheduled with one of my students to do a digging session on money…
To redraw the map of reality as far as money goes…
I need it as much as this guy… :-\
Hm… money needs deception to come to me? Ugh… Whatever I’ll find I’ll look at LIKE A MAN… but I am not looking forward to it.
Any work you do on yourself is painful. Some more than others, but all painful.
I learned an important thing from Dr. Schulze years ago: if you support your body in recovering from a sickness, the body (the immune system) always does a 150% job. His words, not mine.
I have a weak immune system, I had my appendix and my tonsils removed, and my intestines are not in good shape. So I have to take his words seriously.
How do I do it? I allow my body to get little sick, a little chill here and there.
Then I go to bed and sweat it out.
Each time the body’s immune system wakes up, and does a thorough cleaning job.
It takes patience, and it takes taking the risk of getting too sick… But I don’t see any other way.
Now, what does this have to do with working on the inner map of reality with regards to money and the work of growth?
Everything.
Every time you are willing to go somewhere where you’ll feel hurt, nonphysical pain, ego bruising, etc. as you disassemble the current inner map of reality… you get a huge boost in your self-confidence.
Self-confidence is a lot like your immune system: it needs to be exercised, awakened, summoned, and kept in shape.
Break it down and build it up. Again and again.
Every time it will be based more and more on who you really are, what you can do, what you are willing to do.
On a Self that needs building, tearing down, and building again.
This is the work of climbing the Tree of Life… No other way is possible. No matter what “they” are telling you. They just want your money… with deception.
