You use the “compare and join” method: you compare what they do or how they do it, and find ONE THING that they do better to produce better results. You “join” them in doing that…
I don’t procrastinate. You could join me in that.
What? Procrastination is so “normal” that not procrastinating can put you into the mad-house… involuntary hospitalization. lol.
What is procrastination?
1. Procrastination is saying you would do something, and then 2. do something else and 3. feel bad about the thing you are not doing.
Now, which part of this three element process is the most important and to whom? What part, what aspect of you? And what part and aspect of you is the one who is not feeling good about the activity?
You see, this is a very different question than most people ask when they want to cure your procrastination.
I just finished reading an article… I’ll put it in here so you can read it. It’s a good article, and I agree with it… and yet.
I have a real problem with normal people saying anything about things that are directed from “under the hood” and procrastination is one of these.
If you look at the inner workings of anything, especially feelings and symbols (words), you will find that the activity with the most ANTICIPATED pleasant FEELING will win… even if the conflict is big, even if the long term results of the behavior is really really bad for you.
Now, let’s look at the dynamic through what I do:
If and when I decide (cut away the alternative) to do something, I do it. Rain or shine, feels good, feels bad, I will do it. On time.
I rarely decide anything. I am really aware that not every thought that looks like a good idea is something I will do, will have time to do, will have the means to do.
I do have a whole list of things that I keep alive to make a decision on, but until I make a decision on it, I don’t…
Procrastination is not doing what you said you would do. If you speak in a way as most people… talk is cheap, you probably think every kind of speaking is the same, and you think you are a procrastinator, even though you never actually decided anything… you just ran your mouth.
So if you should feel bad about anything it is feeling bad about being a blabbermouth…
I have students like that… a wretched habit.
I know people who walk around with a long todo list… and always feel guilty. No one is happier because you feel guilty. Commit to what you will do, and have the rest on a list: I could do it if i decided to do it… it’s an accurate title.
People who put too much on their lists, who didn’t calculate for life being hectic, interruptions, emergencies, are wretched.
They don’t get more done than me, they don’t get further than me, or if they do: they lose something on the way, mostly their happiness and their health.
So what am I saying?
Have fewer words of “I do” and then have a different relationship to them. Bring some toughness to those tasks, get them done, and then you’ll feel good about yourself.
I guarantee it.
Of course if this whole thing is a smokescreen… then we will talk about those in other articles. The Kamikaze aka cowardly lion is one of those…
More to come.
PS: here is the pdf version of the article I was talking about… the one I read today. putting-things-off
PPS: the core issue with procrastination is the imposition of some rule, man made rule, that is not relevant to the organism or system that you are.
That’s whey they say: don’t should on yourself…
Force, coercion, manipulation, cajoling, threatening, and all those forceful moves are needed, because what you put on your list is not a good match, not going to work for you.
So doing things on your list is more wasting your life that not doing them… Be mindful of what you say you’ll do.
When it is vacation: be on vacation. When it’s time to work, do your work. Get clear. Don’t make your life a mess and a confusing mess at that.
Get clear.
