An old client called me today. He was a client some 6-7 years ago. He was originally from Peru, living in Toronto at the time. He was in real-estate, and he was a lousy salesman. Regardless, he was pursuing his career, despite the poor match, poor results.
He is in Peru. H is living, modestly, on his real-estate investments in Canada. He still doesn’t know what he wants to do when he grows up. He is nearing 70. He is idle. He would like to spend his life with more meaning, doing something that he loves to do.
He is waiting for that “love-affair” to show up in his life. He can wait till he dies.
So what is the way to find the love of your life, whether it’s a vocation, or a person?
I know nothing about finding the right person. So I won’t be talking about that. But I have found, so far, two vocations that have supported me, and I love them. Maybe three… lol
Which means a few things:
- There is not only one thing that you can love, just like there is no one person who you can love, or even should love. Maybe not at the same time, but concurrently.
- Each relationship, each assignment, each job, each started business, even if it fails, takes you one step closer to becoming the person who would be able to match what you love.
- This guy (you?) don’t have any skills, any body of knowledge that would qualify him to any dream vocation. He also has the mindset of a moocher: that is why he performed poorly in his real estate business.
- You need to do things, without any money motive in mind, to increase your skills. You can’t love to do something that you cannot do.My method of learning new things to increase my skills and therefore love-level has been taking on things, at the prompting of others, that I can’t do.My absolute turning point in my life was when I took on leading a webinar class for a year. I insisted to receive no payment: I needed the freedom. When someone pays for your services, you are under the gun, and you have no time, and no presence of mind, to actually experience the learning, experience the growth. You and what’s important to you become only secondary to doing the job that makes you money.
If you examine the high earners, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, and countless others, they were tinkering, because they loved doing it. They did a ton of experiments, work, that wasn’t for the purpose of earning, or impressing, but for the sake of doing it.When you want to turn something you don’t even know how to do well into a money-making venture, you are ripping yourself off. Much like the little kid that sows some seeds, waits impatiently for them to sprout, and his impatience he unearths them, and they will never sprout into a plant. Dead.Also, in love-love, when you turn into the initial attraction into having casual sex, you just killed the possibility of love.Also, with masturbation you kill the possibility of passionate love.
Now, I know that you think that if you spare your energy, you’ll have more. If you spare your love, you’ll have more.
But, unfortunately to you, you can’t save or spare energy, you can’t save love. These phenomenons don’t exist in spare-able format: they are nouns, like flow, like living, and are only present when they are happening.
You think you want to spare yourself from disappointment, but you are only sparing yourself from growing, experiencing, developing skills, and loving life.
Age is no excuse, by the way. If you are 66 years old and you have 20 more years to live, you can live those years in bliss, or utter boredom, and emptiness. Your choice.
Howard Roark in the Fountainhead says:
“I don’t intend to build in order to have clients; I intend to have clients in order to build.”
“But you see, I have, let’s say, sixty years to live. Most of that time will be spent working. I’ve chosen the work I want to do. If I find no joy in it, then I’m only condemning myself to sixty years of torture.”
Howard Roark is the person you want to learn love from, not from Hollywood and co. There is substance only in the kind of love that Howard Roark introduces us to.
What activator would help you in becoming that kind of person, who can find love in what they do? Who is expanding because of love? I’ve read someplace, that because of love, one is courageous, but most of us are not courageous enough to love. We’ve been on the stands, in the comfort, in the safety of no action.
Most of us talk a good talk, but there is nothing, and we are unfulfilled.
Most of us wait with our hands out, duped by the Law of Attraction idea, by religion, by this whole culture of McDonalds, texting, consolation, and such tripe.
The Avatar State Activator I’ve made for this guy is called “Get out of waiting and get into action” or simply “Get Into Action, Get into the Game!“. We could also call it: Start Playing… I may rename it at some point…
As always, you need to use the harmonize audio to reach the vibration of 200, an then you can use any of the other activators. Under 200 vibration your power of focus is not working, at best you are hellbent or obsessed… that doesn’t help the activator to get its job done.
good work, June. xoxo
excellent article!! One question, how do you get the flames of desire to grow. I am still looking for my love of my life, in vocation.
Just got my answer… I need to increase my performance in the job that I currently have.
Johnny, living in the present doesn’t mean you don’t have desires. But desires is a funny thing. I don’t mean the whim-type desires, the desires to fill the void, or the desires that take you out of your life, like food and drugs and sex.
I mean desires that don’t die with the day.
You are trying to commit without desiring. Much like I did when I was 16. I remember complaining to my gynecologist that I can’t have an orgasm with masturbation. He said the smartest thing a doctor ever said: “Masturbate only when you are horny.” lol.
You are trying to set a goal without a burning desire. Get the flames of desire grow first. Don’t extinguish it by instant gratification.
Sophie, here’s a lesson I need: How to be committed to my goal, and not have that commitment to live in the past. I want to live by operating in the present moment. I know enough jargon to say ‘I am committed but not attached to the outcome,’ that’s about a future projection. How can I keep a commitment alive and real in the now, where I am trying to live?
Good stuff. Would love to hear more about the masturbation thing. In my case, context and mental fuzziness seem to be the issues. Without realizing it, I accomplished a lot in the arts, including my goal of understanding (mastering, at a stretch) something well enough to teach it. I have taught art to kids, to adults, and even taught some art-teaching stuff to teachers.
The problem is making it have meaning in my life. Without a context, the meaning in minimized, for me. Especially as I was trained as a designer. I’m not self-motivated enough as an artist to do it as a need. Neither do I want to be “driven” in that way. I would rather be the driver.
I may have a love problem. Excess masturbation has not been the cause. However, low testosterone might be, or other chemical imbalances in my mechanism. I love nothing, I am Passionate about nothing. I am surviving, not really living. Perhaps I need to return to play again, and find the joy in doing something without the heavy agenda. This is no way to live, and I am willing to do some more on the chance of waking up a little.