… when I snitched on my brother and he got beaten…
When you are young, and you don’t know you are an empath… life is very confusing.
It was confusing to me until, at around age 50, I decided to grow up. So it may be still confusing to you.
You feel being beaten when another is beaten. Very confusing. You feel their feelings, their emotions, and your own. It is often enough to push someone into schizophrenia. You are two people at the same time.
If you are not strong enough, you are gone.
Now, if your originating incident, the incident you made a big decision about yourself and about life, it is going to be tough…
You don’t want to go back there, because your feelings are ambivalent… it’s you, it’s not you. You don’t want to go back there and re-experience it.
But you need to. You need to go and sit with it, and tell the opposing feelings apart.
The feeling of: I am glad it’s not me. The feeling of: I am a bad person…
And the feelings of pain, anger, blame, hate, grief, feeling betrayed, etc.
You see the two different lines… two different people in two different extremes of a situation.
You can handle it… because unless you do, you’ll be avoiding it forever, and stay stupid, procrastinating, self-hating, and lost.
So don’t do it… go back there, and buckle down.
If it takes weeks, then it takes weeks. Just do it.
Please.
PS: same confusing situation if you witness sex early on. Even if it is dogs that have sex. or birds. or rabbits. or hamsters. Confusing as hell…
It’s a miracle that I am not an alcoholic.
If you grew up to be healthy, and you are an empath, you are lucky.
PS: I know that kids have empathy. But feeling empathy and being an empath and feeling like an empath are dramatically different.
