Hope
I woke up this morning with despair in my heart. My life looked hopeless, not a ray of light. I started to plan what I needed to do to get my affairs in order… because living with no hope is worse than dying.
Although I was doing it, I was feeling it, I was doing that from my Observer position, so I wasn’t involved… and yet, I could see that it was hopeless…
I got lax and got re-infested with mites… and once you tasted freedom, slavery is intolerable… it effected me badly.
Then I said: it looks hopeless, but what if whatever I am asking when I am doing muscletesting doesn’t know everything? After all not all things are knowable…
Maybe I need to be less slavish to muscletesting and actually ask more interesting, more creative, more unexpected question…
So I set out to be called (guided) to ask different questions, until this hopelessness breaks.
I didn’t have to wait long. I made a cup of tea, and felt like sweetening it a little… And that gave me a new question: what if the mites don’t like sugar? I remember reading once that when you have a big wound, putting sugar in the wound will disinfect it… Counter intuitive, and I think that is exactly what I’ll need with these little beasts.
So, I am going to test sugar… the number one poison?! imho it’s bread, but that is not the topic we are dealing with here of humans… maybe it will poison these little buggers?
It needs testing, testing when I am sober, aware, and not in wishful thinking… when I can be an objective scientist… hah… dream on sister… lol.
Chiropractor
I went for my weakly chiropractic adjustment. Almost as soon as I settled on the chiropractic table, I felt the mites crawling all over me, my face, under my clothes. It has been this way ever since I distinguished mites… before that, even if I itched, I didn’t associate it with mites… Me? Mites???!!! lol
I muscletested if I brought the mites or if the mites were already there. And found out that the mites were already there, and every Tuesday I go home with a fresh batch of mites to fight.
Now, what do you do with that information, right? Tell the guy he is a mite-distribution station? Teach him how to lay traps to thin out the population of mites in his office?
Must do something… grrr.
I, myself, haven’t seen any private clients since I knew that I had mites. It’s hard, because half of my income came from that.
But I can’t look in the mirror and say: I am patient zero… whatever that means in my case.
Medical intuitive
On Sunday I got a donation of $111. I emailed back to ask if it was a mistake. The guy said, no.
I said thank you, and proceeded to connect to him. It took me almost 10 minutes to be able to tolerate ‘being him.’ I suddenly felt hot… had to strip my clothes off. I felt thirsty, I had to drink. My eyes were burning…
I sent him my findings. A day later he sent me an email that I very accurately described his situation. He let me in on some more symptoms I missed.
I set down and meditated what could cause it… I felt parasites, similar to the kind that cause Lyme disease, in his lymph system, not bacteria, but a parasite.
I instructed him to ask his doctor.
I was quite awed by this, by the way. What if… What if I can actually really really do this, in earnest? What if I could get, beyond the emotional blockages, mindset issues, attitudes, what if I could actually intuit rare and difficult stuff like this?
I have been dabbling in this, and so far I’ve been accurate, but I have been humoring myself… not taking myself very seriously.
What if? Maybe I could even make a living? Pay my rent? Be still my heart… lest you explode.
