Oops, this was published by accident… although I love it, I am not sure you are ready for me giving it to you straight like this… lol.
This will be, probably, a growing post… so I will republish it every time I add to it.
- Marriage proposal: (the real communication:) I finally want to be in the position to tell you what to do: to tell you to stop doing the things you want to do, to stop seeing the people that support you, and tell you to start doing the things I want you to do, and start seeing the people that support me in telling you what to do.
I also want to take you for granted, stop courting you, stop pleasing you, stop complimenting you… I am tired of earning my keep. So, would you marry me?
- Mother driving their offspring to practices, etc. What seems to be happening is a good mother wants to participate in their child’s life. What is really happening is
–self-sacrifice: I am taking care of you therefore I can’t grow, take care of myself, have a life of my own.
–mother on phone talking to someone else: the real communication: I’d rather be somewhere else, talking to someone else, because I don’t consider YOU (the child) a person, only as luggage. I even consider you deaf, and will talk about stuff I know you should not hear… but who cares!
–I’ll post more as I see more
good for you. I hear that optimists are much less happy than pessimists… lol
Hmmm. I think that is very true in some relationships and completely untrue in others — a gross generalization. It is also a very negative view. Not all marriages are negative (although 50% end in divorce). Perhaps your negative view is why you have never been married and my optimistic view is why I have been with the same woman for 36 years. Not saying I am better than you – observation not judgement.