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This series of articles are exploring the hidden aspects of what holds you back from growing, from moving, from raising your vibration, from transformation, from living a life consistent with your abilities
When we look at your life, we see that there is a gap between what you are capable of, and what you are accomplishing. Especially in the areas of quality of life, accomplishment, and self-expression.
In my inquiry of what may hold you back,
reason number one seems to be: you are concerned with loss…
It fills you with anxiety and anguish. What are you afraid to lose? Anything and everything.
You are afraid to lose your self-image or public image. You are afraid to be thought as less than you think you should be. You are afraid of losing your social standing by trying something new.
You are afraid to let go of what you already know… the status quo.
Why are you afraid to let go of what you already know? Why are you afraid to learn anything new? Why are you afraid to change? Because…
You have an image to protect…
If you indulge me for a second,
your biggest hindrance is your successes…
They act now as ballasts that slow down, or prevent your NEXT success.
Much like a person who broke into the marketplace with an amazing book… and now is hard pressed to have the courage to write another book… because now they have something to protect…
They choose to be a one-hit wonder, instead of writing, and writing, and writing. Some of it is good, some of it is bad…
All your successes hold you back. Past or present
- Maybe you were considered pretty with a certain hair style? You are now 60 years old and insist on wearing the same hair style… and look like a dork.
- Maybe you were considered smart and well spoken… you have a hard time letting go of that… although it is stunting your growth because talking is not all there is. There is doing… and doing threatens your image of a smart person.
You need to consider that creating a “beginner’s mind” state is more than just guru mumbo jumbo.
Beginner’s mind could stand for “I have nothing to lose…“
The reason I so love taking people into the state of “hitting bottom” is because it seems like there is nothing to lose on that level of low. But me loving it so much won’t make me any more effective at it, unless you also want to hit bottom.
But it seems that, in certain cultures, holding onto what you have is more important than getting ahead. Especially the image… oh, the image… oh, what you or other people think about you… it is so seductive to explain, to justify, to live from the past.
It is a lot like climbing a tree and holding onto the branch at the same time… no climbing happens past the first or second branch… Instead what you get there is limbo.
When you are able to purge the toxic idea that holding onto what you have, holding onto what you have achieved serves you, once you learn how to relax your whole self so you can jump, you can get to the next level.
And please don’t think it’s ever going to get easier… in fact, on every new level it is going to be more and more challenging to let go.
Blockages?
Energy healers say: they will remove blockages. What they say, and what you understand is that there is something “negative”, something bad about you that has created the blockage.
My newest insight is that the blockage is created by what you consider good about yourself, your positive characteristics, your positive affiliations, your accomplishments.
Those give you the near-perfect binding to stay the same.
In a training seminar on training I learned the most important sentence I have ever learned… before that and since. The most important, because it allows me to grow. Here is the sentence:
In order to be trainable, you need to declare yourself incompetent.
Incompetent means zero. Like hitting bottom. By declaration only.
How is that for a counter-cultural move? It makes no sense. after all, isn’t it important what you know? Isn’t it important what you agree with? Isn’t it important to know how accomplished you already are?
It feels important, right? Incompetent? How is that going to make you better?
But, you see, only when you have the intelligence and the courage to do that, that you can get from A to B, that you can let go of the branch that you are holding onto.
I may not be able to convince you to hit bottom… so I have to settle for second best: an activator to erase for a moment all that self-concern, all that knowing, all that stuff that doesn’t allow you to look and see… like a child.
Here is the activator:
If you are not happy, I’ll refund your purchase if you tell me what you experienced that you don’t like. And I’ll be even grateful.
Create beginner’s mind
It is very relevant, Baheej, so keep looking. that is exactly the type of stuff I want as feedback. thank you.
The space between branches is frightening for me. At least, the way I interpret having to let go. I’m sitting here thinking of the times when I was afraid to go to the next level, and yet I did. I’m looking for that something that allowed me to act, in spite of the fear. Like: was it a “screw it, I’ve got nothing to lose ” attitude; maybe the embarrassment of not jumping to the next level was too great. I do recall when I was learning to ride a bicycle, and how my determination peaked when I saw my younger brother ride around the corner without his training wheels. I’ll have to look at that more. I hope this is relevant; I can remember being afraid to let go of grade school for middle school and the pattern that followed. Each time I moved on because I wasn’t given a choice. As an adult, I have the choice to stay put, and I do. Hmm? Thanks Sophie