This article began here… so to be able to follow, please read it from the beginning
Part 4: How does this look in MY life? These spiritual laws of money…
I have been in business for a long time (since 1979)
First I was an architect, then a land developer, later a magazine publisher, a body-worker, an energy practitioner, a webmaster, a coach, information publisher… A jack of all trades… lol.
I mentioned before that in most businesses I just barely made ends meet, not for lack of work or lack of talent, but for erroneous thinking. Your actions are going to be consistent with the way you think. So thinking is the most important thing to change.
The world will teach you wrong thinking. The world is always wrong. That is why there is only a very small percentage (less than 2%) of the world is prosperous. Prosperity is a 3-fold phenomenon: physical, mental, and spiritual.
Physical prosperity means:
having health, and having all the toys that you have time and talent to play with, explore the world grow and enjoy.
Mental prosperity means: having access and use of all the knowledge, learning that you have time, talent, and hunger to play with.
Spiritual prosperity means: have access and use of the connection to Source and people who enrich your life, that you can enrich theirs, so you can feel fulfilled and accomplished and belong.
If prosperity lacks in any of those three areas, the person does not have real prosperity, fulfillment, a sense of self, a sense of purpose.
I did best in the area of mental prosperity, lacked in physical prosperity, and seriously lacked in spiritual prosperity.
Let’s look at my lack and attempt to see how that may apply to you, or someone you know:
Here are some errors in my thinking that caused that lack:
1. Big one for me: I used to have a hard time with value.
No matter what someone said, I always looked at value through my own eyes. I was an unwanted child, and as such, I had a real hard time dealing with the conflict of having value. Any. In fact, in my own mind, I myself had no value. None.
Then I had an aha moment, totally not business related, but opened my eyes in business.
A friend of mine was participating in a Landmark Education seminar, 10 sessions, and helped a lot of the other participants.
The 10th session, half the room stood up to acknowledge him, he got a standing ovation.
As it usually is, because it wasn’t my own stuff, I could see and hear what was happening to him: he took the acknowledgement as a testimonial of his value. He didn’t have any value for himself (I always attracted people similar to me like that!) and the acknowledgment lended him some value. Finally.
Mortal danger. Now, every time he goes around the world, he has
1. a conceited self-image:
I have this and this value, I am great, treat me with reverence… etc.
2. when someone doesn’t acknowledge him, or doesn’t buy from him, he’ll be puzzling: what happened, it will be their fault, not his.
Either state takes you out of the game and puts you square into your head: no way to do business there. A self-conscious or self-centered person is not attractive and can’t make any money.
Where did he go wrong?
When someone acknowledges you or your product (work, report, behavior, help, etc.) they are NEVER acknowledging you. They are acknowledging that the stuff had value for them. It gives you valuable feedback, not about you, but of what people want, what people value, and what they want more of.
You are off the hook, and your ego doesn’t get engaged, and you can stay out of your head and right there with the person talking, and the next person and the next person.
As soon as I cut the connection between me and the results my business produced, I was free to produce more.
Here is another example from my own life:
In 1987 I participated in a week-long course. Lots of funky stuff: I loved it.
One of the long exercises was especially funky: all 117 people plus staff were crowded into this room and we needed to share our sexual secrets… not an easy thing to do.
I paid a lot of money to be in that course, and it promised to help you leave all your demons on the mountain (the location was Kingston, NY: mountain all right, lol) so I went full-out. With the kind of start I had (having been raped at age 3 and a half) I had lots to share. None of it I was proud of, but I was totally and completely committed to leave my demons on the mountain.
When the long session was over, I was sure no one would ever talk to me again from that group. So, with eyes downcast, I tried to sneak out of the room. To my surprise everyone was thanking me, they wanted to touch me, like a saint… lol.
For a moment I experienced being loved and belonging.
It was only the second time I experienced that. Obviously, I was trying to hold onto it: but to my dismay, the more I tried to hold onto it, the less people loved me.
I realized that the service I provided them with, the value they got, was hearing an example of courage and ‘devil should care’ attitude that freed me. That inspired them, and that was the value.
The moment I tried to hold on to our connection, who I was is anything but bold and courageous: I was tiptoeing, pleasing, all the disgusting things people do when they want you to like them.
Anything spiritual, love, appreciation, money will run from you when you try to earn it. You can’t earn it. You can only allow others to get value from you or your products and ‘pay’ for it with the currency they will pay for. Love, appreciation, money… you must take what you get.
2. Whenever I did anything for money I felt like a fake and a robber, even if it was something I liked to do.
I made a binding decision to not do ANYTHING for money. That doesn’t mean not getting paid. That is a mindset shift! Beware, I am not proposing that you work for free!
I made a decision that when I work, do only what I love to do, the kind of stuff I would do for free, except not do it unless I am paid. Why? Because that is the principle by which I want to live. I want to love my life. I want to love my work. I want to be free.
Now, it is an art to do. I, personally, don’t like to design webpages. I don’t like to create presentations. I don’t like to do one-on-one coaching. So I do them for my sake, and I don’t charge for it. All these are necessary for me to do what I love to do, so I do them for myself. They are not for sale. With me, you can be certain, that what I charge for, I really LOVE to do. The rest I do for myself.
Much like the architect in The Fountainhead who says: I don’t work to get clients, I have clients so I can work.
This project, connecting humanity to Source, is my passion: and for the best parts in it I get paid. The opposite of what most people do: do what they love to do for free, and get paid for what feels like w.o.r.k. the 4-letter word, the stuff they h.a.v.e to do… disgusting, if you ask me.
So even if you make money, spiritually you are wretched, if you consider work the thing to do so you can live after work. Wretched, wretched, wretched.
As you see, I don’t do any do-gooding projects, I don’t do anything to help the less fortunate. I am not interested helping anyone who has their hand out… it is against my integrity. I don’t enjoy it, and I refuse to do it.
Remember the principle: Change what is changeable, but keep what is unchangeable unchanged.
If you prefer to listen to articles, I have a version or this 4-part article where my computer reads it for you. You can get it for a mere $7. Paypal button will follow… momentarily. If you are in a hurry, just send me a donation, but tell me exactly what you are paying for, ok?
it takes time to work through all the misguided information you got throughout your life. I feel for you: I had to do the same thing. Maybe not to the degree that you have to, but still: it was a lot of work.
But don’t despair.
i want to screeeeam after reading this article,, but i won’t. instead i’ll get myself ready, go to work & clean two peoples homes and then drag my exhausted, aching body home,, all in the name of ‘keeping a roof over my head’. the funny thing is, that in the course of the week, there are two ‘perfectionists’,, you could literally eat off their floor… big strain for me to live up to their expectations, until i decided one day that there is no way anyone could possibly do that,,,and now i go with the intention to do my best each day and as long as i do that, i am satisfied… am always open for correction if they don’t like the way i did something,,, but i just had to take the ‘heat’ off myself,, the internal beating, and that allows it to be a little bit easier on me. oh boy! but there is a lot of ‘stuff’ in those articles sophie,,will reread them again tonight. thank you
good catch. our loved one see us better than we see ourselves.
for example I never saw myself as condescending, superior and all the nice things… even with others pointing it out it took me till two years ago to consider it a bad thing… lol
I read my soul correction article to her. She saw the part in me that holds on to material things and that I never have enough. The void in my chest part. I see it now too, but I didn’t before. She always saw it.
I’d love to teach a money course: there is so much more to learn and unlearn.
Try not to read with your mind: it’s enemy territory.
What did your wife say that indicates that she is not surprised?
Sophie,
I really found this series of articles to be meaningful. I just discovered my soul’s correction is the circulation of money, which really surprised me (but not my wife of 30 years — there is a message in that!). I have not been living my life on purpose, because I don’t know my purpose and my relationship with money has been horrible (I just declared bankruptcy). These articles are enlightening to me in those areas. I will reread them later and based on your recommendation I will read Rabbi Lapin’s book as well.
Thank you. I love you.