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Success or Failure in life… where do they come from? Do you ever ponder that question? How come some people are successful and others are not, even though seemingly they do the same things?
Consider this: The mind is a pattern creator. It is not interested, fundamentally unconcerned about your thriving or success, it is interested in surviving itself and once survived, staying the same. It creates the beginnings of a pattern every time you survive. And it continues to do so till you die. That’s why behavior scientists say it takes 21 days to change a behavior: a new pattern needs to be created.
Some patterns are deeper than others…
…like overeating, acting like a victim, and such. They have been practiced the longest.
While on the physical level homeostasis is a good thing, on the mind level that same homeostasis is a killer of ambitions and success.
Why? Because success takes risks. Success takes risking failure, being wrong, being ridiculed, maybe, and other really horrible things that the mind isn’t interested in.
But let’s get back to the place or places where your success or failure in life originates from and let’s learn how to change the outcome of whatever happened if you don’t like the way it is.
The early days of a human being are for learning. Learning the ropes, so to say. Learning what works, what doesn’t.
What is the mechanism? Is it like going to school where a patient teacher guides you through the material? With unconditional love and acceptance? Unfortunately, no.
There are no user manuals, no instructions manuals, or if there are, they were made up by some person, who may be successful, or not. Most people insist on instilling their patterns in everyone they meet.
Life offers you the school of hard knocks. What the knocks are about will not matter. On the other hand, what you decide about the knocks, the pattern your mind creates from the experience is crucial. Life defining.
I was an unwanted child. Happens in many families, for whatever reason they don’t want a child, but the child is coming, regardless.
My mother actively didn’t want me, so I was born 3 months premature. No incubators, no nothing. In 1947 Hungary was just out of the second world war, destruction and hunger was still everywhere.
I was born tiny, less than two pounds body weight.
My mother didn’t want me, and refused to touch me, lest she would accidentally bond with me. She was successful at that, we never bonded.
I was sickly, I got every disease that could kill me but I refused to die. I survived in the face of incredible odds.
What do you think my mind decided? That I am good at surviving in the face of incredible odds. What do you need for that pattern to operate? Incredible odds, right? Well, that has been my life’s story. Not a story of success, but a story of surviving.
When you look at your life, try to get to this pattern that your mind invented for your life, we could call it a life-script as well, and see what circumstances you need to have to make it run, seamlessly, like a clockwork.
Here is another example: Gabby was three years old when her younger sister was born. Until that point she was the apple of her parents’ eye. But she soon found out that the newcomer, the little sister was sickly and got all the attention. She decided that how to get attention in life is to get sick. Often.
That became the story of her life. The illnesses have become worse and worse. What else she needs for this story to run? Someone who will only be there when she is ill… and lately even that one person has gotten tired to be a caretaker…
When I asked her what would be the worst thing if I changed her belief system, she had an answer right away: her quest to be taken care of, which she equates with love (it isn’t) will be useless, and she feels that she would never have anyone care about her any more.
You see that that is a whole system, and therefore in belief work it needs to be handled as a whole system, so the win, which is the linchpin that holds it all together, is replaced with something healthier, is replaced with a bigger and better win. But there will always be a linchpin.
Obviously, if you are not successful, you need circumstances, behaviors, feelings and emotions that keep you running on a hamster wheel, hoping that this time it will be different.
When you are ready, get a feelings and belief session from me or another theta practitioner. But make sure you learn how to live with your new belief system, or you will go back to the old one. Nothing beats familiar in the eyes of the mind.
Your life will change. I just took a few minutes break to download the feelings of how to live a life without incredible odds and large obstacles, to go through life like hot knife goes through butter. How to win like sailing through smooth water, go far, and win big.
I am building a new pattern of smooth sailing… got it?
PS: Want more examples? Want an extra pair of eyes to see what is your pattern that you are repeating endlessly, and inadvertently you never get what you really want? Because with that pattern you can’t? It’s impossible?
Maybe if there are enough people interested, I’ll create a group where that is all we are going to do: ferreting out your pattern. You can’t catch what you can’t see… you can’t change what you don’t see… And if your life isn’t going how you want it to go, you definitely need to look at the pattern… and change it if you can.
I am going to do an Office Hours Call next Monday, July 26 at 3 pm my time, where we can look at that. As usual, I’ll have some old-timers on the call, so I can work with them to demonstrate how it works.
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Amazing insight
Thanks