As a True Empath I have to feel people’s emotions.
So I am sitting here feeling someone’s emotions who is suffering from anxiety.
He or she, I have no way to know who it is, has to make a decision, I guess. 1
In marketing classes, in marketing literature it is said that we make decisions emotionally and then justify our decision with reasoning.
But our emotions are not intelligent, they don’t care about reality, and in addition, they are highly manipulable.
Here is an example that may make me look bad, but who cares?
Some 30 years ago, when I was participating in Landmark Education (It was called Werner Erhard and Associates then) and almost every single person I spoke with registered to do the Forum.
What was my technique? Because I had one. A marketeer technique.
I asked them to close their eyes and imagine their ideal lives, having what they want five years from now… And tell me.
If they were willing to do it, ultimately they registered. Occasionally they got the result they wanted, but only occasionally.
But the emotions created by the words convinced them that they are buying into something that certainly will give them that result. So they registered.
But did I use a dirty trick on them? At the time I am not sure if I knew that, but now I know.
Nothing is automatic, and nothing is guaranteed.
If it is to be, it is up to you.
Marketeers call apartments “homes”, but an apartment is not a home, unless you make it so. Home is something that isn’t… unless you say so.
I lived for 50 odd years before I found home, and it wasn’t an apartment, it wasn’t a house, it was a feeling.
So, because emotions can be easily manipulated with words, emotions make you a sucker. Big time.
In the 67 steps coaching program there are a few tools, methodologies that allow you to make better decisions, and allow to escape anxiety.
Anxiety is that you are staring at the future, instead of staring at the present and calculate, reason, but from reality.
The future is not real. None of it.
And staring at it won’t help you make decisions in the present moment.
But looking at what is… makes decision making quite simple, and also make it possible to create a future that you desire… but only if you look at what is…
What you want is “future”. But all future is built on the present, the actions in the present moment. You cannot change the future. But you can change the present. Almost any action will change the present, and surprisingly the future.
If you have ever seen the “Back to the Future” trilogy, you know this. A change in the present is what changes the future…
I have been wanting to move for years now. Why? Because my rent is one third, and some months more than that of my income, and therefore I am house-poor… Big house also big utilities expense.
So for years I was beating myself up for not making a decisions… until a few months ago I sat down and did some calculations.
Do I have money to pay a security deposit and the first month rent?
Don’t laugh… I did… lol.
I don’t. I don’t have it… so staying put is my only option. I don’t see that my finances will change dramatically any time soon, so I may be taken to the cemetery from this apartment… lol.
I have also noticed a few weird things: I get a lot of marketing emails and some software is so clever: I want it.
I buy it.
Had I stopped to do the thinking bit, I would have seen that I am not willing to do the work… I just wanted to have something clever.
If I put together my purchases that I never utilized just for the past 12 months, I would have no problem moving.
Hah… He who can be trusted with a little, can be trusted with a lot… Obviously that is not me…
Because to add those purchases up, tell the truth about what made the buying decision, takes sitting down and looking at reality. And reality is the perfect place to look: it doesn’t lie. It shows you want you earned… whether it is joy or misery… you earned it.
The good thing is that when i take responsibility that I did that (frittered away the little I had) I am OK… so I did that. If I continue, life will not change much. If I had enough of that… then I can use that money for something bigger, better, or different. Maybe even life changing. hah…
I would love to experience things up close… like witnessing how a chocolatier makes chocolate from cocoa beans.
Or how the Israelis can turn a desert into an oasis by cheaply desalinating seawater.
I’d like to see my five grand-nieces… experience being a great aunt… or even an aunt. I bet they’ll snub me… and yet.
I don’t want too much… I love my life the way it is. But as long as I spend what I have on momentary pleasures, you can be sure I won’t have more… hm.
No anxiety, just seeing that “if it is to be, it is up to me.”
.
PS: While I was looking for past article to link, I found my blog from before i started this one… and it is full of great articles… check it out. here is a related article there: https://www.getunstuck.by-sophie.com/372/junctions-paradigm-jumping-late
- Found the person… and I was wrong about what caused the anxiety. They were waiting for an answer from me for their Starting Point Measurements. For many it is a lot like waiting for the biopsy results… a potential death sentence? Why? Because your Starting Point Measurements shows the present… how you are, what you see, what you have, now. And not the mirage you hope you are… The big difference though is that a positive biopsy is a circumstance. A starting point measurements is a snapshot of now… and says nothing about the future… except that it is possible… and maybe your first step towards that higher self you always pretended you were. But you have never fooled yourself! hah! But instead of appreciating that you get to know where you are, so you don’t build castles in the air, you are worried… sigh.
