I just had a revelation: we want the people around us to NEVER tell us what we do wrong, or funny, or that we snore, that we have bad breath, that we are bloated, etc. etc. etc.
We pick people who will never say anything like that to us, so we don’t have to deal with it. Including coaches and teachers and gurus that you pay…
But… but at the same time we pretend that we want to be better, that we want blah blah blah.
B.S. and we know it.
So we are so far divided inside, that we can’t be alone, can’t look in the mirror, because we can’t stand ourselves.
I think it is really hate that keeps people together. Do you think the person who doesn’t tell you that your breath stinks loves you? After all you want to know, you want to be encouraged to deal with it, don’t you?
Because feeling as someone pulls back from you as soon as they smell you isn’t your dream, is it?
But deep down, in your world of either/or… you are either perfect or no one will want to talk to you.
Perfection is unattainable, and boring. You are the way you are… but… and here is an important but.
You relate to other people the way you relate to yourself: you see that they are not perfect. And you judge, and judge, and feel superior… but you dig your own grave, almost literally.
Because if you cannot be OK the way you are, if they cannot be OK for you the way they are, then what are you doing? You hate yourself, and you hate them.
And that is your life.
The most searchers that find my site on the internet, search for is this sentence: And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good. I understand, perfection as a must is horrible, because it is unattainable. You can never be happy, you can never be satisfied, because you always fall short of perfection. Always.
I wonder if they get what is eating their insides, really.
Because here is another fallout of this condition, pretending to be perfect, expecting to be perfect: you won’t put out. You say “If I can’t be perfect, if I can’t do something perfectly, I won’t do it at all…” And that has been your life: you do nothing.
Your life is empty, your bank account is empty, your heart is empty.
Isn’t it time to come down to Earth? Where imperfect people live an imperfect life in imperfect countries in imperfect weather?
You behave if you had another life, a real life waiting for you, and as if this were, guess what: a dress rehearsal. A trial life. Not the real life…
This is your real life, and death is coming. Fast. And it will hurt to think that you didn’t do anything with your life.
Wake up. Today. Now!
I think this is the real meaning of the Steinbeck quote: if you let go of wanting to be perfect, you can actually participate in life, lead with your strengths, and have fun doing it.
I have a student who is brilliant around food, and the kitchen. But she doesn’t have time to do what she is brilliant at, because for her to be perfect she needs to be intellectual. Not going to happen.
All her strengths are outside of what we could call intellectual. So she is miserable, miserable, miserable. What a waste!
