Last night, in bed, I accidentally hugged myself.
Then, unexpectedly, I said to myself: I love you, little one. And then the “fun” began… The emotional dings, the doubt, the questioning, the grief.
Hoho… I said, what’s going on?
The little voice said: why would you love me?
Because I do… I said.
Do you love me, even though the house looks like a mess?
I don’t love your house, I love you. house, no house, mess, no mess… I love you.
oh. But do you love me even though I am getting old?
Oh, I do. And I want you to live long.
Sobbing… I didn’t know that the little self thought no one cared whether she lives or dies…. Some minutes pass. Hm. Very interesting.
And then, again…
And do you love me even though I have a missing tooth? That my legs hurt? That I am harsh? That I don’t have a lot of money?
It ended up with me, still hugging, falling asleep.
I saw something, that I thought you’d also benefit from.
It was a big big surprise that the little self didn’t think anyone cared if she lived or died. That explains a lot of self-neglect, that until now has not made any sense. And it was always there, operating, sabotaging, working counter to what I was working for.
Then I woke up, and found my horoscope,
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you,'” said author Maya Angelou. She concludes: “There is an African saying: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.” With this in mind, I invite you to take inventory of the allies and relatives whose relationships are most important to you. How well do they love themselves?
Is there anything you could do to help them upgrade their love for themselves? If their self-love is lacking, what might you do to protect yourself from that problem?
Confirmation. I need to ask you to do this exercise.
Hug yourself. As intimately as possible. Hug yourself the way children hug themselves, close to the neck, close to the face. Bend your face into your arms, and have this same conversation.
The goal is to hear what the little one is considering a good enough reason not to be loved.
Then either put it in the comments section, or send me in email.
The unexamined life is not worth living…
…and until you see the small and the big you’s relationship is hampered by what the small you considers wrong, you’ll never be able to be one… you’ll always be schizophrenic, split, and full of anxiety.
Guaranteed.
Now go. Do it. Do it many times, if the communication is hampered between your selves.
If you have a hard time standing in the Big You, then consider that I am hugging you, and I say: “I love you”.
See what it brings up. OK?
Good luck, have fun. Don’t be afraid to cry. Boys too…
PS: one more thing: if you have been taking the Unconditional Love Remedy, and you are not present to the grief between your two selves… you need to get present to it. It’s there. Weeping, sobbing… inside. You haven’t been attending to the most important person: you.
This exercise will open up the communication, and also brings awareness to the big issue there. Don’t miss it.
What I found was that the little me, age 4, is all-accepting of the big me, age 52. It’s the big me who has issues accepting the little me without conditions.
Q: “How can I (age 52) accept you, little me, at all ages (from birth to now)?”
A: “It’s about allowing. It’s about putting aside all the judgements that you are dragging in here from the world, and allowing the magnificence of your being to arise and be present.”
Q:”How do I become a man in the world?”
A: “Take all your fears (and inadequacies) out into the world and crumble them in your hands.”
Bottom line, the little one does not see any reasons not to love me. It’s is I, the big one, who has reasons not to love and accept myself. Reasons that I have brought in from the outside world, through comparison, etc.
The little one also told me my ideas about God and purpose are wrong, and that to be more passionately alive I ought to play more deeply.
Your level of awareness and comprehension is definitely below average, because you managed to do a completely different exercises.
The two yous are not different in age, they are the Self you, and the other one is the ego you.
And calling yourself X doesn’t hide who you are.
Thanks Sophie. Yes, I didn’t realize that I have been belittling myself and thinking that nobody would care whether I do or don’t do something, or anything. It is quite sad actually, and I have a feeling that it is a core issue of my lower self esteem, and even over-trying to prove myself to some people or in certain situations. Now, this helps me to just accept myself and give me some peace.
hell yeah, Meng. Especially if you do it regularly to check how you are doing. Thank you for sharing.